


He Who Dares, Watches

by Fr333bird



Series: He Who Dares Watches Series [1]
Category: Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Coming Out, First Time, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Romance, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-10-19
Updated: 2011-10-19
Packaged: 2017-10-24 18:58:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 23
Words: 77,282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/266760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fr333bird/pseuds/Fr333bird
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It all starts with a dare on the bus after a football game, but Edward's reaction to Jasper shocks him and results in a journey of self-discovery. AH, high school fic. Explicit adult content - lots of it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> **Disclaimer: Twilight is not mine. I make no profit from my inappropriate use of Stephanie Meyer's beautiful boys.**

Something about Jasper Hale always makes me uncomfortable. Don't get me wrong, he's a good guy – laid back, fun, good-natured – but there's just something about him that sets me on edge.

He and his sister Rose transferred to Forks High at the start of our senior year. They moved from Texas, and arrived at the end of what passes for summer here. They looked ridiculously out of place; all tanned skin and sun-bleached blonde hair.

They fitted in straight away. Rose is a bit intimidating and doesn't take any shit from anyone. The resident dominant females quickly realized that it was going to be easier to accept her rather than cut her out. She's also drop-dead gorgeous. My friend and neighbor, Emmett McCarthy, took one look at her and was lost. They've been the hottest couple at Forks High ever since. Rose has him wrapped around her perfectly-manicured little finger, but he's happy, I think he really loves her.

And Jasper slotted right in too. He made the football team at try-outs and quickly established himself as a valuable player. He gets on with everyone; his easy humor and laid-back attitude make him popular with guys and girls alike.

The girls swoon over his surfer-dude looks. With his chin length blonde curls and piercing blue eyes he's undeniably striking. His chiseled features and wide smile are pretty easy on the eye too, I guess… but his tall frame and muscular build stop him from looking too girly. This is according to my little sister Alice, who has a serious crush on him. She's constantly babbling on about him to anyone who will listen.

Jasper doesn't have a regular girlfriend but has caused quite a stir with the cheerleaders. Most of them have had his tongue down their throat at some party or other, but he doesn't fuck and tell. I've not heard of anything much more serious happening with any of them. Lauren Mallory claims she sucked his dick at a Halloween party but she's the type of girl who just makes shit up, so who knows if that's even true? Sometimes I wonder why I care what he has, or hasn't done with Lauren. I decide it's because of Alice and her interest in him.

I don't have a current girlfriend either, since Bella there hasn't been anyone who interests me. Most of the girls at school are so fake and irritating. I liked Bella because she was more natural than the rest of them, and her quirky humor appealed to me. We dated for a few months but it never quite felt quite right. When we fooled around it was okay... we'd get each other off, but I always felt that I should have been more into her than I was. Eventually I broke it off and she was pretty cool about it. She's dating a guy from La Push now, and seems happy.

Like I say... there isn't anyone who interests me, so I'm happy as things are. My right hand is my best friend and the internet always helps. I focus on my school work and sports, and hang out with the guys between times.

Life is pretty good, the only thing that bugs me is Jasper, and I can't for the life of me work out what my problem is with him. As I said, he's a great guy, fun to be around, everyone likes him. He's part of the group that I hang out with, because we're all on the football team, and socialize together a lot. Occasionally I catch him staring at me in an odd, intense way, but then his eyes slide away when he sees me looking. He sometimes seems on edge around me, and that makes me nervous too.

No one else seems to notice anything, but I often wonder whether Jasper dislikes me for some reason. Then I feel stupid and paranoid, because he grins at me and includes me in the conversation, and the moment of weirdness passes.

XOXOXOX

Every Saturday during football season we have games scheduled against other schools in the district. For away games we travel by bus with Coach Banner driving us. On the return journey when we're all high after the game, it's become traditional for us to have a bit of a party on the bus. The coach turns a blind eye to what goes on up the back, as long as we're not too rowdy he puts up with what he calls our 'youthful high-spirits'.

Today it was the last game of the season and we ended on a high note by winning a decisive victory against Port Townsend High School. It's a long drive back, a good couple of hours and Emmett and Mike Newton both snuck on a case of beer for the journey. Jasper is right in the back next to the window and I've ended up next to him. Emmett and Mike are across the aisle from us. After a couple of beers each the noise level's getting pretty high, and we whoop our approval as Jasper pulls out a bottle of bourbon from his bag and wiggles his eyebrows.

"Oh yeah, baby!" Emmett hollers, reaching out one of his huge hands for the bottle.

"Not so fast McCarty," drawls Jasper with a glint in his eye. "I think we should make it a little more interesting." He grins then continues. "To earn your shot, you have to do a dare first. So, who's in?"

"Bring it on!" Emmett replies, "So what's it going to be then? Come on guys, challenge me!"

"OK dude," Mike cuts in. "You have to flash your ass at that MILF who's been following us for the last twenty miles."

Emmett grins, "No problem man. I'll probably make her day!"

We all snigger as he stands on the back seat and drops his pants and boxer briefs. He presses his ass up against the window and wiggles his hips.

"Fuck man!" Mike is helpless with giggles. "She nearly drove off the fucking road! She's smiling though."

Emmett rearranges his clothes and sits back down, turning to blow a kiss at the lady in the car behind, then takes the proffered bottle and has a large swig.

"OK... Mr Newton," Jasper narrows his eyes and looks at Mike appraisingly. "You next – suggestions from the floor?"

"Down this beer in one... then you get a shot." Emmett challenges Mike, handing him a bottle of Bud. "No spilling allowed, Newton – we're watching."

Mike makes short work of the bottle, and then reaches triumphantly for the bourbon. "Easy – now who's up next? Eddie? Jasper?"

"Don't call me Eddie," I growl at him.

"OK, OK... Edward… Cullen... what-the-fuck-ever you wanna be called..." Mike is getting drunk now. He's always an annoying asshole when he's loaded. "I dare you to flash your dick out the back. I think the lady was enjoying the show, we should give her a little more to go home and flick one off to."

"Get the fuck out of here Newton, flash your own dick." I protest, but my complaints are drowned out by the others egging me on to do it.

"C'mon Ed, don't be a chicken," Emmett pokes me in the arm and I roll my eyes at him. "Unless of course you think my ass is just too hard an act to follow."

Jasper is looking at me intently, but he doesn't say anything. He just watches to see my reactions.

"Oh screw you all," I huff, getting to my feet and starting to unbutton my fly. I awkwardly squeeze my tall frame into a position where my groin is somehow pointing towards the rear window and push my pants and briefs below my dick for a brief moment.

"Wiggle it Eddie, come on!... give her a show," Mike catcalls but I'm already sliding back into my seat, cheeks flaming as I tuck my junk back into my pants and start to button them up.

"She's giving you a thumbs up Ed," Mike hoots. "I think you impressed her."

Something makes me glance at Jasper, and his eyes are fixed on my crotch. As I look at him his gaze flicks up to my face and he turns away quickly, his cheeks flushed. I notice that my dick is filling and convince myself that it's just because I've been manhandling it. What other explanation could there possibly be? I grab the bottle from Mike and take a large swallow, the fiery trail burns down my throat.

"Well it must be your turn next then Jas," Emmett crinkles his brow thoughtfully. "What's it gonna be?"

The words blurt out of my mouth before I can stop them. "I challenge you to jerk off... right now, here on the bus."

 _What the fuck has happened to my verbal filter?_ I didn't even know that thought was in my head, but it's out of my mouth now, and the guys are pissing themselves with laughter and Jasper's looking at me as if I've grown two heads. _Shit_. Well it's too late now, so I decide to run with it.

"So? You started this stupid game... but if you won't accept the dare..." I trail off, shrugging my shoulders and wait.

"Yeah, c'mon Hale," Emmett chuckles. "You can totally rub one out, we won't watch."

"Someone has to watch," Mike is slurring now, "otherwise he can cheat, if there's no jizz it doesn't count."

"Well Edward can watch then, he was the sick fuck who came up with the idea." Emmett grabs another beer and passes one to Mike. They settle back in their seats and start talking about the game earlier as they drink, and I look back at Jasper.

He stares back defiantly and the air seems to thicken between us. My mouth goes dry.

"Hey man, forget it..." I start to mumble but his hands are already moving to his groin.

He sinks back in his seat and I watch his hand cup his dick through the denim of his jeans. He rubs it lazily and I can see his erection swell and grow. I swallow, and I know I should look away but I can't. My eyes dart up to his face and his eyelids are lowered, just a sliver of lazy blue is still visible. He grins at me, unembarrassed, and I hear the clink of a belt buckle. I grip my beer tighter and take a swig, needing the distraction.

"Has he got it out yet Ed?" Mike snickers, "come on man, we haven't got all day."

"Just getting there Newton," Jasper replies. "I wouldn't wanna rush it. If a job's worth doing, it's worth doing well," he smirks at me and my eyes are pulled back down to his crotch.

His jeans are open now and there is an impressive bulge, still hidden by dark gray boxer briefs. My throat tightens as he pushes the elastic down below his balls, and his junk is on display. I feel a sudden, shocking rush of blood to my own dick as I take in the sight of his hard length and the perfect balls beneath. He wraps his hand around his shaft and squeezes, as he slides his hand slowly up and down a few times. _Fuck me, why am I so turned on by the sight of another dude playing with his dick?_

Then he moves his hand upwards. I follow it with my eyes, as he brings it to his mouth and licks with long, wet strokes until his palm is glistening with saliva. He meets my eyes as he does it, and I feel my face flush with heat.

His hand is back on his cock now and he lets his thighs fall open a little. The warm pressure of his left thigh against my right one makes my dick fill a little more, it's trapped uncomfortably and I long to adjust it, but am afraid of attracting his attention to my predicament.

His hand is moving faster now and I can hear his breathing getting faster. I grit my teeth, horrified by how much he is affecting me. His hand slides up and down and I can see that there is pre-cum oozing from the head of his dick. My mouth waters as I wonder what it tastes like. _What the fuck?_ I'm torn from my confusion as Mike interrupts again.

"Do you want some visuals man? I think I have a photo of Lauren's rack on my phone..."

"Nope I'm fine," Jasper panted, the movement of his hand continued. "I have a good imagination."

He draws a thumb over his slit, smearing the wetness around the head, and my own dick jumps in response. I nearly laugh hysterically, fearing that I might actually come in my pants, just from watching Jasper Fucking Hale spanking the monkey – in public – at my request. _I am so fucked_.

I can tell that he's getting close now because he starts to jerk his hips upwards, fucking his hand as his grip tightens. Something makes me look up and our eyes lock, his pupils are huge and he bites his lip. I feel his thigh twitch against mine. I look down and his hips are bucking, and he's coming in thick, pale streams onto his hand. The sight of his orgasm nearly makes me come undone, and I curl the fingers of my free hand into a fist, my nails digging painfully into the palm of my hand.

I watch as his hand slows, squeezing out the last drops of his release, then my eyes find their way back up to his. His lips curve in a slow, knowing smile and his eyes flick down to the visible bulge in my pants and back to meet my mortified gaze.

"I'm a bit sticky now Ed," his voice is husky. "Got a tissue I can have?"

I shake my head, and watch entranced as he calmly licks what he can off his fingers and then wipes the rest off with the bottom of his T-shirt. He tucks his dick back in his pants and buttons up, then grins at me, satisfied, like the cat that got the cream.

"Pass the fucking bourbon," he hollers to Mike who now appears to be the guardian of the bottle. "I feel like a need a cigarette after that, but I know Coach Banner has limits to the shit he'll put up with."

He grins, and leans back to take a slug of bourbon, his throat bobs and my cock twitches. We're still half an hour from home, and I know it will be sweet fucking torture to get through.

I console myself with the thought that I know exactly what will be going through my head when I jerk off later tonight, and that I will come in approximately thirty seconds flat to the memory of Jasper tossing off in front of me.


	2. Chapter 2

For the rest of the journey it feels as if all the blood in my body has taken up residence in my dick. I've never been so hard in my life and the need for release is painful. I sip at my beer and do my best to avoid Jasper's eyes. There is no doubt in my mind at all that he knew. He knew exactly how he had affected me, but instead of being disgusted or shocked he seemed amused and almost pleased by my reaction.

I just want to get home, and as we pull up at school I grab my stuff and get off the bus as fast as I can. I shout my goodbyes to my teammates, not daring to look at Jasper, and head for the parking lot. I can't resist pressing the heel of my hand against my erection. I'm still hard, and every time I close my eyes all I can see is Jasper Fucking Hale with his hand stroking his dick.

I find my dad waiting for me in his car and throw my bag in the trunk. I greet my dad as I slide awkwardly into the passenger seat, thankful that my dick has subsided slightly at last. I reply to my dad's questions about the game, but am distracted and desperate to get home.

As we come through the front door I hear my mom's cheerful greeting echo through from the kitchen.

"Hi honey, how was the game?"

"Great. Thanks, Mom!" I call back. "We won. I really need a shower now though, so I'm gonna head straight up and do that – I'll tell you all about it later okay?"

"Okay sweetie. Don't be too long, dinner's nearly ready."

I head up the stairs two at a time and lock my bedroom door behind me. I turn the shower on and strip off my clothes. As my cock springs free I groan in relief and palm it gently, making sure it's still in working order after the last hour of torture. _Fuck me, that feels good_.

I step into the shower and lean one arm against the tiled wall. My other hand pulls urgently on my cock as the warm water streams down my body. I don't even attempt to think about anything other than Jasper. I know I won't be able to help myself. My desperation for release prevents me from questioning what the fuck just happened and why I'm beating off thinking about another guy.

My mind plays through the images that feel as though they have been seared into my brain _. Jasper's strong fingers curling around his dick, his lazy blue eyes looking at me intently, the way he bit his lip just before he came, the sight of his release spurting out onto his hand._ That final image pulls me over and my balls tighten as I come hard, painting the tiles in front of me. I nearly black out with the intensity of my orgasm.

The rest of the evening passes in a daze. I feel shattered – literally, as though my mental image of myself has been smashed to pieces and reassembled in a new and confusing pattern. I push the intrusive thoughts away. I'm too tired to think about it now.

I go through the motions of dinner with my family. I answer their questions about the game; I wash the dishes and Alice dries. I let her chatter away to me and I manage to act as though I'm listening.

"You look tired, sweetie," my Mom says as we're finishing the dishes. She smiles at me and brushes my hair away from my forehead. I smile gratefully and nod, glad of the excuse to escape.

"Yeah, I'm beat. I think I'll head up to bed. It's been a long day."

I go to bed and try to sleep but my head is filled with thoughts of Jasper again. I feel my cock start to fill and I can't do this again. I don't want to touch myself and think about him. I don't _want_ to want him. I pick up a book and force myself to read, focusing on the words on the page and pushing all thoughts of Jasper away. I read until I fall asleep over my book. I stir at around midnight, switch my light off and push the book aside and collapse back into an exhausted sleep.

XOXOXOX

My sleep is mercifully dreamless, or if I do dream I don't recall the content. I wake early, with morning wood as usual, but don't risk taking care of it without some safe and appropriate visuals. I flip my laptop open and pull up one of my favorite porn sites. I keep my eyes open, fixed on tits and pussy while I stroke myself quickly and efficiently. I try not to dwell on the fact that it takes me about twice as long to come this morning as it did last night – when I was thinking about Jasper Hale's dick.

I lie in bed for a while and finally allow myself to think about the events of the night before. The _incident_ on the bus didn't mean anything. Watching someone else getting off is bound to make you feel horny. It gives you ideas. It wasn't because it was Jasper, or because he was a guy. It was just the alcohol and the adrenaline high after the game. I used to like it when Bella touched my dick; I liked it even more when she sucked it. _I'm not gay_. I nearly manage to convince myself.

I make it through Sunday by focusing on my homework. I have plenty to keep me occupied and I'm glad for it. It gives me an excuse to think about something other than Jasper. Most of the time I manage to keep him out of my head, but occasionally my guard slips and I'm assaulted by the uncomfortable memory of Saturday. It makes my face flush and my palms sweat, I feel a weird kind of sick guilt along with undeniable arousal. I squash the feelings down.

I stay up late on Sunday, not daring to attempt to sleep until I'm practically dropping off over my book again. I finally switch the light off and drift to sleep, congratulating myself on successful avoidance of any inappropriate thoughts. My subconscious has other ideas, however, and allows Jasper to invade my dreams. I wake at five in the morning, with memories of disconnected images of blond hair twisted in my fingers and strong tanned hands touching me. I'm sweating and my body is twisted in my sheets and my dick is hard and leaking in my underwear.

My hand creeps down to grip my cock and I groan in frustration. I won't do this. I pull my hand away. I can't let this become a habit. If I ignore this obsession and refuse to feed it, I'll get over it. I just need to be patient. I ignore my throbbing dick and lie there for a while, letting my mind wander. But sleep eludes me so I grab my book and start to read again in an attempt to quell the uneasy, lurching feeling in my belly.

XOXOXOX

I give Alice a ride to school as usual and am grateful for the distraction. She's such a chatterbox, she rarely requires too much input in a conversation. I nod and smile when required and I think I've managed to hide the turmoil that's going on inside. But my little sister is often surprisingly perceptive.

"Are you okay, Edward?" she finally asks, after a long pause in the mostly one-sided conversation.

"Uh... yeah," I reply. "Why?"

"Well, you're never the most talkative guy in the world," she says thoughtfully. "But you're quiet even for you today and you've got this frowny look on your face, like you're worried about something."

I know she's looking at me but I concentrate on the road. "I'm just tired and a bit stressed out, Al." I do my best to sound casual. "I've got lots of homework at the moment. It's nothing really."

I'm touched that she's noticed, but also a bit freaked out that my emotions are so easy to read.

"Oh, okay," she sounds relieved but I can still feel her watching me. She's unusually quiet for the rest of the journey and I'm not sure that I was convincing enough.

I don't see Jasper until third period when we have History together. He catches my eye as I walk to my seat, a row in front of him and slightly to the side. He gives me a small smile that I'm unable to return. My face flushes hot and our eyes lock for a moment before I look away and turn to sit down.

I feel his eyes on me during the lesson. It's like a kind of sixth sense that makes the skin on the back of my neck prickle and renders me clumsy and awkward. I know instinctively that if I turn around those blue eyes will be watching me.

At lunchtime I pile my plate even though I have no appetite and go to sit at our usual table. Emmett and Rose are already there and Mike joins us soon afterwards, along with Bella and her friend Angela. I eat mechanically, but don't taste the food as I shovel it in. My senses are on alert waiting for Jasper to turn up. I have my back to the door and my heart pounds as Emmett raises a hand in greeting and breaks into a grin.

"Hey, Jas man, how ya doin'?"

Jasper slides into the seat beside mine. I try not to stiffen in response to his proximity.

"Good thanks, Em. Hi guys," he grins at the rest of us.

I flick my eyes briefly at him as I nod round a mouthful of food, desperately trying to behave normally but my tongue feels as though it's stuck to the roof of my mouth. I have no idea how to speak to him; I can barely even look at him. I focus on the food, eating like it's a mission. I swear that I can feel the heat of his body all along my right side even though he's nowhere near touching me.

Jasper eats and chats to the others at the table, looking totally relaxed. My eyes are drawn to his long tanned fingers as they toy with his cutlery and I curse him. He was the one who had to jerk off in front of me. Why am I the one who is dying of embarrassment now? It doesn't seem fair. I mentally gloss over the uncomfortable fact that the whole stupid thing had been my idea. I was drunk – it was just a stupid bet. I hadn't really thought he'd go through with it. The guy had no shame.

Of course it was too much to hope for that someone wouldn't bring up the subject.

"So..." Mike turns to me with a shit-eating grin. "Have you recovered from having to watch Jasper rub one out on the bus on Saturday?"

"Dude, I'm eating!" I try to deflect him, aware of the blush flooding my face and neck. All eyes at the table are now on me and Jasper. Emmett is laughing his ass off.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Bella asks in horrified fascination.

Jasper stretches back in his chair next to me, the picture of relaxed amusement. "It was a bet," he drawls. "Ed's idea... you know I can't resist a challenge."

"Eww!" Rose shudders visibly and grimaces at her brother. "Stop talking now! I don't want to know."

"Yeah, change the subject please!" I agree vehemently. "It's not something I want to dwell on."

Jasper just chuckles, "yeah, well you've only got yourself to blame!" He nudges me in the ribs with a sharp elbow and I nearly choke on my pizza. I glare at him and he meets my eyes for a fraction longer than is socially appropriate. I feel blood rush to my dick in response and pull my eyes away in confusion. _What the fuck is wrong with me?_

I have gym with Jasper last period and am relieved when we're on opposing teams and have little contact. At the end I volunteer to help put the equipment away as an excuse to hang back.

By the time I get to the locker room the showers are empty. I take my time, wanting to avoid seeing Jasper getting dressed. But as I enter the changing area he's still there, alone and only wearing a pair of tight gray briefs. I know immediately that he's been waiting for me and my mouth goes dry. My eyes flicker unwillingly over his torso. I've seen it a hundred times before but have never really looked. I can't help myself today and take in his lean, hard body and tanned skin.

I drag my eyes up to his face and see that he's looking at me appraisingly and I feel strangely vulnerable under his scrutiny. I drop my hands to the towel at my waist and hold it in place awkwardly.

"So," he folds his arms across his muscled chest, his voice perfectly calm as he speaks. "Are we going to talk about what happened on Saturday? Or are you just going to carry on being weird around me?"

"Nothing happened," I flush. "It was just a stupid bet, forget about it."

"Edward, you know that's bullshit," he says firmly. "I saw the way you were looking at me and now you're freaking out about it."

"Just drop it!" I raise my voice and it echoes in the tiled space. "It was nothing, nothing happened. It's not like we touched each other or anything, we just crossed a line and it was uncomfortable and now I want to forget about it."

"Do you? Are you sure?" he drops his arms to his sides and stares intently at me. I feel pinned by his blue eyes and can't look away. "Because I know you wanted to touch me… and I wanted it too."

Heat floods me at his words, and I'm furious and aroused all at once. I want to push him up against the wall but am afraid that if I do, I'll kiss him instead of hitting him. His eyes drop to my groin and his lips quirk. I realize that my traitorous cock is pitching a tent in my towel.

When he looks back up at me, his eyes are dark and he takes a step towards me. I am frozen to the spot and then suddenly it's me who is being pushed up against the wall and Jasper's lips are crushed against mine.

He's kissing me – and it's hot and messy and amazing and I forget to breathe for a moment. His hands clasp my shoulders and slide around and down the bare skin of my back, pulling me closer. I gasp into his mouth when I feel his hard dick pushing against my erection. Then his tongue slides against mine and his stubble grazes my chin and reality crashes back in. I'm kissing another guy. I'm kissing Jasper-Fucking-Hale in the school locker room, where anyone could just walk in and see us. I don't want this. I don't want any of this. It's all too much and I push him away and glare at him, my fists clenched by my sides.

We are both panting and the ragged sound of our breathing is loud in the silence between us. His eyes glitter in his flushed face and his lips are swollen and wet. I feel another jolt of heat rush to my cock at the sight of him but I ignore it.

"You know you want this, Edward," his voice is husky and breathless. "Deny it all you want but your dick can't lie."

"Fuck you!" I spit, angry at being forced into a corner. I know I can't deny it. It's pretty fucking obvious, especially as I've just been pressed up against him. But I'm furious with him for pushing me.

"I don't think you're quite there yet, do you?" he quirks his eyebrows at me and I want to smash my fist into his smug face. I feel out of control and it terrifies me. He seems to sense that I'm close to losing it and backs off. "Sorry, man. It was just a joke."

"Just leave it, okay?" I growl. "I don't want this, I can't deal with it. Can we just forget this happened?"

I turn my back on him and dress quickly, ignoring him but feeling his eyes on me as I pull my clothes on like a shield. I grab my bag and start to walk away.

"Edward," he calls after me. I pause but don't look back. "I'm sorry… really. I should have known you're not ready."

 _What the fuck does he mean by that?_ I don't _ever_ want to be ready to make out with another dude in the locker room. I slam the door behind me with a satisfying thud.


	3. Chapter 3

I'm in a foul mood for the rest of the day. I hole up in my room, using homework as a distraction again. I'm normally a pretty good student but all this shit with Jasper is going to do wonders for my grades, I think wryly.

I barely speak to my family other than to answer direct questions. I know I'm being moody but I can't snap myself out of it. I catch my mom watching me subtly, her face concerned, but she wisely doesn't ask me what's wrong.

My dad's home for dinner tonight, eating with the family before he goes to work a night shift at the hospital. I catch his thoughtful blue eyes on me too. I know that they'll be discussing me later when they get a chance; my parents are just too damn good at knowing when something is wrong. They know me well though, and understand that I hate to be questioned. They trust me to come to them if I have a problem that I can't fix myself and tonight I'm grateful to them both for resisting the urge to ask me what's wrong. I wouldn't know how to answer them.

My mind is in turmoil all evening, flitting to Jasper constantly as soon as my guard drops. I have no idea what to think about all of this. I don't feel ready to face the questions about my sexuality that the events of the past few days have raised.

I lie awake that night and finally allow my thoughts free rein. I can't avoid them any longer so I figure it's time to try and make some sense of them. I think about the girls that I've been involved with, and then I let myself think about Jasper and the way he makes me feel.

I always assumed that I'd eventually meet a girl who I really clicked with, and who made me feel the way that I thought I was supposed to feel. But in a flash of uncomfortable insight I realize that no girl has ever made me feel even a fraction of the arousal that Jasper has inspired in me. I reluctantly admit that that must mean I _am_ attracted to guys. I let my mind pull up the memories of some of the stuff that Bella and I did together. I feel a flicker of arousal as I recall her lips around my dick and how good it felt. I wonder how it would feel if Jasper did that to me and within a matter of seconds I'm achingly hard. I want that, I want to feel Jasper's mouth on me. The image of him on the bus, his hand moving over his hard dick rushes into my head and I wonder how his cock would feel under my tongue and what it would taste like. That train of thought turns me on even more. I press the heel of my hand against my erection and groan.

So I've worked something out about myself at least, but this new knowledge doesn't make me feel any better. I'm not ready for any of it and don't know what it all means and how it will change things for me. It only raises a whole new slew of questions.

Jasper is clearly interested in me, but is he sure of his sexuality? And if he is, does anyone else know? I'm not sure whether I want to pursue anything with Jasper. My dick loves the idea, but my rational brain can only find reasons to run in the opposite direction. This is all too new; I'm not ready for any sort of relationship with another guy. I'm definitely not ready to face the complications that coming out would bring. Hardly anyone is ever openly gay in High School for good reason. It's not exactly the most supportive environment for anyone who doesn't fit the mold.

I decide to give my brain a break. I've done enough thinking for tonight, the rest can wait. Of course now that I've admitted my attraction to Jasper I can indulge in a leisurely jacking off session and let my imagination roam free for a change. This is exactly what I need and after an epic orgasm, fuelled by delicious Jasper fantasies, I sleep soundly.

I wake feeling refreshed and indulge myself with more thoughts of Jasper as I deal with my morning wood. Despite the uncertainty that still remains, I feel lighter today, as though part of a load that I was carrying has been lifted. I share a table with Jasper in Biology today and I'm nervous about seeing him, but a little excited too. I wonder what he is thinking about all of this, and whether he'll try and talk me about it again. Part of me hopes he will, even though I don't know how I'll respond.

I have a quick shower, pack my books and grab a quick breakfast.

"Morning, Mom!" I kiss her cheek as I lean over her to reach the cereal from the top shelf of the cupboard.

"Morning, sweetie," she smiles at me, "you seem brighter this morning, sleep well?"

"Yeah, thanks," I reply; then turn to my sister. "Hey, Alice – are you nearly ready? I want to leave in ten minutes."

"Yep, I'm on it!" she grins at me as she clears her plate and whisks out of the kitchen.

My mom looks at me over her coffee cup as I eat.

"You do look better this morning, Edward," her brow furrows slightly. "Your father and I don't like to interfere but we can always tell when something's bothering you. You do know that whatever's going on, you can talk to us about it if you want to?"

I meet her concerned hazel eyes and feel a rush of love for her, knowing I'm lucky to have such supportive parents. I nod and smile reassuringly.

"Thanks, I do know that... and I appreciate it. I'm fine, honestly." I pause and phrase the next words carefully, "I have had something on my mind, but I'll work it out for myself. It's nothing you need to worry about, okay?"

"Okay, honey," she smiles, "that's good, thanks."

I stand and clear my bowl. As I pass her standing at the counter, I pull her into a hug and rest my chin on the top of her head as she holds me and gives me a gentle squeeze. For a moment I remember when it used to be her chin resting on my hair. I sigh against her reddish blond hair, my life was way less complicated when I was that size.

XOXOXOX

I have Biology third period. As I enter the classroom I see that Jasper is already at our table. I catch his eyes as I approach and smile nervously. He smiles back, relief flickering across his features.

"Hey, man," I greet him, pulling out my chair and moving in beside him.

"Hey, Ed," he replies, looking at me carefully for a moment. "You okay, dude?" He's lowered his voice, obviously not wanting to be overheard. "I'm sorry again about yesterday, I shouldn't have… you know."

"It's okay," I flush at the memory of his lips on mine. "Really, forget it." But I know that I won't forget it and I hope that he won't either.

We're interrupted by the arrival of Mr Banner and we open our books as the lesson commences. It's all theory today, lots of listening and tedious note-taking. My mind wanders frequently and I find my eyes drawn to Jasper. I have to fight the desire to stare blatantly at him.

I settle for sneaking quick glances while pretending to concentrate on my work. Jasper's lean body is sprawled gracefully in his chair and his long legs stretch out beneath the table. He's not quite as tall as I am, but not far off. When he kissed me yesterday, our faces were almost level. I feel a flash of heat at the memory of his body, hard against mine.

His hair is still blond from the Texan summer. The sun bleached waves are messy and fall over his forehead as he leans forward over his books. My fingers twitch, wanting to touch them and assess their softness. I turn my attention to his hands. They are strong but elegant with long fingers and square nails. His skin is darker than mine, even though he has mostly lost his tan. His forearms are strong and I admire the play of muscles under the surface as he grips his pen.

He stops writing and I realize he's caught me staring. He's looking at me quizzically; his lips curled in amusement making dimples appear in his cheeks. I want to lick them. _Fucking hell – did I really just think that?_

I flush and shift in my seat, adjusting myself carefully. He notices the movement and his lips twitch as he turns back to his notes.

At the end of the lesson I pack my bag deliberately slowly, giving Jasper the opportunity to hang back and talk to me, but he doesn't take it.

"See you later, Ed," he calls casually over his shoulder as he leaves the room before me. I can't decide whether I'm relieved or disappointed.

At lunchtime he sits next to me and I'm hyper aware of his physical presence. My skin prickles with the desire for contact. I deliberately allow my elbow to brush against his once or twice. There is nothing casual about the movement and I wonder if he sees through it. He seems quieter than usual and I try to catch his eye occasionally but he seems to be avoiding my gaze.

I don't see him for the rest of the day and by the time I get home I realize that I'm definitely disappointed about this. I sigh with frustration over my homework, trying and failing to concentrate because I'm thinking about Jasper again. I suspect that he was deliberately avoiding me this afternoon and I know that I only have myself to blame. I had made it pretty clear the day before that I wanted him to back off and now he was doing just that. The irony of the situation isn't lost on me.

XOXOXOX

Wednesday passes in much the same way. Jasper and I don't have any classes together but I find myself looking out for him in the hallways, hoping to catch a glimpse of him. I'm shocked by the strength of my desire to see him, to have some contact with him, but I'm not brave enough to seek him out and confront him.

We sit together at lunch as usual with the rest of our group of friends. The chair next to his is free and I take it, meeting his gaze and returning his grin. He turns his attention back to the conversation at the table as I start to eat. I try not to look at him more than is appropriate, although I want to.

Bella and Angela arrive after me and we all shuffle up to make space for them. My thigh ends up pressed against Jasper's under the table. I could pull back a little and break the contact but I choose to leave it there feeling a thrill at my own daring. He could move up more if he didn't want to be touching me but he stays where he is. The heat of his leg is heavy and distracting against mine. The conversation flows around me but all I can think about is Jasper and how close he is.

"Edward, _dude_!" Emmett's bellow finally cuts through my consciousness and I realize that he's been trying to get my attention, presumably for a while given the current volume.

"Sorry man, what's up?" I lift my head and look across at him.

"Seriously, man. What is with you?" he grins and shakes his head. "Party at my house on Saturday night, my folks are out of town. You coming?"

"Uh… yeah, I guess," I reply, still distracted by the pressure of Jasper's thigh beneath the cover of the table.

"Cool, it'll be awesome."

It probably will be. Emmett's folks live in a huge house on the edge of town. Since Emmett turned eighteen they are pretty cool about him having friends over when they are away, as long as we don't trash the place. They have a pool and hot tub, it usually gets pretty wild.

"How about you, Jas?" Emmett asks.

"Sure thing, Em," Jasper replies from beside me. "Have you ever known me to willingly miss a chance to party?"

I'm glad he'll be there, but am a bit alarmed at the thought of us being in that sort of situation. I mostly blamed the alcohol on Saturday for the predicament I found myself in now. Being at one of Emmett's drunken pool parties with a half naked Jasper was going to be interesting to say the least.

XOXOXOX

On Thursday we have Biology together again and the tension between us is palpable. Neither of us says anything of any consequence but I can feel it buzzing between us. I want to look at him constantly and whenever I dare to glance his way, I keep getting that feeling that he's been watching me too but has looked away just in time.

Towards the end of the lesson Mr Banner announces that he's giving the class a project to work on in pairs for the next couple of weeks. It's a big assignment and we'll need to get together outside of school hours to be able to complete all the work. When he says that he wants us to work with our table partners my heart leaps in my chest.

My eyes slip sideways and Jasper's looking at me uncertainly. I try to grin reassuringly to show him that I don't have a problem with us working together – _far from it_. I guess I'm hoping that being pushed together will give us a chance to work out what's going on between us. He smiles back, the relief evident on his face.

We arrange to meet in the library after school to work out a schedule for the project. We find a table in a quiet corner and lay out our books and notes. It's nice having something neutral to focus on and talk about. Some of the awkwardness and tension of the last few days has lifted and it's a relief.

We draw up a plan and start making some notes. We make a good team, Jasper's easy going and happy to let me take the lead on the project. Biology's more my subject than his. He's more into History and the arts. He does chip in with some suggestions though and is clearly more than capable of getting his share of the work done.

Things feel almost normal between us for a while. But I still can't help looking at him over the table when his attention is on his work. He's so fucking beautiful and I wonder how it can be that I never thought of him that way before. I mean – I could always see objectively that he was a good-looking guy. But now there's nothing objective about my admiration of him. It's as if my perception has shifted entirely and just looking at him makes me want to touch him, makes me _want_ him.

I sigh audibly. It's hard concentrating on work when you have a boner pressing uncomfortably against the inside of your pants. He raises his eyes and looks at me questioningly and I flush and look away. We work in silence for a few more minutes but then we both reach for a book the same time and our fingers brush together. I jerk my hand back as though it's been burned, the shock of just that tiny amount of contact sending a jolt through me that goes straight to my already-half hard dick.

Our eyes lock across the library table and I'm trapped by his gaze and can't look away. I stare at Jasper openly now, taking in the chiseled features and the color that his risen in his cheeks. I know my own face is flaming, I can feel it. But I force myself to keep looking at him, not wanting to be the first one to look away. His lips are soft and slightly parted and as I study them, I unconsciously catch my own lower lip between my teeth.

"Dammit, Edward," Jasper breaks the thick silence between us with a rough whisper as his eyes drop to my mouth and darken. "Unless you want me to jump you right here in the fucking library, you need to stop looking at me as if I'm something to eat."

His words force a shocked laugh out of me and I realize that I had forgotten to breathe for a while. The laugh makes the tension dissipate a little, but not entirely.

"I'm sorry," I grin ruefully at him, my cheeks still hot. "I just… I…" I take a deep breath and force myself to be honest, allowing the words to tumble out uncensored. "I just can't stop thinking about you."

Jasper smiles then, properly, his face lights up and those dimples nearly blind me. "Well that's cool because I can't stop thinking about you either," he chuckles. "But I'm not gonna try and push you into anything again, Edward." His face is serious now as he continues. "I want you to be sure… so you just keep on thinking about stuff. But make sure to tell me when you're ready for more than thinking." He quirks his eyebrows suggestively at me and my dick twitches in response.

I nod and grin again and Jasper finally drops his eyes, ending our exchange. We return to our work and finish up for the day, catching each other's eyes occasionally and grinning across the table when we do.

We walk down to the parking lot together and pause when we reach my car.

"So…" I ask, attempting to keep my voice casual. "Do you want to come over to my place after school tomorrow to work on the project? Or we could meet in the library again if you'd rather?"

"Nope, your place sounds cool."

"Okay, see you tomorrow then." I say, a shy smile tugging at my lips.

"Yep, see you, man." He smiles back, then turns and strides to his car.

I find myself admiring his ass as he walks away. Just like the rest of him, his ass is pretty fucking perfect. I decide that I might actually be ready for more than just thinking and hope that I can find the courage to tell him so tomorrow.


	4. Chapter 4

I drift through Friday in a haze of excitement and anticipation. I see Jasper around, although we don't have any classes together and I try hard to act normally around him. He sits opposite me at lunch and I catch him looking at me once or twice. Each time he gives me a quick grin before looking away and one time I think I feel his foot nudge mine under the table. I wonder whether it's just wishful thinking.

We drive separately to my place after school, as he'll need his car to get home. Alice has been picked up by my mom. They're going to the mall together – knowing what Alice and my mom are like when they hit the shops, this means we're likely to have the house to ourselves for a while.

Jasper pulls up behind me in the driveway and waits on the step as I go to open the door. My heart is pounding in my chest and my fingers are damp and slippery with nerves. I fumble with the keys and curse under my breath. Finally I manage to open the door and he follows me in. We hang up our jackets and kick our shoes off.

"So where's Alice today?" Jasper asks.

"She's out shopping with my mom," I reply. "And my dad's working this afternoon."

He grins at me, his teeth glinting in the dim light of the hallway. "So... are you trying to get me alone and take advantage of me?"

"No!" I gasp and blush furiously. "I didn't _know_ they'd be out, Alice only told me at lunchtime!"

He laughs aloud, "I'm just kidding... chill, man," his eyes turn predatory but the grin remains. "Not that I'd have a problem it... the taking advantage, I mean. All you have to do is ask."

I'm left speechless. He's so confident, I envy his assurance. I really _want_ to ask but I can't find the words. I swallow and change the subject, cursing myself for my shyness.

"So... uh," I mumble. "Shall we go up to my room and get started?"

He takes pity on me and leaves off the flirting for a while. "Okay, lead the way."

I head up the stairs and can't help but wonder if he's checking out my ass as he follows me.

We spread our books and notes out on my bed and Jasper sprawls there on his belly, looking utterly relaxed and at home. I take the desk chair and try and listen to what he's saying, but I'm totally distracted by the sight of Jasper lying on my bed. All I can think about is how much time I've spent lying in that bed this week, beating off to fantasies about him. And now he's here, in my room, on my fucking bed. I really need to think about something else, or I'm going to end up with an embarrassingly visible erection.

I force myself to concentrate on the work and just about manage to keep a lid on my thoughts of Jasper for a while. We make a bit of headway with the project. He makes notes while I pull up some useful websites on my laptop. But I'm very aware of the time ticking past and don't want to waste this opportunity to talk to him now that we have some privacy for a change. I'm not sure how long my mom and Alice will be out and I get increasingly tense as the afternoon slips away.

Finally I find some courage from somewhere and blurt the words out before I can stop myself.

"So, how long have you known that you're attracted to guys?" I feel the blood rush to my face and neck, but force myself to look at him as I ask the question.

His eyes flick up and he meets my gaze for a moment, his chin resting on his hand. "I think I've always known really," he replies calmly. "I just never found myself looking at girls that way."

"Who else knows?" I ask.

"That I'm gay? You can say the word you know, Edward. I'm not scared of it," he smiles slightly. His voice is serious with no trace of mockery or teasing. "Nobody knows in Forks apart from you. And back in Texas the only person who knew was a guy called Garrett."

"Was he your boyfriend?" I feel a flicker of something like jealousy, but realize how ridiculous this is.

"Not really," Jasper pushes himself up and moves to sit cross-legged on the bed, facing me. "It was pretty casual, more experimentation. He was a bit older than me and knew what he was doing. I was eager to learn. It was fun, but nothing serious."

I flush and try not to squirm in my seat at the thought of Jasper learning about gay sex with this unknown Garrett.

"So... why do you fool around with girls?" I frown, confused. "Are you bi?"

"Nope," he grins, "I'm definitely gay. It's just easier this way at High School, you know? The girls want to kiss me so I let them, then no one suspects." He pauses and sighs. "It's not that I'm ashamed of what I am, I just figure it will be easier to come out once I'm at college, where hopefully people will be a bit more accepting."

I nod, that makes sense to me. "So not even your family know?"

"Not yet. They might suspect, but they've never asked why I haven't had a regular girlfriend. I wouldn't mind them knowing but I haven't felt the need to tell them yet."

I fall silent for a while; it's a lot to take in. I'm envious of his certainty but it must be hard keeping such a big secret from so many people.

Jasper finally breaks the silence. "So how about you?" It's the question I've been expecting, but it still makes me feel nervous. I take a deep shuddery breath, not sure I can say the words out loud.

"I thought I liked girls," I look at him as I talk and the kindness and understanding in his blue eyes give me the courage to continue. "I really did... I'd _never_ thought about boys before that day on the bus with you... and then suddenly it was like a dam burst." The words spill out of me now that I've started and it feels so good to be able to talk to someone about this. "But then it all made sense... I mean, I had girlfriends but it never felt right, you know? I always thought it was because it wasn't the right girl and that eventually I'd meet the right girl and then it would all click into place. But now..." I pause for breath and Jasper's still looking at me.

"Now?" he prompts, quirking his eyebrows.

"Now I think that I'm never going to meet the right girl... because all I can fucking think about is _you_!" My voice rings out in the space between us and I stare at him, shocked, my breathing harsh.

There's a long silence and I watch, mutely, as Jasper unfolds his legs and gets up from the bed. He moves to stand in front of me and I look down at his socked feet on the rug in front of me. I feel shy and terrified and hopeful all at once. His hands brush mine and he uncurls my fingers from where they're gripping the arms of the chair. He takes my hands and pulls me up to stand facing him, our hands linked. I lift my eyes and he's so close, our faces are almost touching. I take a shaky breath.

"Edward," he whispers, his soft breath tickling my lips. "If I kiss you, are you going to freak out this time?"

"I don't think so," I murmur.

And then surprisingly it's me who moves to close the gap between us. Our mouths brush and I'm amazed by the softness of his lips. When he kissed me in the locker room it was all angry and messy and hard but this is totally different. We take it slowly at first, our lips moving gently together and breath mingling. But soon I want more and lick along the seam of his lips until they part and I feel his tongue move against mine. I unclasp our fingers and slide my hands up his arms and across the broad width of his shoulders, not wanting to break the contact. When I reach his hair my fingers tangle into his curls and he tilts his head and opens wider, letting my tongue explore his mouth. I feel his hands grip my hips and pull me closer. We are both panting for breath and I gasp as his lips leave my mouth and he licks his way down my jaw to my neck.

"Fuck, Edward!" his breath hot and teeth sharp against my skin. He slides a warm hand up to touch the skin under the back of my t-shirt, while his other hand slides down to grab my ass. My hips shift instinctively towards his. I feel the hard press of his erection against mine and I'm aching for his touch. My hands are still in his hair and I pull his face back up to kiss him again. As our lips meet again in a warm delicious slide, I hear the sound of the front door and my mom and Alice's voices echoing in the hallway.

"Hi, Edward!" she calls up to me. "Are you home?"

I groan in frustration and pull back from Jasper. I rest my forehead against his for a second, while we catch our breath, then turn my head and yell back.

"Yeah! Hi, Mom. I'll be down in a sec."

Jasper chuckles. "Maybe it's for the best... I'm not sure I could have stopped otherwise."

I pull back and grin at him. "Maybe I didn't want you to stop."

He smiles and puts a hand on the back of my neck, and pulls me in for a chaste kiss on the lips.

"Well I won't put up a fight, but I think we need to go and say hi to your mom." He steps back and his eyes drop to the bulge in my jeans and his lips twitch in delighted amusement. "Well... maybe in a minute."

I flush and glare at him. "You looking is _not_ helping!"

"Yeah, it's not gonna help me calm down either," he smirks, "but it kind of draws the eye."

I stare at his groin where I can see the outline of his dick and my mouth goes dry. "Uh... yeah," I go a little glazed and my dick throbs. "Okay, no more looking."

We laugh together and I'm amazed at how not-weird I feel about this. I'm in my bedroom and I've been kissing Jasper. My hands have been in his hair and his hand has been on my ass and it's all okay, a whole lot better than okay in fact.

Once we're presentable we go downstairs and find my mom and Alice in the kitchen. Alice does a double-take when she sees Jasper behind me and smiles from ear to ear.

"Hey, Jasper!" she greets him.

"Hi, Alice. Hi, Mrs Cullen," Jasper nods and my mom beams at him. She's always liked Jasper. He has a knack for charming the women in my family. _Not the just the women_ , I remind myself, suppressing a snicker.

"We're working on a Biology project together," I explain. Although Jasper's part of my group of friends we don't usually hang out outside school much – I hope that might change now though.

"Are you boys hungry?" my mom asks. "You're welcome to stay for dinner, Jasper, if you like?"

"That's really kind of you, Mrs Cullen, but my mom will be expecting me back today. Thank you, though."

"Well, help yourself to cookies then," she insists. "I made a batch this morning."

She pulls out a tub of oatmeal raisin cookies and we dig in eagerly. My fingers brush over Jasper's as we reach for the cookies but this time I don't pull back. The contact sends a little thrill through me and I resist the urge to catch his eye and smile.

We sit in the kitchen and chat to Mom and Alice for a bit. The conversation is easy, but I'm very aware of Jasper beside me. We're perched on stools at the kitchen counter and our knees brush occasionally. Every now and then I catch his eye and look away quickly, afraid of giving something away. Alice is watching Jasper intently and I feel a spike of guilt. I know that she's always carried a torch for him. Even if he would never have been interested I can't help feeling a little bad.

Eventually we make our excuses and head back up to my room. As soon as the door closes behind us I want to kiss Jasper again, but am not sure how to initiate it. We go back to our work but this time we sit side by side on the bed, our elbows brushing casually as we turn the pages. When we reach a good stopping point for the day we pack up our work and Jasper flops back against my pillows as I move the pile of books and papers to the desk.

He looks up at me. His eyes are lazy blue slits under hooded lids and I shiver at the hungry look on his face.

He curls his fingers around my wrist and his thumb rubs a small circle on my pulse point. He tugs, his intention clear and I move and sit beside him and he pulls me over him, kissing me hard and deep. I break the kiss to move into a more comfortable position lying alongside him, but then he flips us until he's leaning over me and taking control. I let him, I like it. My dick is hard again and I must be leaking by now. I'll be needing a change of underwear after he's gone home.

Finally he pulls away. His face is flushed and lips are wet and shiny.

"I'm gonna have to go," he says ruefully.

I push a hand into his hair and slide my fingers through the wavy strands. "Okay," I sigh.

"You going to Emmett's party tomorrow?" he asks.

"Yep," I nod.

"Well, I'll see you there." I feel a sudden wave of anxiety at the thought of being with him in front of our friends. He must see it on my face because he frowns. "Are you okay, Edward? About _this_?" he gestures between us with a hand, his meaning clear.

"Yeah," I smile reassuringly. "I really am. It's just going to be weird being with you around other people."

"I know," he says with a small smile. "I'll just want to touch you all the time and I won't be able to... but we'll cope. You get used to it."

"Can you come over here again on Sunday to study?" I ask hopefully and grin in relief when he nods.

"Yeah, sure. That would be cool." He moves off me and stands up.

He collects his books from my desk and packs his bag, then turns to me before we open the bedroom door. He kisses me again, a gentle touch of lips and tongue and then pulls me into a hug. I breathe in the scent of warm skin and Jasper and wrap my arms around him briefly.

"That's enough," I push him away. "Otherwise I'll get hard again and I won't be able to see you out."

He chuckles as I open the door and we make our way downstairs again.

XOXOXOX

After dinner I'm washing up and Alice is drying. I'm zoning out and thinking about kissing Jasper.

"Jasper's great isn't he?" she suddenly says. A moment before she'd been talking about a dress she'd bought that afternoon, the sudden change of topic catches me unawares.

"Yeah, I guess," I reply. She seems to be waiting for me to continue so I scrabble about for something else to say. "He's a good guy, but he's a bit old for you, don't you think?"

She looks at me sharply and there is a glint in her eye that makes me uncomfortable. "I don't think he's interested in _me_ , Edward," her meaning is unmistakeable.

I nearly drop the wine glass that I'm holding. "Huh?" is the best I can manage.

"I saw how he was looking at you, and you were looking at him the same way." I'm completely incapable of speech now. My cheeks are hot and I just keep scrubbing away at the glass even though it's perfectly clean by now. "Edward, it's okay," her voice is soft. "You do know that Mom and Dad wouldn't care, don't you?"

"I don't know what you're talking about." I try not to snap, but am shocked by how perceptive she is.

"It's okay, Edward. I can take a hint. I'll drop the subject now."

She's mercifully quiet as we finish the dishes. But as I dry my hands and turn to leave the kitchen she grabs my elbow and grins at me, her eyes full of mischief.

"Jasper's totally hot. Don't you dare waste it if you have a chance with him!" She stands on tiptoe and presses a kiss to my cheek, then whips past me and flits out of the door, leaving me glaring after her.


	5. Chapter 5

After my exchange with Alice I return to my room and lock the door, looking forward to finally being able to deal with the semi that I've been sporting ever since Jasper left. All the kissing earlier has left me aching for release, but I don't want to rush it now that I have new fuel for my fantasies. I put some music on and turn it up enough that it will drown out any sounds I might make.

I lie on my bed and imagine that Jasper's still here with me. I recall the texture of his hair in my hands and the sensation of his body pressed against mine. I wonder whether he's thinking about me too.

As I put a hand down and trace the hard line of my dick through my jeans, I hope that Jasper might be doing exactly the same thing as me, with thoughts of me in _his_ head.

I unbutton my fly and wriggle out of my jeans, pushing them slowly down my thighs and kicking them aside. I spread my legs slightly and palm my cock through my boxer briefs. I'm so fucking hard it takes all my self control not to grip myself firmly and bring myself off right away. I run my other hand over my abs, pushing my t-shirt up. I slide my hand up to run my fingertips idly over my nipples. They harden under my touch and I imagine that it's not my fingers, but Jasper's tongue tracing their shape and teasing them to hardness.

My breathing quickens and I close my eyes as I finally push my underwear down and wrap my hand around the hot smooth skin. In my head it's Jasper's hand on me and I'm burning with how much I want my fantasy to be real. Maybe soon it will be. My cock is achingly hard and leaking pre-cum. I torment myself with not-quite-hard-enough strokes and bring my other hand down to cup my balls, rolling them carefully in the palm of my hand.

I keep myself teetering on the edge of orgasm for what feels like hours. My eyes are squeezed shut and images of Jasper play through my head. My skin becomes slick with sweat and I'm moaning with each stroke now, giving myself up to the pleasure of my touch. I can't wait much longer so I tighten my grip on my dick and lift my hips rhythmically, fucking the tight clench of my fist and running my thumb over the sensitive head of my cock with each stroke. My body arches uncontrollably and I cry out harshly, the force of my orgasm making my vision white out for a moment. My whole body tenses and quivers as I shoot thick streams of cum onto my abdomen.

I lie, too limp and exhausted to move for a while and run my fingers absently through the mess on my belly. I trace patterns in my jizz as it cools imagining that it's Jasper's release splashed all over me. I bring a finger to my lips and taste the musky salt. I've tasted it before out of curiosity – but this time I'm wondering how it would feel to have Jasper come in my mouth and what it would be like to swallow it.

Finally I muster up enough energy to wipe myself clean and slide under my covers. I don't feel like being sociable, so I decide to watch a movie on my laptop rather than hang out downstairs with my folks. I feel sleepy and sated and don't manage to see the movie through to the end, deciding to have an early night instead. I pull the memories of the afternoon around me like a blanket and fall asleep with a smile on my lips, looking forward to seeing Jasper tomorrow.

XOXOXOX

The McCarty's are away for the whole weekend and Emmett has told us to come over anytime on Saturday afternoon. I drive over around four, warning my parents not to expect me back. If it's anything like Emmett's usual parties, I won't want to be driving anywhere later and there's plenty of space to crash.

By the time I arrive, there are already several cars in the driveway. The door is unlocked, so I let myself in and head towards the sound of music coming from the lower level. The house is on a slope and stairs lead down at the back to a huge den on one side and the indoor pool on the other. From the pool room, enormous glass doors open onto the decking, where there is a hot tub overlooking the sloping garden. It's mild for the time of year and no doubt Emmett will have the hot tub turned up to tropical. There are several outdoor heaters on the deck, which will keep us all from freezing when it gets colder later on.

"Hey, man!" Emmett greets me with his wide smile and a slap on the back. "Grab yourself a drink and chill."

There is a well stocked fridge in the den and an impressive array of spirits out on the bar. I start with beer and resolve to try and stick to it. I don't want to drink too much. I'm already worried about being around Jasper in public. Yesterday changed everything and I know it's going to be hard to pretend that nothing's going on between us.

I scout around the room for Jasper but there's no sign of him yet. I find Mike and Tyler out on the decking and settle down to chat with them for a while as the party gradually gears up around us.

After a couple of hours I'm feeling twitchy despite the few beers inside me. I try not to fidget and resist the urge to keep checking the room to see if Jasper's arrived yet. I'm hanging out with Angela, Bella, and Bella's new boyfriend, Jake. Jake's trying to persuade Bella to go in the hot tub and we're teasing her for her typical reluctance.

"Maybe later," she grins and shrugs. "You know what I'm like."

"Honestly Bella, you look totally hot in a bikini, you have nothing to worry about!" says Angela reassuringly.

"That's not the point," Bella sighs, exasperated. "I just don't like people looking, you know?"

She breaks off and smiles over my shoulder and I tense as I hear the familiar sound of Jasper's voice behind me.

"Hey guys, how're you doing?" he greets us casually. His eyes flick to mine and hold my gaze just for a second and his lips curve in an easy smile.

I do my best to grin casually and lift a hand in greeting. He looks gorgeous, dressed simply in faded indigo jeans and a white button down that accentuates the golden tone of his skin. His hair is a wavy mess as usual and my fingers itch to touch it.

Jasper gets a drink and sits down with our group and joins in the conversation. He's on the chair to my right and I'm achingly aware of the space between us. I want to move closer so our knees can brush but I know I can't. I stop myself from staring at him by deliberately keeping my eyes on the others as they talk, even though I'm barely following the conversation. The noise level is increasing steadily as the room fills up.

It's dark outside now, the lights in the room are dim and I'm feeling pleasantly buzzed from the beers I've drunk. Someone has turned the music up and Jasper says something to me, but I can't hear him over the background noise. Finally I have an excuse to lean closer to him, so I do. His hair just barely skims my cheek and I catch his warm, clean scent as he speaks.

"You still okay to work on our project tomorrow?" his breath is warm on my ear.

"Sure thing," I reply, my lips tantalizingly close to his cheek. "Looking forward to it."

He pulls back and I miss the fleeting contact. This is so incredibly hard. I watch Bella snuggling close to Jake on the sofa, her hand on his knee and I'm shot through with envy. I want to be able to touch Jasper that way. I get to my feet, needing to put some space between us for a while.

"I'm going out to get some air," I say and he catches my eye and smiles quickly, I hope that he understands why I need to get away for a bit.

I grab another beer and head out onto the deck. It's cold outside and the sky is clear. Emmett is in the hot tub along with Rose and Mike. The steam rises in slow hypnotic curls from the surface of the water. It looks inviting.

"You coming in, Ed?" Mike asks with a grin. "Save me from playing third wheel?"

Why not? I think. It will pass the time for a while. I go back in the house and change into my swim shorts in the bathroom. When I come out Jasper is waiting in the corridor. His eyes roam over my torso for a moment before he looks back up, meeting my eyes.

"Fuck, Edward," he whispers and moves a step closer, his lips parting.

I know that he's about to kiss me and I'm going to let him, but suddenly there is a burst of shrill laughter and we spring apart as Lauren and Jessica come barreling around the corner.

"Oh hey, Edward," Jessica looks at me approvingly. "I see you're on your way to the tub too. We're just going to change."

"Are you coming too?" Lauren smiles up at Jasper and runs a predatory finger down his chest. I clench my fists involuntarily and avoid his eye.

"I guess so," he replies smoothly, flirting back. "I don't want Edward to have both of you all to himself now do I?"

They giggle and squeeze past us into the bathroom. Jasper looks at me and I grimace.

"I think you need protecting from Jessica," he grins. "I'll be along in a minute."

He reaches out and squeezes my ass as I pass him and I spin round and glare at him.

"Sorry, couldn't resist." His face is a picture of innocence. _I'm so fucked_.

Ten minutes later I'm in the hot tub flanked by Lauren and Jessica. Mike is still there, along with Emmett and Rose and it's feeling rather full already when Jasper finally shows. He's wearing bright turquoise swim shorts and looks like he's just stepped off a beach modeling shoot. With his surfer dude looks he's just made for swim shorts and his body is lithe and toned and mostly smooth. There is the slightest dusting of blond hair on his chest which is only visible when the light catches it. Below his belly button there is a thicker, slightly darker line that draws the eye down his flat belly to where his shorts sit low on his lean hips. I feel my dick start to fill and am glad that the pool is bubbling furiously. Luckily nothing is visible below the surface of the water.

I realize that I'm staring and tear my eyes away as he approaches. He hops into the tub and squeezes himself between me and Lauren, who grins from ear to ear. But I know that she's not the person that he's interested in sitting next to. If she wasn't such a bitch I'd feel sorry for her, but she's really not a nice person, so I don't.

Jessica is chattering away to me on my right and I really try and listen to her but have limited success. Lauren is monopolizing Jasper's attention and he puts on a great show of being interested, leaning in and smiling at her as she talks. She keeps touching him and it bugs the crap out of me even though I know I shouldn't care. I know that he isn't interested in her, in any girls, but I can't help feeling uncomfortable. But then suddenly Lauren is the last thing on my mind when I feel Jasper's hand curl around my thigh.

I nearly choke on my beer and cover it with a cough. I want to turn and look at him but I don't dare meet his eyes. My dick is throbbing in my shorts, but my left hand is holding my beer and my right arm is stretched along the back of the tub behind Jessica's head. I don't want to move and risk drawing any attention to myself, so I just take another swig of beer and keep my eyes fixed on Jessica as she talks away at me. I see her lips move but have no idea what the fuck she's saying. The only thing that I'm aware of is the slow, relentless slide of Jasper's fingers as they move up my thigh until his hand is lying alongside my achingly hard erection, which is trapped in the crease where my leg meets my body.

I sneak a sidelong glance at Jasper and he's laughing at something Lauren has said. He tilts his head back and drinks from his bottle and his throat bobs as he swallows. Lauren leans in towards him and whispers in his ear and her hand slides across his chest. I stare at her horrible pink talons as they almost skim his nipple and I feel sick and shaky with sudden anger. If I touched him like that in front our friends, everyone would freak out but she's allowed to do it and he doesn't even want her.

I must have been mad thinking I could do this, thinking that I could be around Jasper and watch girls pawing at him and act as if nothing's going on. I can't do it – I can't do this. I watch in horror as her hand dips below the surface of the water. She obviously feels something that she likes because her eyes light up and she leans in even closer.

"Mmm, Jazzy, it's so hot that you're hard for me," she murmurs, sounding like a tacky porn star. Subtle she isn't.

The injustice that she can grope Jasper in public and no one bats an eyelid makes me mad, but has the welcome benefit of dampening my libido temporarily so I can get away. I stand up suddenly and the water cascades off me as I climb out of the tub. Jessica is staring at me with a frown, her mouth hanging open – she's probably still mid sentence.

"Sorry, I gotta go to the bathroom," I mutter, avoiding Jasper's eyes and grab a towel to wrap around my waist as I make my escape.

I go up the stairs, wanting to get away from the crowds. The music is still pounding and my head is fuzzy from the alcohol. I go up another flight and another and finally reach the top floor. It's quiet and dark up here, lit only by the soft light filtering from the floor below. My feet sink into the plush carpet as I pad along the landing.

I don't know where I am, Emmett's room is on the floor below and I've never been up here before. But I'm alone and that's enough for me. I lean on the wall and sink down to sit on the carpet with my legs folded up. I cross my arms on my knees and rest my head on them wearily. I just want to go home, but I'm drunk and I can't drive now so I'm stuck here.

I'm not sure how long I sit there, but I lift my head when I hear someone coming up the stairs. I stand, feeling awkward, not wanting to be caught having an emo freak-out on the McCarty's upstairs landing. I turn and move back towards the stairs but stop in my tracks when I see Jasper standing in front of me.

He's dressed only in his swim shorts and is dripping wet. The beads of water on his body sparkle in the dim light. I can't see his expression but my heart pounds in my chest as he moves closer.

"Hey," he says, stopping just in front of me, close enough to touch.

"Hey," I reply, not quite daring to be the first to reach out.

"So… I escaped from Lauren," he says conversationally.

"So I see," I chuckle, despite my earlier anger. Now that I'm alone with him it seems unimportant.

"I didn't want her to get the wrong idea," he lifts a hand and places it flat on my chest. His palm is warm but I shiver at the contact. "She thought I had a boner because of her… but we both know that's not true, don't we?" His teeth catch the light and gleam as he smiles.

"You weren't the only one with a boner, you fucker!" I growl at him, only half-joking. "What the hell were you trying to do to me?"

He laughs aloud, "I'm sorry, Ed. It was just too tempting." He steps closer and his voice is low and dirty as he murmurs in my ear. "But now I want more."

Suddenly his hands are all over me and he's pushing me back against the wall and I'm letting him do it, desperate for his hands on me. His lips are on my neck, sucking and biting. His fingers are teasing one of my nipples, as his other hand slides down and cups my erection through my shorts. I groan and my head thuds back against the wall as his thumb brushes the head of my cock.

" _Fuck, Edward… want you so much… need to touch you..._ " he mutters, licking my collarbones with a hot insistent tongue.

"Not here!" I gasp, the last shreds of my common sense enabling me to grab him by his wrists and pull him along the landing. We try the first door that we reach and hit the jackpot. It looks like a spare room, tidy and empty of personal clutter. We stumble inside and I manage to close and lock the door behind us before his lips find mine.


	6. Chapter 6

Jasper's body is cool and damp, but his mouth is hot and urgent. I part my lips, letting his tongue explore my mouth and kiss him back hungrily. I run my hands over his body, exploring the hard planes and feeling his strength as he moves against me. It's so different from having a girl under my hands, it thrills me and I'm amazed by how much I want him. I feel like I would do anything to have him touch me.

He palms my cock through my shorts again and I groan at the contact, pushing my hips eagerly into his hand.

"God, Edward," he hisses against my lips, bringing both hands to fumble with the tie on my shorts. "Is this okay?"

I laugh in disbelief at the question. "So help me, Jasper. If you don't touch my dick – _right the fuck now,_ I'm going to come in my shorts before you get your hand round me!"

He laughs too, his breath huffing against the skin of my shoulder. "I'll take that as a yes then. Come on then, I wanna be horizontal for this."

He pulls me over to the bed and pushes me down on the covers. He stands over me for a moment and I wonder what he's waiting for, but then I realize that he's opening his shorts and pushing them down. My mouth goes dry as I see his cock spring free. It's too dark to see details in the dim light filtering through the window, but I can see the shape of him. He's hard and beautiful and my heart feels like it's beating right out of my chest.

"That's better," he murmurs.

He crawls over me and his strong hands are at my waist, easing the wet fabric down over my hips and he's smiling as he does it. I kick the shorts off and am naked under him. He lowers himself over my body. I can feel his cock digging into my belly and sliding against mine as he kisses me hard. It's amazing and incredible and not enough all at the same time. I squeeze his shoulders with desperate fingers and trail my hands down the slope of his back to clutch at his hips.

I push him over impatiently and settle on my side, facing him. "Please!" I take his hand and pull it down to my dick, then move my hand to touch his too. The dual sensations of his hot flesh sliding through my grip and the feeling of his fingers curling around me, nearly make me fall apart straight away. Our cocks are wet and slippery with want and we press our foreheads together, too breathless to kiss, as our knuckles bump each other's while we search for a rhythm.

It's awkward, imperfect and wonderful, and it doesn't last nearly long enough, but I can't wait and it seems I'm not the only one. Jasper is murmuring things that don't help at all – like how much he fucking wants me, how amazing my dick feels in his hand and how he wants to suck it next time – and I'm done for. My body arches helplessly and I buck my hips, pushing into his hand as my orgasm crashes through me. I feel Jasper's cock pulse in my hand and realize that he's coming too and that makes my dick throb again, pushing out the last drops of my release as I bury my face into the crook of his shoulder and press my teeth into his skin.

Jasper flips us over again so that he's on top and puts his hand up to his mouth, licking it clean.

"Don't move," he says and jumps up, moving swiftly to the adjoining bathroom and returning with tissues.

He puts the bedside light on and we manage a just about adequate clean up. The bedcover seems to have survived.

"Quick thinking," I grin, impressed at his presence of mind.

"Yeah, well," he smirks back as we stretch back out on the bed together. "I didn't want to leave any evidence."

I pull him towards me and we kiss lazily for a while, running our hands over each other's bodies, exploring and discovering. Soon we're both hard again, but eventually Jasper props himself up on one elbow and looks down at me ruefully.

"Much as I'd like to carry on doing this all night, someone's gonna notice we're missing soon."

I know he's right but I sigh anyway. "I don't want to go back downstairs."

"I know, but we have to. And we'll get some time together at yours tomorrow."

I nod, cheering up a little at the prospect. "Okay."

We reluctantly slide off the bed and retrieve our wet shorts, wriggling back into them and wincing at the discomfort. We kiss each other one more time, before carefully opening the door and checking that the coast is clear. He goes first and I wait a few minutes before following.

I find my clothes and get dressed again. Being half naked around Jasper again this evening seems unwise. I notice that he's dressed now too and suppress a grin, wondering if his thoughts are running along the same lines as mine. I deliberately don't go over and talk to him, knowing that it will be easier if we can avoid being too close to each other for the rest of the night. I get another beer, but sip it slowly. I've sobered up a bit and want to stay that way, alcohol makes me careless and I don't want to slip up and give our secret away.

I spend the rest of the night evading the clutches of Jessica, who clearly didn't get the hint earlier. I notice that Jasper is having similar trouble with Lauren. She's very handsy when she's been drinking but at least he has a layer of clothes on to protect him now. At one point I notice her touching his ass and I grind my teeth in annoyance. He catches my eye just for a second and his lips quirk slightly as he rolls his eyes at me.

A little later my phone buzzes in my pocket and I pull it out to see that Jasper has texted me.

 _The only person I want to grab my ass is you ;)_

I suppress a delighted grin and text back quickly.

 _I wanna grab more than your ass :D_

The reply comes back almost immediately: _Tomorrow xx_

XOXOXOXOX

By two in the morning I'm ready to crash, but the party is still in full swing downstairs. All the bedrooms are already taken by couples – couples who aren't afraid of people knowing about them – I think bitterly. I scout around the house to find a place to sleep and end up in Mr McCarty's office. The room is empty and the carpet is thick enough. I find some blankets in a cupboard on the landing and make myself comfortable.

I'm just dozing off when the door creaks open. I lift my head and see Jasper silhouetted against the light in the hallway.

"Ed, is that you?" he whispers.

"Yeah," I mumble, rubbing my eyes.

He comes in and closes the door and sits on the floor beside my makeshift bed. "Is anyone else in here? I can't see."

"Nope, just me."

"Good," he lies down beside me, "move over then. I'm hiding from Lauren, she's very persistent."

I chuckle. "I'm glad you escaped."

He snuggles in, stealing more than his share of the blankets and I yelp as freezing cold bare feet brush against mine.

"Sorry," he murmurs and wraps himself around me, burying his face in my neck. "Mm, you smell good."

"Jasper, we can't… what if…?" he cuts me off with a kiss.

"Shh, it's okay," he reassures me. "I won't stay long; I just wanted to see you. I'll find somewhere else to sleep."

"I wish you didn't have to," I whisper, rubbing my lips along the stubble on his jaw.

"I know," he sounds as wistful as I feel.

We curl around each other for a long time, trading lazy kisses and letting our hands wander, seeking out bare skin to touch. It's slow and languid and totally different from the impatient heat of earlier but I can feel the need between us grow and strengthen again in a steady build of pressure. Jasper pulls away with a sigh of frustration before we get to the point of no return.

"Right," he says regretfully. "I'm getting out of here before one or both of us gets jizz on Mr McCarty's carpet."

"Probably wise," I grin in the darkness. We'd definitely been heading that way. "See you in the morning," I steal a last kiss before he leaves.

I'm cold after he's gone, but pull the blankets up and curl around myself until I'm warm enough to sleep. I don't wake until it's light outside and the sun is already high in the sky.

XOXOXOXOX

I stumble downstairs to the kitchen, yawning and running a hand through my hair. It's sticking up all over the place from having Jasper's hands in it, but my hair's always a mess, so I doubt anyone will think it's any worse than usual.

I find Emmett, Rose and several other party survivors lounging around in various states of hangover. I forage in the cupboards for something to take the edge off my appetite. I pour cereal into a bowl and am getting the milk from the fridge when I hear Jasper come in.

"Morning all," he drawls.

He sounds wrecked, his voice is hoarse and it goes straight to my dick. He looks rough around the edges but it suits him. His blue eyes are shadowed and his lips are flushed and slightly swollen. I guess mine probably look the same. It feels like we spent half the night kissing. That thought makes me move quickly to sit at the counter so I can hide my erection before anyone notices it.

We hang around at Emmett's for a while, helping him clear up. I don't speak to Jasper alone but every time I catch his eyes on me I feel a glow of warmth flare in my chest. I can't wait to have him all to myself again.

He leaves before me and catches me in the kitchen while I'm washing up glasses. Rose is drying.

"So… what time will you be ready to hit the Bio project for Mr Banner this afternoon?" he asks me casually.

"How about you come over in the afternoon?" I reply. The sooner the better would be good with me, but I need to shower off the sticky traces of last night's activities and I'm sure he does too. "Say, two, two-thirty?"

"Cool, see you later, man. Bye Rosie!"

"Don't call me that!" she snaps and flicks at him with the dish towel.

He jumps out of the way with a chuckle and winks at me as he scoots out of the door.

XOXOXOXOX

When I finally get home it's nearly lunchtime. I'm starving again; late nights and alcohol always give me an appetite the next day. I join my mom and Alice in the kitchen and we eat together. My dad is working today and won't be home until the evening.

"So how was the party?" my mom asks.

"Yeah… it was okay, Emmett always throws a good one," I reply.

"I hope you cleaned up for the Mc Carty's," she frowns, "I know what you teenagers are like."

"It's cool, Mom," I grin at her, "we're not that bad! We left it as we found it."

She looks skeptical but doesn't press me. "So what are you up to today?"

"Jasper's coming over to work on our project this afternoon," I say casually. Alice's brown eyes flick up at that and she grins at me. I glare at her covertly while Mom isn't looking. "How about you guys?"

"I'm not sure," my mom says thoughtfully. She turns to address Alice. "Do you have any plans, Sweetie?"

"Actually, I was wondering if you fancied going to the spa." Alice replies smoothly, her face innocent. "I thought we could have a girls' afternoon, gym and swim and maybe even see if we can book a facial or a manicure?"

Sometimes I love my little sister. I bite my lip to hide a smile.

"Oh that sounds just lovely!" My mom claps her hands together. "Let's do that, and leave the boys to work in peace."

XOXOXOXOX

When Jasper turns up – at two o'clock exactly I notice happily – Alice and my mom are on their way out.

"Hi, ladies," Jasper greets them as they pass him in the hallway.

"Oh hello, Jasper dear," my mom smiles warmly at him. "It's lovely to see you again."

"Hey, Jasper," Alice smirks at him and wiggles her eyebrows at me over Mom's shoulder.

"See you later, boys," my mom says. "I hope you manage to get lots done. We'll be back in a few hours."

The door closes behind them and we're alone. Jasper looks at me and raises his eyebrows.

"Is it my imagination, or does Alice…?"

"Yes, she knows," I reply with a shrug. "I mean – she doesn't know details, but she worked out that there's something between us."

He looks at me intently. "And you're not freaking out… because?"

"Because I trust her not to say anything," I reassure him. "Really. She's annoyingly perceptive but utterly trustworthy."

He seems to accept this. "So, we have a few hours to ourselves then?" He grins wickedly at me and gestures towards the stairs. I flush lightly and smile back, then turn and lead the way up to my room.

We don't even get our books out. There's all afternoon and the work can wait. We shed our clothes quickly, wanting to feel skin on skin. As each new expanse of flesh is revealed we run our hands over each other.

"Seriously, Edward," Jasper chuckles, sliding a hand over my pale chest. "Have you ever _seen_ the sun?"

"Yeah well, it doesn't come out a lot in Forks." I shut him up by leaning down and flicking my tongue over a nipple. It works pretty effectively.

We're down to our underwear when he falls back on the bed, pulling me on top of him. His hands slide under the waistband at the back of my briefs and his palms graze over my ass cheeks. I press our hips together, grinding my erection against his. He rolls me over and straddles my legs, kissing and licking his way across and down my chest and abdomen as I slip my fingers into his hair and try to be patient.

"Fuck, you're gorgeous," he murmurs. "I can't wait to taste your cock."

When he reaches my underwear he slides his tongue tantalizingly along the top edge, back and forth, tickling the line of hair below my navel with each pass until I moan and clench my fingers in his hair. Jasper lifts his head and meets my frustrated gaze, grinning wickedly. Painfully slowly he inches my underwear down, lifting it carefully over my swollen cock. He shifts so he can slide my briefs down my legs and remove them. Then he pushes my legs apart, making me feel suddenly very exposed but unbearably excited, and moves to kneel between them. He leans over my cock and supports his weight on his hands.

"Beautiful," he whispers as he lowers his head.

The breath that I've been holding is released in a gasp as he licks a stripe from my balls to the head of my dick. He repeats the action and my hands twist into the bedcovers. I don't dare put them back in his hair, I'm afraid that I'll hurt him. He keeps licking at my cock like that, until I cry out and push my hips up, desperate for more. Then he slips his hand round me and grips the base of my dick, he pumps it a few times and then finally lowers his mouth over the head.

 _Fuck._ Jasper is apparently a genius at giving head. When Bella did it, it was kind of gentle and tentative. It was nice and it made me cum, but this is on a whole different scale of awesomeness. His lips and tongue work the head of my cock, swirling and dipping in to my slit and teasing the sensitive underside. I feel his other hand slide up my thigh and his fingers massage my balls and press at the skin behind them until feel the heat uncurling in my belly.

" _I'm close…_ " I gasp out, wanting to warn him.

Jasper sucks harder, taking me deep and swallowing as my cock pulses against his tongue. He pulls off and strokes me, gently licking the last drops from the head of my dick as I come back down to earth.

He grins up at me through a tangle of blond hair as he wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. "Good, huh?" he looks a little smug.

"Not bad," I try to kid, but my voice is rough and I know I'm not fooling anyone. "C 'mere," I reach for him and pull him down beside me. I look down, his cock is tenting his underwear and there is a visible damp patch at the head. It makes my mouth water a little. I lick my lips nervously.

"You don't have to…" he begins, but I kiss him to make him stop talking.

"I want to," I say firmly, as I pull back and move down his body to return the favor.

I take my time, discovering the texture of his cock with my fingers and enjoying the musky scent of him before I use my mouth. He's patient, propped up on his elbows watching me as I find out how to make his breathing hitch and his fingers clench. His cock is fascinating to me, different from my own in subtle ways that intrigue me. I tease him with my hands until his cock is leaking and his breathing is harsh and then neither of us can wait any longer.

He tastes salty and musky and it's weird but okay. The sounds that he makes as I lick around the head of his dick make me get hard again. I think that sometime it would be fun to do this for each other at the same time, but for now I focus on making him feel good. I suck him as deep as I can manage. It's not as deep as he took me but I guess it takes practice. He seems to like it anyway if the insistent tugging of his hands in my hair and his increasingly loud moans of ' _oh fuck'_ and ' _yes'_ are anything to go by. I feel the muscles tensing in his thighs as he tries to resist thrusting up. I hold his hips down just in case.

He warns me when he's about to cum and I keep him in my mouth, holding his jizz there until he's finished. I pull off before I swallow, and only grimace a little bit.

"You get used to it," he grins.

I smile back, feeling kind of proud of myself. I crawl back up and lie next to him, my dick pokes him in the hip.

"Eager, much?" Jasper looks down and smirks.

"I'm eighteen years old and you're hot as hell," I reply. "What do you expect?"


	7. Chapter 7

When Monday morning comes I'm feeling anxious and jittery. After everything that's happened with Jasper over the weekend, I'm desperate to see him but worried about slipping up and giving us away. Our relationship has changed so irrevocably I can't remember how things were between us before all of this. I don't know how to talk to him when other people are around or how much eye contact is appropriate in public. I wonder how anyone ever manages to keep a relationship a secret, Deception certainly doesn't come naturally to me.

We haven't made firm plans about when we're going to get together next but I hope it will be soon. I need to see him. I need the reassurance that he wants this as much as I do. When I'm with him I'm sure he feels the same, but as soon as we're apart I start to worry that he's just fooling around. I already know that it's way more than that for me, even though it's only been a few days. I've never been one for casual hook-ups; it's not really in my nature. The feelings that Jasper inspires in me are intense. I get the feeling that it's the same for him but it's hard to be sure. I certainly hope it is.

I don't see Jasper until our History class. He's already in his seat when I arrive and I have to pass close by him to get to my table. My mouth is dry as my eyes flicker over the width of his shoulders and take in the way his hair curls on his collar. He turns and flashes me a quick grin as I pass him, my lips quirk nervously in response. I have to fight the impulse to grin like an idiot at the mere sight of him.

I slide into my seat and can feel his gaze on me like heat from the sun. My phone vibrates in my pocket a few moments later and I pull it out and study the message surreptitiously. Unsurprisingly it's from Jasper.

 _So given that we got no studying done yesterday (not that I'm complaining) when can u meet to do the project next?_

I smirk as I type my reply. It's true, yesterday was a bit of a write off as far as the Bio project went. We really need to get on with it though, as we only have till the end of the week.

 _Tomorrow? Can't do today, have math homework I have to get done tonight_

Jasper's reply comes back quickly. _OK, tomorrow will do. I'll miss u today tho_

I try not to grin too widely as I read. _Me too_ , I reply.

XOXOXOXOX

We manage to get through lunch break without mishap. I deliberately avoid sitting next to him or opposite him which helps matters a little. Removing the temptation to touch him accidentally-on-purpose or stare at him while he eats definitely makes the whole experience less stressful.

I'm dreading gym class last period. The sight of Jasper in the locker room is going to be sweet torture. I rush to get there early and change quickly. I'm relieved when I manage to be out in the gym before he's put in an appearance.

I avoid looking at him as much as possible and focus on the volleyball game. He's on the opposing team so I don't have to worry about running into him. I volunteer to put the equipment away again, hoping to buy some time so I can shower and change alone. When I see Jasper put up his hand to help too I resist the urge to glare at him as we take down the net and put it in the storage cupboard under the watchful eye of the coach.

By the time we make it through to the locker rooms, most of the other guys are out of the showers already. I pick the end shower and face the wall, determinedly avoiding looking at Jasper. It would be too dangerous; I know that if I see him naked I'll be hard within seconds. I make myself think very unsexy thoughts as I soap and rinse and keep my eyes firmly closed as much as possible.

Jasper is still showering when I've finished and I have to pass him to get back to the locker room. I glance at the water and suds sliding down his back and curse myself for looking. The movement of his muscles as he scrubs his hair is fascinating and want hits me like a punch in the gut. I tighten my towel around my waist and will my dick to behave and my feet to keep walking.

I get dressed as fast as I can. Jasper seems to be taking his time. The other guys are gone by the time I'm pulling up my pants and when Jasper finally saunters through, dripping wet, he grins openly at me. I stare at him and my hands freeze on my half fastened zipper, eyes drawn to the droplets of water that cling to his smooth skin, the skin that has been traced by my lips and tongue. My gaze drops to the tent in his towel and I half laugh, half groan.

"Fuck, I'm never gonna be able to do my pants up now."

Jasper's laughter is a warm sound that echoes around us. "Well you won't hear me complaining."

He moves closer and I forget to breathe, then his lips are on mine and he pulls me close. I feel his erection against mine and I want him so fucking much – but doing anything here would be a spectacularly bad idea. I pull back regretfully and he sighs in frustration.

"Tomorrow," I say, squeezing his ass lightly. "Your place or mine?"

"How about mine?" he suggests, as he pulls off his towel and starts to rub himself dry. My eyes drop automatically to his cock which bobs, hard and heavy as he moves. "Mom and Dad will be at work till late. Rose might be there though but we can hang out in my room. She never bothers me." He grins meaningfully at me as I drag my eyes back to his face.

"Yeah, sure," I manage weakly. This boy is going to be the death of me.

Once we're both fully dressed, I can't resist grabbing Jasper for a quick make out session. It seems less risky now that we have our clothes on. I move close and put my hands on his shoulders. His eyes darken as he realizes my intention. I keep my eyes open as our lips and tongues slide together and watch his lashes flutter on his cheeks. He's so fucking beautiful. I slide one hand across his jaw and into his hair as my other hand slips down over his chest, flicking at a nipple through his t-shirt. He hums into my mouth and his hands find my hips and grip them tight.

We part reluctantly, smiling into each other's eyes, cheeks flushed and lips wet from our kisses.

We walk to the parking lot together without touching again and my heart tugs as I watch him drive away.

XOXOXOXOX

That evening I manage to catch up on some homework. I've let things slide over the weekend for obvious reasons but I can't afford to get behind. We have exams coming up after the holidays.

Alice catches me on my own in the kitchen, grabbing a snack before I head up to bed and approaches me with a smirk.

"So did you and Jasper have a good time yesterday?" I blush and nearly choke on the cracker I'm eating. "I guess that's a yes then?" she grins.

"Um… yeah. I suppose," my face is hot and she takes pity on me and my obvious discomfort.

"It's okay, Edward," she giggles, "I don't need details or anything."

"Good!" I snort. "Because you're not going to get them." I pause and smile at her. "But thanks. I owe you one."

"Are you going to tell Mom and Dad?" she asks, serious now.

I shrug in reply. I honestly haven't thought about it yet but guess I'm going to have to start considering these things. "Not yet."

"They'll be cool," she says. "We're lucky; they just want us to be happy."

I nod, knowing that she's right. "It's not serious, Alice. There's no rush."

"You really like him though," her eyes are serious and it's a statement, not a question. "I can tell."

I flush again and can't suppress a goofy smile. "Yeah, I do."

She smiles. "Night, Edward." I watch her leave the room and thank my lucky stars that I have the family I do.

XOXOXOXOX

Tuesday brings the sweet torture of Biology with Jasper. I'm itching to touch him throughout the lesson and occasionally he dares to shoot me a look that tells me he's feeling exactly the same. I have an uncomfortable boner the entire lesson and wonder whether Jasper's suffering too.

I have a free period before lunch and am in the library working on an essay when my phone buzzes. I nearly fall off my chair when I read the message.

 _I was so hard after bio I had to jack off in the bathroom, couldn't wait till this afternoon_

 _Well fuck!_ I'm immediately assaulted with visual images of Jasper beating off in a cubicle and my dick throbs. I type with shaky fingers. _Thanks, that really isn't helping my little post bio problem one bit_

 _I highly recommend my solution. Go on, I dare you_

Jasper's solution feels pretty imperative at this point. The thought of getting through the day without any relief isn't appealing. Plus if I don't bring myself off now, I'll cum embarrassingly quickly this afternoon when I finally get to be with Jasper again.

I pack my books up quickly and head out of the library, thankful that I'm wearing a shirt that just about covers the bulge in my jeans. I head straight for the nearest bathroom, which is happily deserted. I lock myself in a cubicle and fumble impatiently with my clothes, shoving my pants and briefs around my thighs. I lean against the wall and let out a long shaky breath of relief when my hand wraps around my aching cock. I bring myself off quickly and silently. Imagining Jasper doing the same thing, tips me over the edge and I have to bite my lip to stop myself moaning when my dick spurts, hot and sticky over my fingers. I catch most of it on my hand and wipe myself down with toilet paper before tucking my junk away and catching my breath.

As I wash my hands I catch sight of my reflection in the mirrors. My green eyes stand out starkly in my pale face but my cheeks are flushed with hectic color. I splash my face with cold water and run my hands through my spiky mess of hair.

Just before I head into the lunch hall to find my friends I pull out my phone in the corridor outside and send Jasper a text.

 _Yep, I feel much better now, thanks for the tip_

When I reach the table he's there with his phone in his hand. His head whips up at my approach and I hold his gaze for just a fraction longer than I know I should. He looks away quickly and I suppress a smirk. _You're not the only one who can accept a dare, Mr Hale_ , I think to myself.

XOXOXOXOX

By the time we drive over to Jasper's house I'm totally hyped up again. My teenage hormones seem to be in constant overdrive now that I've found an outlet for them. When I pull up behind Jasper's car, I'm already half hard in anticipation. Rose's car isn't there, I notice with relief.

Tension vibrates between us as he opens the front door. As soon as Jasper pulls it closed, he grabs me and pushes me up against the wall. He kisses me – hot, wet and demanding and I respond eagerly. He slides his mouth down to my neck and nips and sucks making me hiss and arch into him.

"Fuck, Ed... that text at lunch," he growls against my skin between bites, "so fucking hot." He tears his lips from my throat and grabs my hand, pulling me roughly. "Upstairs, now!" I shiver at the demanding tone and allow myself to be dragged along. I would probably do pretty much anything for him when he uses that voice.

We close and lock the door behind us and he releases my wrist from his grip and moves to put some music on. "Just in case Rose comes home," he explains.

I nod, keeping my eyes fixed on him, waiting to see what he'll do next. I can feel the need practically rolling off him in waves. Until now Jasper has always been patient and careful with me. But there is a desperate edge to him today that I haven't seen before. The knowledge that I can do this to him sends a hot spike of desire through me.

He moves towards me and his eyes are dark, pupils blown wide. "Will you show me?" his voice is urgent and needy. My heart pounds as I raise my eyebrows questioningly. I think I know exactly what he means but I want to hear him say the words. He licks his lips and continues. "Show me how you touch yourself... I wanna see."

" _Fuck_ ," I whisper, "okay." I kick off my shoes and sit on his bed, leaning back against the headboard. He crawls between my legs and kneels there, waiting, his eyes watching intently as I unbutton my fly. I remember that day on the bus and want to put on a show for him, so I take my time. I stroke myself through the fabric first, before slowly lifting my hips and easing my jeans down my hips. I sit up and peel off my t-shirt and lie back again, idly teasing a nipple with one hand while I palm my cock through my briefs. Jasper doesn't know where to look. His eyes flit between my hands as I watch his reactions and feel my cock getting harder under my touch.

" _God_ ," he moans. "I need to see you." He's rubbing at his own dick now through his jeans and I feel wetness bloom under my thumb as I caress the head of my cock through my underwear. I lift my hips again and push my briefs down. He reaches to help and together we slide off the rest of my clothes and I kick them aside.

He settles back between my legs and continues to watch as I start to work my cock in earnest now. I feel exposed and vulnerable, but am too turned on to care and the expression on his face makes any residual embarrassment worth it. His jaw is slack, mouth slightly open as he watches me. I can hear his ragged breathing and his dick looks as if it's about to burst out of his pants.

"I want to see you too," I gasp. I'm close already, so I slow my strokes as I watch him strip for me. He moves back between my thighs and leans forward to kiss me. Our hands bump together as we stroke ourselves, before we pull apart again, both needing to see the other.

He kneels over me and I try to time my strokes with his until we're sliding our hands rhythmically, our movements gradually getting faster and more urgent.

"God, Edward," Jasper murmurs huskily, "watching you is so fucking hot… I'm not gonna take long."

I can only manage a gaspy moan in reply. Watching Jasper is _totally_ hot and I'm going to cum soon. His strong hand grips his shaft tighter and he runs his thumb over the head of his dick with each stroke. I mirror his movements and feel the tension build inside me.

"Oh, _fuck_ …" he lets out a strangled cry and leans forward over me as he comes, shooting hot pale streams that paint my hand, cock and belly. I feel the slick slide of his jizz on me as I pull faster, desperate now. The sensation brings me to the edge. My balls tighten as my dick pulses in my hand and we both watch as I cum too, looking down at our release mingling on my body.

"Jesus," Jasper gasps shakily when I'm finally done. "That was... _fuck_!"

I chuckle, "yeah, it was."

We clean up with tissues and I grimace as I struggle to get the mess out of my pubes.

"Next time you can be the one who gets all the jizz on them," I grumble.

"I would suggest you have a shower," Jasper grins sympathetically, "but if Rose comes home it might look a bit suspicious."

"Yeah, I guess. I'll just have to be sticky till later." I lean over and kiss him. "It's totally worth it anyway."

We get dressed and resolve to keep our hands to ourselves for a while so we can get some proper work done at last.

We manage surprisingly well and are able focus on the project for a couple of hours now that our libidos have been satisfied, at least temporarily. I'm impressed with how much headway we actually make. The deadline for the project is this Friday and it should be manageable now. We'll need to work on it for the next two days after school but it shouldn't be a problem getting it finished. Having to meet up for two more study session is hardly a hardship.

I wonder how we'll manage to spend time together once the project is over, but don't want to bring the subject up yet. I guess we'll work it out somehow but I feel a pang of anxiety at the thought of not being able to see Jasper so often.

I'm interrupted by a balled up piece of paper bouncing off my shoulder and realize Jasper's talking to me. "Wake up, you're miles away."

"Yeah, sorry," I grin apologetically, "my mind kind of wandered there for a minute."

"You okay?" he asks carefully. "You were looking kinda frowny."

I decide to be honest. "Yeah, I guess. I was just thinking that it's going to be harder to see each other once this project is over."

"We'll work it out." He looks at me seriously and the warmth in his eyes makes me feel a little breathless. He continues, stumbling over his words a little. "I mean… we haven't really talked about what's going on with us yet. But you should know that I really like you, and I wanna keep on seeing you somehow… if that's okay with you?" He's looking down now, fiddling with a loose thread on the bedcover and his cheeks are pink. I've never seen Jasper looking so unsure of himself, it's kind of adorable.

I sidle closer to him until we're side by side and our knees bump. I take his hand, lacing our fingers together. "That's totally okay with me," I say and grin at him, happiness swelling in my chest as I see a matching smile spread across his face.

"Awesome," he replies. And then we're kissing again and it's all hands and mouths and tangled limbs and our project work gets a little rumpled. We break away eventually and get back to work again. Mr Banner should really give us extra credit for our self-restraint and dedication.

When it's time to me to head home we say our goodbyes properly in Jasper's room but he comes out and waves to me as I drive away. I grin all the way home. I've never felt this way about anyone before and it's a bit scary, but incredibly exciting.

* * *


	8. Chapter 8

School drags on Wednesday. Jasper and I have no classes together which makes life easier. Although I want to see him, it's simpler when we're not thrown together during the day in front of our friends. Lunch break passes without mishap. I think maybe I'm getting better at acting cool around him. I hope so. Neither of us is ready to tell anyone about our relationship and I don't want to fuck things up.

We text each other to confirm the arrangements for the afternoon, but manage to keep the texts businesslike for a change. We agree to meet at his place again. He's left some of the books that we need there.

I give Jasper a ride back to his house because he got a lift with Rose in the morning. His presence in the passenger seat is distracting, just being around him makes me instantly horny. He gropes my thigh as I drive and I squirm in my seat as his hand creeps higher.

"Seriously, Jas... do you want me to crash the fucking car?" I laugh, half-heartedly trying to push his hand away.

"I want to get my hand on your dick," he replies, sliding his hand closer to my groin. "Just drive the car, and quit complaining."

Luckily – or unluckily, depending on your point of view – it's not far to Jasper's house and we pull up in the driveway before he's managed to make me cum in my underwear. Of course now I'm left with a dick that could crack rocks and to make matters worse, Emmett and Rose's cars are both outside the house.

"Thanks very much, now I have to go in there with boner!" I glare at him.

"You're not the only one!" he grins, completely unapologetic and I roll my eyes at him.

We take our time getting out of the car and by the time he opens the door I'm just about under control, even though all I want to do is drag him up the fucking stairs and torture him for a bit as revenge. But Emmett and Rose are in the living room watching TV. Emmett calls out to us as we pass the door, so we have to go in and be sociable.

"Hey, guys, what are you up to?"

"Hey, Em," Jasper replies. "We're still working on that Bio project for Mr Banner."

"That sounds like a drag," Emmett says sympathetically.

"Yeah," Jasper's voice is non-committal. "We're nearly finished now though, should be done by Friday."

Rose is looking at me and I try and make a suitably bored face at the prospect of project work. In actual fact all I can think about right now is taking her brother upstairs and sucking his dick until he begs me to let him cum. This is not helping my attempt at faking casual nonchalance.

I clear my throat, "So... uh... shall we go and get started?"

"You're keen, dude," Emmett jokes. _Sweet Jesus_. If only he knew.

"I just want to get this project over with," I lie blatantly, only blushing a tiny bit. I'm definitely getting better at this.

Jasper leads the way out the room and I follow him, admiring the curve of his ass as he climbs the stairs in front of me.

"So," Jasper enters the room and puts his bag down on the floor. "Wanna get some work done before we fool around?"

I whip my head and stare at him in disbelief. His blue eyes are full of mischief and I realize he's messing with me.

"You fucker!" I growl and launch myself at him, winding my fingers into his hair as I kiss him fiercely and grind my hard on against his hip. "After your performance in the car, _this_ definitely takes priority."

He laughs aloud at that and pulls away from me to lock his bedroom door.

I frown. "Won't Rose think it's weird that we're locked in?" I ask, suddenly paranoid.

"She never bothers me anyway, but I could leave it unlocked if you want?" he shrugs.

"No, I guess locked is better." Being caught in the act would definitely be worse than someone trying the door and noticing that it's locked – although neither would be cool.

"So," he says, grinning at me and eyeing my crotch. "Do you want me to take care of that for you?"

"No," I say and he looks confused until I continue. "I want revenge for that car ride."

"Go on then," he smirks at me. "Do your worst!"

I move to stand in front of him and then drop to my knees at his feet. He looks down at me and quirks an eyebrow. "If this is your idea of revenge, I should piss you off more often."

Determined to wipe that smug grin off his face I slowly slide my hands up his thighs and press my face to his groin, feeling his hardness against my cheek through the thick denim. I rub my cheekbone against him and smile as he pushes against me, already eager. I reach for his fly and slowly pop the buttons one by one, deliberately brushing against his dick as I do it. He slips a hand into my hair and scratches my scalp gently with his fingers. Once his jeans are open I tug them down around his knees. His cock is straining visibly against his blue boxer briefs. I nudge it with my nose and inhale, my mouth watering as I catch the musky, earthy scent of his arousal even through the material.

I carefully pull his underwear down and his dick bobs in front of my face, hard and glistening. I ignore it and press my face into the crisp curls at his groin, breathing him in. He groans loudly and his hips twitch impatiently. I tilt my head and look up at him. His dick is hot against my cheek and his face is flushed and desperate.

"Shh," I hush him, "Rose and Emmett are downstairs remember." It's quiet in Jasper's room and the sound of the television coming from the floor below is faint but clear.

"Oh… yeah," he's already breathless. "Shall I put some music on?"

"No," I say, and shake my head, so his dick slides against the slight stubble on my jaw. "You'll just need to keep quiet – otherwise I'll have to stop. Do you think you can manage that?" He glares at me, but then nods and lets out a shaky breath.

"Sit on the bed," I tell him. He moves awkwardly, hampered by his clothing around his legs. When he sits, I pull his shoes and socks off and remove his pants and underwear. "Take off your t-shirt too. I want to see all of you."

He fixes his eyes on me as he strips his top off and I let my eyes roam over his beautiful torso. His dick is standing upright against his stomach and is wet, the pre-cum catching on the pale brown line of hair below his navel. My cock throbs at the sight of him but I try to fight down the surge of lust. I want to tease him, make him beg. I'm almost getting off on the fear of discovery. It's not that I want to be caught, but knowing that there are other people in the house adds an extra edge to my arousal.

"Edward," he hisses and his cock twitches. I realize I've been staring at him without touching him and he's getting impatient already. This should be easy.

I tease his thighs with soft touches of my fingers as I gradually work my way up from his knee to his groin, kissing and lapping at his skin with my tongue. When I reach the juncture of his thighs I let my cheek brush briefly against his cock again before I pull back and start again at the other knee. He hisses and his fingers are in my hair again, pulling tighter now. When I reach his groin again I ignore his cock and lick his balls instead, exploring their fascinating texture with my tongue and breathing in the warm, musky smell of him.

His breath is coming in little gasps now and when I finally put my tongue at the base of his cock and start to lick up towards the head he lets out a strangled moan. I pull back immediately and raise my eyebrows at him.

"They'll hear you, Jasper," I warn him, watching in amusement as he scowls at me.

"You're evil… pure, fucking evil," he gasps. I just smirk and get back to licking slowly and torturously up his length. He moves his hands from my hair and lies back on his elbows. He twists the bedcover in his fists, clearly fighting for control and losing. I look up at him, meeting his eyes and watch as he bites his lip. I reach the tip of his cock and lick delicately around the head, teasing him with the tip of my tongue, tasting the salt of his pre-cum.

" _God_ , Edward," he hisses through clenched teeth. " _Please!_ "

I finally take pity on him and close my lips around the head of his cock, sucking lightly as he throws his head back and lets out a shuddering breath. His hips flex under my hands but I hold him firmly in place, not allowing him to push up into my mouth. There is a beautiful sheen of sweat on his chest and his muscles are taut as he clenches the bedcovers tightly.

I'm aroused to the point of pain myself now. I move my hands to my jeans and fumble with my belt and buttons as I keep sucking his dick, swirling my tongue around the head. His head jerks up when he hears the clank of my buckle and his eyes bloom dark as he works out what I'm doing.

"Fuck… you're… oh _yes_ , Edward. _Fuck!_ " He's still remembering to whisper, I'm impressed.

I wrap my hand around my cock and realize with a shock how close I am to coming. I focus on Jasper again, determined to make him come apart first. I move one hand back up to stroke his balls with my thumb as I suck his dick harder, taking him deeper and increasing the pressure of my tongue. His hips buck again and I let him push this time, feeling his cock hitting the back of my throat.

"I'm close," he warns; his whisper harsh in the silent room. I can hear the wet sounds of my mouth on his dick and my balls tighten. I slow my hand on my cock and grip myself tightly, wanting Jasper to come first. My patience is rewarded as his body arches and he pulses in my mouth. I hear him gasp as I finally let my own climax rush through me and moan around him, my cock spilling in my hand and probably all over my clothes. I'm too wrecked to care. I try to swallow around him but can't coordinate the movement. When I finally feel his body slump and relax, I pull off and gulp his jizz down. He looks up at me, flushed and lazy and reaches out a thumb to swipe gently at my lower lip and chin.

"You've got my cum on you," he grins. "It suits you."

I blush at how dirty he makes it sound. "I have cum pretty much everywhere," I roll my eyes, holding up a sticky hand and wiggling my fingers.

Jasper backs up on the bed and twists over to reach for the box on the bedside cabinet. I ogle his bare ass as he does it and feel a flicker of heat flush through me again already at the sight of the smooth skin and tight, rounded muscle.

I clean up as best I can but there is a significant amount of spunk on my black t-shirt, which will be rather noticeable.

"You can borrow one of mine," Jasper offers. I end up wearing a pale gray tee with some surf logo on the front. We're pretty much the same size so it fits fine. I like the fact that it smells of him but I don't tell him that.

We finally get our books out and get our heads into work mode. We take it in turns to type stuff up on Jasper's computer, while the other checks our notes and proof reads the finished sections on my laptop. We won't have much left to do tomorrow which suits me fine. I'm sure we can think of other ways to fill the time when we've wrapped up the loose ends of the project.

When it's nearing dinner time I stand up from my seat at Jasper's desk and stretch, my spine popping after being hunched over the keyboard. Jasper's eyes flit to my waist and I realize that a strip of skin was exposed as I lifted my arms.

"See something you like?" I tease. His gaze lingers on my crotch as I drop my arms.

"Of course," he grins, "but it'll have to wait 'til tomorrow now." He stands and meets my eyes and I part my lips as he leans into kiss me, mostly chaste with a hint of promise. We pull apart reluctantly but knowing that Rose and Emmett are probably still downstairs is a deterrent against taking it further. Jasper's mom will probably be home now too.

We head downstairs and hear voices from the kitchen. We go through and find Mrs Hale preparing dinner with Rose and Emmett helping.

"Hi, boys." Jasper's mom smiles at us, as Emmett and Rose glance up and acknowledge our presence. "Would you like to stay for dinner, Edward? Emmett's already staying."

I know there's no hidden meaning to the invitation. After all Emmett is one of Jasper's friends as well as Rose's boyfriend but it still makes me feel uncomfortable.

"Sorry, Mrs Hale," I apologize. "I can't today, but thanks anyway."

I notice Rose's eyes studying me; blue like Jasper's but cooler with a hint of ice. Her delicate brow is pulled together in a thoughtful frown.

"Isn't that Jasper's t-shirt?" her voice is sharp. I feel my face and neck flush and clear my throat before replying.

"Um… yeah, I needed to borrow one." I'm aware that I sound totally lame.

"Yeah," Jasper cuts in smoothly rolling his eyes in fake amusement. "He spilled water all over himself. Lucky for him he missed my laptop or he'd be a dead man."

Everyone chuckles except me and Rose and the awkward moment passes, but she's still looking at me more intently than I'm comfortable with. Alice has already worked it out. Somehow I don't think it's going to take Rose long. I'm afraid that she might not be as understanding.

"Anyway… I'd better get going," my casual tone belies my sweaty palms. "See you tomorrow guys; bye, Mrs Hale."

Jasper sees me to the door but we don't risk touching each other as we say goodbye. His back is towards the kitchen and his eyes linger on my mine as his lips curve in a secret smile that's only for me to see.

XOXOXOXOX

Back at my house I'm preoccupied during dinner. I'm starting to think that Jasper and I are going to have to consider telling people about our relationship soon, at least the people that we're close to. I watch my parents as they eat and chat to each other over the meal. I feel sure that they'll be okay with me being gay but I'm just not ready to make the announcement yet. It occurs to me that this is the first time I've used that word about myself, even in my head. _Gay_. It actually feels okay but it will be different saying it out loud, to my parents.

I hang out downstairs after we've eaten. I'm aware that I've been spending a lot of time in my room lately and it's rare that we have a night where all of us are at home together. We watch some movie but I don't really pay much attention to the plot because my mind keeps flitting to Jasper. It's nice just to be with my family though. My parents share one sofa and my mom is leaning on my dad, his arm is wrapped snugly around her and they look so easy and comfortable together. Their relationship has always been strong and you only have to look at them to see how much they still love each other, even after twenty years of marriage.

Alice and I sit at opposite ends of the other sofa and poke each other with our toes and fight over the blanket, just like we've always done since we were small. These days it ends in giggles rather than tears, but it still makes Mom yell at us to shut up so she can watch the movie in peace.

When I go back up to my room my thoughts return to Jasper as I strip down to my briefs and gray, Jasper-smelling t-shirt. The image of his bare ass as he reached for the tissues earlier pops into my head and I get to wondering about how it would feel to actually have sex with Jasper. My mind has shied away from the finer details of sex between two men up to this point, but now I find myself intrigued. I've honestly never found the idea of having anything shoved up my ass particularly appealing before, but I guess that it must feel good or no one would do it.

I lock my door and power up my laptop, putting some music on just in case. Over the last week I have started to look up gay porn online, _God bless the internet_. But until now I've only clicked on images and videos of dudes wanking or sucking each other off. Tonight I'm ready for more. I find a free video on Spankwire of three guys doing stuff together and sit back to watch it, feeling nervous but undeniably excited.

At first they're just making out and sucking each other's dicks. I push my briefs down and stroke myself slowly as I watch, engrossed. Then one of the boys – the youngest, prettiest-looking one – gets pushed forward onto his knees on the bed. I watch, riveted, as the darkest boy of the three runs his tongue up from the boy's balls and licks around his hole. I imagine how that must feel, that hot gentle pressure in such an intimate place and my breath hitches. My cock is leaking in my hand now and I smear the pre-cum around with my thumb.

The boys on the screen change positions. The cute one is on his back while the dark boy feeds his cock into his mouth and the blond boy is on his knees by the pretty one's ass – his tongue darting in and out in sharp, flickering movements. I'm close already, but don't want to cum yet so I stop stroking and just hold myself as I watch.

The pale, blond boy stands up and slides his forefinger into the pretty boy's ass. I watch, fascinated as it disappears up to the knuckle. The pretty boy is still sucking the other guy's cock and he's moaning enthusiastically and pushing back as the blond finger-fucks him slowly. The blond adds another finger and I bite my lip, gripping my cock tightly and start to move my hand again, quickly now, watching intently as those fingers slide in and out.

The blond boy pulls his fingers out and positions his dick at the other boy's ass; he slides it up and down over the slick hole a few times before he lines up and pushes. As I see the head of his cock disappear into the boy's body I cum hard. It's intense and sudden and I'm left gasping as my cock spurts on my belly.

The strength of my reaction to the video has shocked me a little. I imagine doing those things with Jasper and my spent dick immediately tries to flicker into life. I guess I might be ready to take things a little further. Jasper hasn't asked or even hinted for anything more than we've done so far, but I know he's more experienced than I am, so I'm pretty sure he'll be up for anything I want to try.

I close my laptop now, and set it aside, too tired to watch the rest. I don't think my dick can handle any more this evening. _Fuck!_ I notice that I'm still wearing Jasper's t-shirt and have managed to jizz on yet another item of clothing, one that's not even mine this time. I really need to remember to get naked before I wank next time.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone is interested (or recognised the descriptions!) the porn that Edward watched in this chapter is up on Spankwire under the title: 'Brent Corrigan in Gay Threesome'. You can probably find it if you google, assuming it's still up there depending on when you're reading this!


	9. Chapter 9

On Thursday I find my head returning to the visual images of the boys in the porn video that I watched the night before. This is not at all helpful when sitting next to Jasper in Biology and trying to keep focused on what Mr Banner is saying.

My eyes stray across to Jasper's desk. He's gripping his pen with one hand and his other hand is splayed out on the desk, holding his notes in place as he writes. His fingers are long and the knuckles stand out sharply. I imagine them touching me, pressing into me and opening me up like the boy in the video. I feel heat flood through me in that all too familiar way and I'm dealing with yet another hard on in Biology.

I'm a hopeless case, I decide. I need some sort of twelve step program for my Jasper addiction. I somehow manage to wrench my thoughts away from Jasper and his suddenly-fascinating fingers and keep my eyes firmly on my own notes for the rest of the class.

Lunch is torture. Jasper has pizza and the cheese keeps coming off it in long strings which he has to catch and un-stick from his lips and chin so he can feed it into his mouth with his fingers. He's sitting opposite me and I do my best not to look at him but it's hard not to. He glances over at me once or twice and from the glint in his eye it's clear that he knows how distracting he's being and is enjoying making me flustered. He just doesn't know why I'm so _particularly_ flustered today by the sight of his long fingers, slippery with the oil from his pizza.

Rose is sitting next to Jasper, with Emmett on her other side. Once or twice I catch her glancing between me and Jasper speculatively. Emmett seems oblivious, so if Rose has any suspicions about me and Jasper she obviously hasn't shared them with him.

We drive separately to my place after school, so there's no opportunity for any in-car groping today. My mom is home early and Alice is there too. Jasper and I fix ourselves a snack in the kitchen and chat to them for a while before heading up to get on with our work – or so we claim. In actual fact we have very little to finish but want to make the most of our time together while we still have a watertight excuse for hanging out. I can feel Alice's eyes on us as we move around the kitchen, but she's totally discreet and Mom doesn't seem to be picking up on anything.

When we get up to my room I lock the door while Jasper rifles through my CD collection. He puts on a White Stripes album then kicks his sneakers off and reclines on my bed, watching me as I put my bag down and remove my shoes. I never get tired of the way he looks at me. The hungry gleam in his eye and the way his lips curl in a half-smile makes warmth flood through me and I can't help but smile back. His blond hair is falling over his eyes as usual. I crawl onto the bed and straddle his thighs, grinning down and pushing the errant lock of hair aside.

"Hey, gorgeous," he drawls and his hands slide up to clasp my hips as I lower my head and press my lips to his. The kiss is slow but heated and I can feel us both getting hard as our tongues explore. He sucks my bottom lip into his mouth, nipping it lightly.

I pull back, wanting to talk to him before we get carried away. But I'm not sure how to begin. I decide to just ask and stop over-thinking.

"Jas," I hesitate, chewing on my lip. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure," he says easily, looking at me expectantly. "What's up?"

I climb off him and move to lean back next to him at the head of the bed. It feels easier not to be face to face for this conversation.

"Well... you know how you told me about Garrett?" I pause again and feel my face flush. "Well... I was just wondering how much you actually did with him. I mean... did you just fool around like we've been doing? Or did you actually have sex with him?"

"I had sex with him a few times," Jasper replies seriously. "He was my first – well my only apart from you – and he was more experienced than me... and I wanted to know how it all worked."

"And..." my face burns even hotter, but I really want to know. "When you did it... who was like... the top and who was the bottom?"

"You're adorable when you blush," he grins and nudges me gently. "I don't mind you asking, Ed, it's cool. The answer is we did it both ways. I wanted to try it all out – you know?"

I chuckle, because I really _do_ know. "Okay," I say, picking at the seam of my jeans with anxious fingers. "And which... um..."

"Which did I prefer?" he grins. "I liked both, for different reasons."

I'm silent for a minute, imagining me and Jasper together like that. I know that I want to try it, but I'm not sure I'm quite ready yet.

"So..." he rolls over and props himself up on one elbow, looking at me with a teasing smile. "What brought on all the questions?"

"I was watching some porn last night," I admit, feeling my face growing warm again. I look up at the ceiling, unable to meet his eyes.

"Really?" he sounds amused. "That's hot. So did it turn you on?"

"Yeah," I smirk, turning my head to look at him now. His eyes are intense and he leans in a little closer, running his fingers down my chest.

"What were they doing?" he asks in a murmur.

"All sorts of stuff... everything really," he's silent, waiting for me to continue. This is Jasper. I trust him. I look at the ceiling again, take a deep breath and steel myself. "I've uh... never even touched myself there... my ass I mean." My voice is a mumble but we're so close I know he'll hear every word. "Does it really feel that good?"

"Hell yeah," his voice is husky and goes straight to my dick. He slides his hand up my t-shirt, teasing the line of hair on my belly with gentle fingers. "Do you want me to show you?"

I let out a shuddery breath and turn to look at him again as I nod my head. His smile is brilliant as he leans over and kisses me deeply. It's gentle at first but I'm horny and impatient and I tangle my hand into his hair and pull him closer. He moves his body over me and our legs fit together. I can feel him hard against me and moan into his mouth.

We strip our clothes off between kisses, reconnecting each time in a clash of teeth and spit-slick lips. When we're both naked, Jasper lies between my thighs and our cocks slide together deliciously as he buries his face in my neck and nips a sharp line along my collarbones. I gasp and slide my hands down to grab his ass, allowing my fingers to tease along his crack in a way that I've never dared before. He growls and bites down harder, grinding his dick into the hollow beside my hip.

"Do you have any lube?" he murmurs, hot against my skin.

"No!" I groan, feeling stupid. "I didn't think..."

"It's okay," he pulls back and smirks, "I have some."

He hops off the bed and I admire the graceful lines of his body as he stoops and grabs his bag.

"In your school bag, Jasper – seriously?" I chuckle as he rifles through it.

"It doesn't hurt to be prepared," he pulls out a small bottle and grins triumphantly, all white teeth and dimples.

He crawls back between my knees and I feel a twinge of anxiety. He seems to sense that I'm nervous and kisses me more gently, running his hands over me until I'm breathless again. He slides down my body and takes my cock in his mouth, pushing my thighs up and apart as he sucks. I feel exposed with my legs splayed wide, but his hot mouth distracts me and the nervous anticipation makes my heart beat faster. His hands on my thighs creep higher until they're rubbing small, insistent circles on the sensitive skin behind my balls. I shiver and unconsciously spread my legs wider.

He pulls off me and I watch as he flips the cap on the lube open and slicks the fingers of his right hand. His cock is erect and juts out hard, already wet at the tip. He looks up at me and my stomach flip-flops as he meets my eyes, his gaze intense.

"Just tell me to stop if you don't like it, or if it's uncomfortable, okay?"

I nod and watch as Jasper reaches down with slick fingers until they graze the skin around my asshole. It feels like a current of electricity has shot through me and I hiss, amazed at the intensity. I feel one finger pressing and massaging in a tiny circle and gasp as it slips inside me. Jasper's brow is furrowed in concentration and he watches me carefully for my reactions. I feel the finger slide in and out, just teasing my entrance and it burns a little but not unpleasantly.

"Okay?" he murmurs.

"Yeah," I gasp. "More."

He pushes in further, twisting his finger and I feel the thickness of his knuckle as it eases into me. It feels really fucking good and I find myself pushing down against the intrusion, eager for more. When he adds a second finger the burn returns, but with it comes a needy desperation that I've never felt before. He moves his fingers slowly inside me, the slide becoming easier with each careful press. I groan and whimper and make all sorts of embarrassing noises but am too far gone to care. He's not even touching my cock and I'm close to coming already.

"You feel amazing," Jasper whispers, his eyes burning into me. "So fucking hot and tight..."

As he speaks he curls his fingers upward, pushing deeper and I cry out as he brushes a spot inside me that sends a jolt of heat searing through me. He thrusts his fingers in and out, faster now, touching me again and again in that place that has me moaning and desperate. I need to cum and reach for my cock, but he bats my hand away and wraps his free hand around me instead.

"That's it, does that feel good?" his voice is hypnotic and rough with his own need. "You look so fucking beautiful like this... I can't wait to feel you around my cock."

The combination of his words and his touch make me spiral helplessly into orgasm and I nearly black out with the force of it. I feel my body clench, impossibly tight around his fingers and spasm rhythmically in time with my cock as I cum with a strangled cry.

He strokes my cock gently now as I ride out my orgasm, then slowly withdraws his fingers. I feel empty once they're gone and I'm still breathing hard as he crawls over my body. I feel his erection brush my now over-sensitive cock and reach down to take him in my hand. He's rock hard and leaking and I know he won't take long. I curl my fingers around him and he thrusts urgently into the grip of my hand, his face hovering close to mine but not quite touching. His face is flushed and beautiful and I can't look away. I watch his face as he tenses and cums in my hand with a groan and his jaw goes slack with pleasure and his eyes glaze. He collapses bonelessly on top of me and he's heavy but I just slide my arms around him and hold him close while he pants into my neck.

Once he's got his breath back he pushes up on his forearms and grins at me. "So? Are you converted?"

I snort with amusement. "Yeah, I guess so."

"You _guess_?" he looks disbelieving. "Either you're really good at faking or you fucking loved it."

"Okay, you got me. Yeah... it was kind of amazing," Jasper chuckles and looks unbearably smug, but I guess he has a right to. "Now..." I shift beneath him. "Are you planning on getting off me before we end up glued together with jizz?"

"Eww, yeah, good point." He peels himself off me and we both grimace as the cool air hits our slick bellies. Hand jobs are way messier than blow jobs. As we clean up I think that I should buy shares in Kleenex at the rate we seem to be going through them.

Once we're de-jizzed and dressed, we put the finishing touches to the project and print it all out ready to hand in. It doesn't take long and within an hour we're stretched back out on my bed. I'm tempted to get him naked again but figure it's not long till dinner so probably best not to go down that road for now. We make out until we're hard and horny but we both know there isn't time to do anything more.

Jasper rubs at my dick through my jeans and looks up at me through his lashes. "So, will you be taking care of this later once I've gone?"

"Yeah, probably," I grin, "and you?" I eye the matching bulge in his pants and he nods and laughs.

"Yep, I reckon."

We kiss a bit more and then break apart again so he can check his watch.

"I'm gonna have to go soon," he says, "so... how are we gonna do this now that the project is over?"

"I guess we just keep on hanging out," I say. "I mean, we're friends anyway and we can always study together for the subjects we have in common?"

"Yeah, I suppose," he sounds thoughtful. "We didn't hang out that much before just the two of us, but I guess it's not that surprising that we'd be better friends after working on the project together?"

"Has Rose said anything to you?" I ask him. "She was looking at us weirdly after the t-shirt incident and she kept staring at me during lunch."

"No, she hasn't," Jasper runs a hand through his hair. "To be honest, Rosie and I usually stay out of each other's business. So even if she's suspicious she's not really likely to call me on it."

"Would she say anything to Emmett?" That's the part that worries me. I'm coming around to the idea of telling our families, eventually... but I really can't get my head around telling my friends, especially the guys.

"I don't think she would," he reassures me. "If she was going to say anything to anyone I think she'd come to me first, she's pretty direct like that. If Rose has something to say, she says it."

"Okay," I'm still feeling anxious about it, but figure there isn't much point worrying. It's not like I have any control over it. If Rose is suspicious it's too late now and I'm in too deep to consider pulling back from Jasper because of concerns about being found out.

"So... are you busy Saturday?" I change the subject. "Mom and Alice are going to Port Angeles for the day and Dad's working so the house will be empty."

"Sounds good to me," he grins. "A whole day together will be awesome!"

I smile back, happy at his excitement.

XOXOXOXOX

After dinner I jack off slowly in the shower, imagining Jasper fucking me. My ass is still tingling and sensitive from his fingers and I slip my hand round to touch myself there as I stroke my dick. I dip the tip of my middle finger in and am surprised by the heat. I feel the secret internal flutter as I cum, biting my lip to suppress a groan.

Later I'm lying in bed reading, sleepy and chilled out, when my phone buzzes with a text.

 _So did you take care of that dick of yours yet?_

I grin and reply: _Sure did, how about you?_

The reply makes my grin even wider: _Just doing it now, shame I can't text one handed._

The thought that he's touching himself right now is beyond hot. I'm too tired to join him though so I just type back: _I like to imagine you doing that. Maybe we can talk each other through it another time._

A new message comes back quickly: _Fuck, yes!_ I wait for a few minutes, imagining what he's doing during the interval and then my phone buzzes again. _Finished, sleep time now, c u tomorrow._

 _Goodnight,_ I reply. I smile to myself and switch my phone to silent before turning off the lamp and rolling onto my front. I think I can smell just a trace of him on my pillow if I breathe deeply enough.

* * *


	10. Chapter 10

Friday passes uneventfully. I don't see much of Jasper except at lunch and we manage to get through that without any awkward moments. I'm very aware of Rose watching us again and hope that Jasper's right about her keeping her suspicions to herself. Emmett seems to be his usual chilled-out self which reassures me a bit. I try and relax and smile at his jokes but can't suppress the ever-present undercurrent of anxiety that I've been living with for the last couple of weeks.

After school, Jasper texts me about tomorrow and I reply to confirm our plans. My dad's working all day and Mom and Alice will probably be heading out mid morning. We agree that I'll text him when they leave and he'll come straight over.

That evening, everyone's home for dinner. We talk about our plans for the weekend as we tuck into Mom's lasagna.

"Are you sure you don't want to come to Port Angeles tomorrow, Edward?" Mom asks.

"No, I'm just gonna hang out here." It occurs to me that I don't know what time they'll be coming back, so decide to volunteer a little more information. "I think Jasper might come over for a bit."

Alice catches my eye for a brief moment and looks away with a slight smile.

"He's been around here a lot recently," my dad comments. I glance at him but there's no sign of a hidden agenda.

"Yeah, we've been working on a project together for Mr Banner," I keep my voice light. "I didn't really know him before but we get along well now, he's cool."

Alice eyes me again but my parents both seem happy with the explanation. I feel uncomfortable about lying by omission but this feels like the first tentative step towards being more honest with them.

"Why don't you ask him to stay to dinner?" Mom suggests.

"Okay," I say, wondering whether he'll accept. I can't decide whether I'd rather he does or not, but

I suppose it'll be good for my parents to get to meet him properly before I get around to telling them the real nature of our relationship.

In the evening I finish some homework, knowing that I won't have time for studying tomorrow. Then I open my laptop and click through to the Spankwire site, looking for similar videos to the one I watched the other night. There are lots that have the same pretty actor in them, so I try out another of those. I find one with just him and a different guy with dark hair.

I stroke myself slowly, watching carefully as they make out and suck and fuck and I delay my own orgasm, only allowing myself to cum when the pretty dude spills on his belly while the dark boy fucks him. I stroke my softening dick, teasing out the last drops as the other guy pulls out and jerks off quickly, jizzing on the pretty guy's face. The dark boy kisses and licks his cum off the other boy with unexpected tenderness. I'm surprised by how hot I find that. My horizons seem to be expanding pretty rapidly.

I text Jasper just before I go to bed: _My mom asked if you want to have dinner with us tomorrow?_

He texts back to say yes, he'd like to. The thought of sitting around the table with him and my family is a little alarming, but kind of nice at the same time.

XOXOXOXOX

When I let Jasper into my house the next morning I feel strangely shy around him. This is the first time that we've spent together just the two of us, without having school work as the excuse. It feels weirdly like a date, apart from the fact that we're staying in rather than going out.

He greets me with his beautiful smile and when I close the door behind him, he kisses me, fleetingly but with just enough heat to make my knees feel weak.

By unspoken agreement we hang out downstairs at first. The day stretches ahead of us and there's no rush to get each other off. We play video games for a bit and chat and laugh together, enjoying each other's company and flirting a little. It feels as if we're filling in some gaps, taking the time to do some of the stuff we'd missed out on because of the weird way our relationship started.

Eventually hunger drives us to the kitchen in search of food and we fix some lunch together, scrambled eggs and bacon with some toast. Jasper gets in my way and tries to grope me while I'm stirring things. I smack him on the ass with a wooden spoon and he pins me against the kitchen surface and tickles me relentlessly. The tickling turns into kissing and we're laughing into each other's mouths and starting to get hard, when we belatedly remember that the eggs need stirring.

We eat together at the counter. The eggs are overcooked but it still tastes pretty good. I can't help watching Jasper and he keeps catching my eye and grinning. I feel warmth in my chest when I look at him. It's solid and comforting but I don't try to find a name for it yet, it's enough that it's there. And that he's here.

"So," he drawls, licking toast crumbs off his lips. "What time are your mom and Alice gonna be home?"

"Not for a few hours at least," I reply and smile as his eyes gleam.

He stands and takes my hand, pulling me with him to the stairs. We go up to my room and shut the door, but there is no need to lock it today. We start off just kissing, standing up by the bed. Our hands roam slowly under t-shirts, finding skin to stroke, but we take our time. It's wonderful not having to rush, not having the constant fear of interruption or discovery. We undress each other slowly between kisses, our hands exploring as each new stretch of skin is revealed. Jasper nibbles along my jaw and sucks at the soft skin just below my ear. I squirm into him and pull his hips closer. We're only wearing our underwear now but I want it off. I need to feel all of him, so I slide his boxer briefs over his hips and he pushes mine down at the same time. We break apart to take them off properly and kick them aside and stand there not touching, just looking at each other for a moment.

Jasper is tall and lean but the muscles are clearly visible under his smooth golden skin. His abs are defined and the sharp V leads beautifully down to his groin. His nipples are pale brown and flat and perfect. His chest is sprinkled with a light dusting of blond hair that's barely visible unless the light catches it. A thicker, darker line of hair leads down from his belly button and surrounds his cock and balls. His cock is standing out, hard and ready and my body reacts to the sight as I stare at him. I want him so much it's almost painful.

"So fucking gorgeous," his whispered words echo my exact thoughts and I look up to his face to see that he's staring at me just as hungrily.

I take his hand and pull him over to the bed. We lie on our sides, kissing and touching and stroking with our legs tangled together as the heat builds between us. I roll him onto his back and straddle him. I kiss my way down his neck and chest, filled with a sudden urge to explore every inch of this beautiful boy beneath me. His fingers tangle in my hair as I lick his nipples until they're erect. He hums as I move lower, tracing out the planes and curves of his body with my tongue. His hip bones jut sharply, stretching the skin between them so that it feels like silk in the hollows beside them. I lick and suck at the skin there, watching entranced as it blooms pink where my mouth has been. I suck again, harder now, wanting to leave a mark. When I pull back to admire my handiwork, he chuckles down at my satisfied expression.

I move lower still, ignoring his cock for now. But I pause to breathe in the scent where his thighs meet his body. I feel him tense in expectation and he huffs in frustration as I chuckle against his skin and move lower, kissing down his thigh and rubbing my face against the coarse hairs. I find a ticklish spot behind his knee which I have fun with for a while, then move lower still. His ankles are strangely appealing and I lick at the fine bones there and massage his foot with my hands. I swap to the other foot and continue my ministrations, working my way slowly back up. That knee proves to be just as ticklish and he giggles and squirms as I push his leg up and lick the back of it.

I creep higher, kiss by kiss; lick by lick. The higher I get, the slower I move and by the time I reach the inside of his thigh, just next to his balls, Jasper is moaning with each brush of my lips and tongue and his hands are gripping my hair painfully. I nuzzle his balls with my nose and lick them gently. I suck one into my mouth experimentally, it feels weird but I run my tongue around it and he gasps and I feel the muscles in his thighs tense.

"Mother- _fuck_ , Edward. You're such a fucking _tease_!" his voice is wrecked and desperate.

I take pity on him and finally move up to lick at his cock, starting at the base and working upwards. I settle down between his thighs and suck him into my mouth, circling the head with my tongue. I stroke his balls with one hand and let my fingers slip lower, exploring the skin behind them. He groans and spreads his legs wider, "Yes… _please_!" and I move my hand lower still, searching nervously with my fingertips until I feel his puckered hole. He whimpers and I want to do this for him but I don't know how.

I stop for a moment and let his cock slip from my lips as I look up at him. "D'you want me to do this?"

"Yeah… is that okay?" His blue eyes are dark and hazy with need. I couldn't refuse him anything when he looks like this.

"You'll have to talk me through it," I say. "I'm scared of hurting you."

"Okay," he nods. "There's lube in the pocket of my jeans." I scramble to get the little bottle and return, kneeling back between his legs. "You just need to take it slowly, just like I did for you. Start with one finger. I'll tell you if it's uncomfortable and when I'm ready for more."

I slick my fingers carefully, my own arousal almost forgotten as I concentrate on Jasper. He lies beneath me, open and trusting and I relax a little. I bite my lip in concentration as I circle his hole with my forefinger, encouraged as he hums his appreciation. I push and feel a little resistance but then my finger slips through the tightness and into the heat of Jasper's body. He gasps and I flick my eyes up to his face. He smiles encouragingly and nods.

"That's good… now move, slowly."

I watch in fascination as I slide my finger carefully in and out, he feels tight around me but the movement is easy. "Add another," he instructs and I comply, feeling him open up to accommodate the second finger. I watch him carefully for any sign of pain or discomfort but he's pushing down on my fingers, flushed with pleasure. He takes his cock in one hand and starts to stroke it in time with the movement of my fingers.

I curl my fingers inside him, remembering how it felt when he did the same for me and he hisses and as I brush against something inside that makes him clench his fingers into the bedcover. I lean forward and push his hand away from his dick, wanting to feel him in my mouth again. I keep moving my fingers as I suck on him, curling them into his tight heat, imagining how he would feel around my cock. I can feel my dick leaking and aching to be touched but I keep my focus on Jasper, wanting to feel him lose himself. His cock is hard and rigid under my tongue and I taste the salt as I swirl around the head and dip into his slit. He brings a hand to my hair again and his fingers twist into the strands.

"So close…" he breathes. I push my fingers even deeper and he moans, a long drawn out sound that teeters on the edge between pain and pleasure.

I thrust faster and suck harder and he tightens his grip on my hair as he cries out harshly. "Oh… Edward… _fuck… yes_!" I feel him pulse around my fingers as my mouth is flooded with his hot salty bitterness.

When he stills, I pull off and swallow, then slowly allow my fingers to slip out of him. He tugs on my hair, gently now and I crawl back up the bed.

"That was fucking amazing," he kisses me deeply, licking into my mouth as if searching for a taste of himself.

I can't stop myself from grinding my weeping dick against his hip and he pulls away and chuckles. "Yeah… it's your turn now. Don't move." He wriggles down the bed beneath me and I flush with heat as I realize his intention. "Pass me a pillow," he instructs and positions it to support his head.

He takes my hips in his hands and pulls me towards his mouth. I let him take control and move me how he wants. He rubs his lips over the head of my cock first, smearing the pre-cum until his mouth glistens with it. Then he parts his lips and takes me in slowly, inch by inch. I fight the urge to push into his mouth, watching as he takes me deep. He guides me with firm hands, encouraging me to withdraw and push back in. His eyes flick up to mine and the sight of him looking at me, mouth full of my dick, makes me moan. He moves one hand up to his mouth and slides a finger in alongside my cock and pulls it out, wet and shiny. He reaches round to circle my hole with his fingertip. The spit is just enough to allow him to press inside and tease me with tantalizingly shallow thrusts. It distracts me and I slow my movements but he pulls on my hip again with his other hand, humming contentedly around my cock as I fuck his mouth. Jasper twists his finger just so and I feel my balls clench and gasp out a warning. I cum hard, my hips bucking against his hand and my fingers digging into the bedcover as I cry out his name. He holds my cock in his mouth, sucking gently until I become too sensitive and pull out, moving to collapse on my back next to him.

He rolls onto his side and throws an arm over me, holding me close. We lie in silence for a while. My fingers trace idle patterns on the skin of his back and shoulders and my nose is in his hair. It smells warm and comforting and unmistakably of Jasper. The moment is perfect and the rest of the world feels a million miles away.

XOXOXOXOX

We are careful to be dressed and downstairs watching TV by the time Mom and Alice get home. Jasper and I are at opposite ends of the sofa with a calculated distance between us.

"Hi boys," my mom greets us with a smile. "Have you had a good day?"

"Yeah thanks, Mom," I reply.

"Hi, Mrs Cullen," Jasper stands to greet her. "Do you need any help with your shopping?"

"Thank you Jasper, dear, there are a few more bags in the car," she beams at him. "Oh, and do please call me Esme." She continues. "I got pizzas for dinner, I hope that's okay? But if I was going to cook from scratch we'd be eating awfully late."

"Sounds perfect, Mom," I get up and head out to the car with Jasper to carry in the shopping. "Hey, Sis," I grin at Alice as I pass her in the hallway, heading upstairs with her arms full of bags. "Did you leave any clothes in Port Angeles for anyone else?" She pokes her tongue out at me as she flits past and grins at Jasper who smiles back.

We carry the groceries into the kitchen and put them down on the counter. I start to put them away as Jasper helps unload the bags. Mom comes in and puts the oven on.

"Your father should be home any minute, he texted to say he was on his way."

Alice joins us and we all help to set the table and get out some salad and coleslaw. I have to keep reminding myself not to touch Jasper. I try not to look at him too much but occasionally we catch each other's eyes and the warmth in his gaze makes me tingle.

Over the dinner table my parents engage Jasper in conversation. He seems relaxed and at ease and I let the conversation flow around me as I eat, but don't participate much.

My ears prick up when Dad asks Jasper about his college applications. It's not something we've talked about yet. I've wondered, of course, but didn't know how to bring it up. I hadn't wanted to try and discuss any sort of future plans even in general terms, as we've only been taking things one day at a time so far. I know that he thinks he might major in History, but I don't know where he's applied. It turns out that neither of us wants to move more than a short flight away from our families and we've applied to some colleges in the same cities. Both of us have applied to Berkeley and the University of Washington.

"Berkeley is your first choice isn't it, Edward?" my Mom asks and I nod through a mouthful of food. I glance at Jasper and he grins briefly.

"I'm not really expecting to get into Berkeley to be honest," he says. "But I'd like to be in the Bay Area and I'm hoping I might get into UCSF."

I feel a flush of happiness at the thought that we might end up somewhere where we can still see each other fairly easily if we want to. I try to tamp it down. It's way too soon to be thinking about stuff like that. But then I catch Jasper's eye again and he looks pleased too.

After dinner, Jasper stays to help with the dishes and when he leaves he shakes my dad's hand and my mom pulls him into a hug.

"Goodnight, Jasper," she smiles warmly. "It was very nice to meet you properly; we hope to see you again soon."

I see him to his car and our shoulders brush as we walk in the darkness. He takes my hand and squeezes it. I want to kiss him, but don't dare in case anyone is watching through the window.

"See you on Monday," he circles his thumb, pressing into the palm of my hand.

"Yeah," I smile and his lips curve in response.

I watch him drive away and Monday seems like a long time away, even though I know it's not.

Back in the house I find my mom curled up on the sofa. Dad's gone off to shower and Alice has disappeared upstairs.

"Jasper's a lovely boy," my mom says as I come in and sit on the sofa beside her.

"Yeah, he's cool," I reply.

 _Mom, I'm gay_. I try the words out in my head and imagine her response. I'm not ready yet.

"He has a real warmth to him," she continues thoughtfully. "He seems very genuine."

"Yeah, he's a good friend…" _and I think I might be in love with him_.

My heart jumps in my chest. Where the fuck did that thought come from? I guess it shouldn't be such a leap. I clearly care about him, I want him and I think about him all the fucking time. I just hope that he feels the same.

My mom is regarding me curiously as I freak out a little over my internal monologue, twisting my fingers into the fringe on the throw that covers the sofa. For a moment I'm afraid that she's going to come out with a question that I'm not ready to answer but she doesn't. She just smiles and asks me if I want to watch a DVD. We watch some old episodes of Friends and as we giggle over the jokes that we both know by heart, I relax and the moment of anxiety passes.

* * *


	11. Chapter 11

Sunday drags. I sleep late and hang around at home for the day. Dad has to go into work in the afternoon and Mom heads out to a yoga class. I watch TV with Alice for a while and we fight over the remote as usual.

A little while after Mom's gone Alice turns to me and asks. "So, I know it's none of my business, but when are you going to tell Mom and Dad?"

I don't need to ask her what she's talking about. I keep my eyes fixed on the television and bite my lip before replying. "I really don't know... I mean I kind of _want_ to, I'm not sure what's stopping me."

"Even though you know they'll be cool, I suppose it's still a big deal," she says thoughtfully. "There's no going back from it, is there?"

"I think that's it." She's right as usual. "And it doesn't just affect me. As soon as I tell them, that puts pressure on Jasper to come out too – and I'm not sure if he wants to tell his folks yet. Plus once we start telling people, we have to decide how public we want to be. I don't think either of us wants to have to deal with being openly gay in school, you know?"

"You should talk to him about it," she advises. "You're not very good at hiding your emotions, Edward. Sometimes when you look at him they're written on your face for all the world to see. It's only a matter of time before someone else notices." Her voice is light but I know that she's serious.

"Yeah, I guess you're right. Thanks, Alice."

"You're welcome." Then she grins wickedly. "You do realize that when you tell them you're gay, Dad's going to give you a safe anal-sex talk don't you?"

" _Oh, God_!" I groan, remembering the embarrassment of the sex talk he gave me when I started dating Bella. "You're right. He won't be able to help himself will he? I think that's a very good reason to stay in the closet 'til I'm forty."

She giggles with delight and I can't help but laugh along with her.

Jasper and I text back and forth at regular intervals during the day, making plans for the following week. We decide to meet up a couple of times after school, using the cover of studying for exams.

We're not going to get together until Tuesday, when we've arranged to go over to his house after school. I resign myself to lots of wanking at home and lots of pretending-to-be-normal around him at school. If Alice is right, I apparently suck at that. I resolve to try harder. Maybe he's like the sun. If I don't look directly at him then I'll be okay.

XOXOXOXOX

Monday consists of me and Jasper trying to avoid attracting any attention while sending each other covert texts at regular intervals. I survive History class without getting a boner and give myself a mental high five for that achievement. I only manage it because I don't allow myself to look at Jasper directly or think about him naked. Whenever my mind tries to go down a route that will end in a hard on, I drag my thoughts back to the lesson and force myself to focus.

Lunch also passes uneventfully. The conversation around the table turns to holiday plans. We only have a couple more weeks of school left until we finish for the holidays. Tyler's having a party at his place on the Friday after we finish school and there's going to be a big party at Lauren's on New Year's Eve. Everyone's excited at the prospect and I manage to sound suitably enthusiastic. Actually, after the last party I'm dreading them both. I don't want to have to fend off the advances of girls that I'm not interested in and watch Jasper do the same. I don't meet his eyes, but I wonder what he feels about it.

Neither of us lingers in the locker rooms after gym this week. It feels too dangerous and we'd agreed not to risk it, tempting though it is. We deliberately shower far apart and avoid looking at one another. I congratulate myself on another challenge successfully navigated.

He catches up with me on my way out of school and we walk to the parking lot together.

"So are you gonna go to Tyler and Lauren's parties?" he asks me.

"Yeah... I guess," I say unenthusiastically.

"It'll be okay," I glance at him and he shrugs. "What's the worst that can happen? We might even be able to find a spare room to make out in."

I look around us in alarm but there's no one close enough to overhear. "I suppose," I smirk at him. "But if you let Lauren Mallory maul you, I won't be responsible for my actions." I grimace at the thought.

He chuckles, "I'll spray myself with cat-repellent before I go out." We reach his car and I wait as he unlocks it.

"I hate this part," I say. He looks at me questioningly. "It just sucks that I can't just kiss you goodbye, like I could if you were a girl."

"I know," his voice is regretful. "I hate that too."

"See you tomorrow," I say as he gets into his car.

"I'll call you later," his beautiful lips part in a dazzling smile.

XOXOXOXOX

My phone buzzes with a text as I'm helping to dry the dishes after dinner. It's Jasper, asking if I can talk.

I reply: _I'll call you in ten._

I make my standard excuse of homework and head up to my room as soon as I'm finished in the kitchen. I stretch out on my bed and select Jasper's number and press the call button. It only rings twice before he answers.

"Hey, you," I can hear music in the background.

"Hey," I reply. Just the sound of his voice is enough to make me smile.

"So I was just thinking about you while I was in the shower..." his voice trails off.

I chuckle. "Yeah? How did that work out for you?"

"It made me hard," his voice is low and husky.

"I should hope so," I reply, feeling my own dick responding to the sexy edge in his voice.

"I thought about taking care of it there and then," he pauses and I wait, listening to the soft whisper of his breathing. "But then I thought it might be more fun if I called you and asked you to help me out."

"Fuck," I mutter. "Yeah, that does sound fun... hang on a minute."

"Please tell me you're not sitting on the sofa next to your mom or something?" his voice is amused.

"Nope, I'm definitely alone, but I'm just gonna lock my door." I hurry over and slip the lock, then put some music on, just to be safe. I put the phone down and strip to my underwear. "Okay, I'm good."

"Are you lying on your bed?"

"Yeah," I say, putting my hand on my dick. It's already hard under my palm.

"What are you wearing?" he asks.

"Just boxers, how about you?"

"Nothing at all." I can imagine the smirk on Jasper's face as he replies and my dick twitches as he continues. "Are you touching yourself already?"

"Yeah," I reply, curving my fingers around the outline of my cock through the fabric of my shorts and stroking slowly. "And you? Tell me what you're doing." My voice is a little breathless.

"I've got my hand wrapped around my dick and I'm pulling on it slowly," he says. "I've been hard ever since I got out of the shower and I'm sticky and aching to cum, but I wanted to hear your voice first."

I close my eyes and imagine Jasper, naked, jacking off with long slow strokes, thinking about me. " _Fuck_..." I gasp tightening my grip on my own dick, "I wish I could see you."

"I'm stroking harder now," his breath huffs down the phone, "I need to cum soon. I want your mouth on me... I fucking love your mouth." I awkwardly push my boxers below my cock and balls, needing skin on skin right-the-fuck- _now_ and I moan as I grip my cock hard and start to slide my hand rhythmically up and down. "What are you doing? Tell me how you're touching yourself, Edward." His voice is rough with desire.

"I've got my cock out now and I'm stroking hard," I reply. I'm already close. Somehow it feels so much dirtier doing this over the phone than face to face.

"Does it feel good?" he demands.

"Fuck, _yes_ ," I reply with a growl.

"Lick your thumb and make it really wet," he tells me. I bring my hand up and suck my thumb into my mouth; I can taste my pre-cum on my tongue.

"Okay," I whisper, my thumb is shiny wet.

"Now take it back down and circle it around the head of your cock while you touch yourself. Imagine that it's my tongue." His voice is mesmerizing and I comply immediately, imagining his blond head lowered over my groin, my cock in his mouth. "I wish it was my tongue, I fucking love how you taste."

"Fuck, Jas... I'm close now," I mutter through gritted teeth.

"Good, because I am too," he pants and I think I can just hear the slick sound of his hand working his dick. "Harder now, faster… That's just how I want to feel you moving in my ass when you fuck me one day soon."

"God... Jasper, _fuck!_ " Those words tip me over the edge as I imagine my cock sliding into his ass. I tighten my fist and buck my hips up, cumming into the fierce grip of my hand with a drawn out groan of pleasure.

Over the phone I hear him moaning my name along with various expletives between shuddery breaths as he obviously cums too. I relax my hand and use my fingers to gently milk out the last of my release as my breathing slows and my dick softens.

I reach for my discarded t-shirt and awkwardly wipe my hand and abdomen as best I can with my phone still in one hand. I hear rustling noises down the phone and guess that Jasper's doing the same.

"So, was it good for you?" I chuckle, unable to resist the cliché.

He laughs out loud and I can imagine his expression. "Awesome. It's always amazing when I make myself wait like that... and knowing you were doing it at the same time was just fuckhot."

We're both quiet for a moment; neither of us seems eager to end the contact. I decide to broach the subject that's been on my mind since the weekend and I take a deep breath before speaking.

"So... I've been thinking about telling my parents."

There's a pause before he replies. "Okay," he says. "How do you think they'll react?"

"I think they'll be surprised, just because of Bella really… but I think they'll be supportive. So, is that cool with you, if I do?"

"They're your parents Ed, it's your decision. I guess maybe I should think about telling mine too."

"You don't have to just because I am." I don't want him to feel pressured into anything. "I mean, my parents would be totally discreet, they wouldn't tell anyone if I didn't want them to."

"I know," he replies. "I just keep putting off having that conversation with mine, but I've never had a reason to tell them before. It was easy to hide it when I was just jacking off to gay porn in my room."

I chuckle at this. "But what about Garrett?"

"That was totally different; it was never a serious thing."

The implication that this _is_ a serious thing makes my chest fill and a smile spread across my face. "So… I'm a reason to tell them?" I can't resist pushing a little.

"Yeah, I guess you are," his voice is warm and amused. "I don't like sneaking around my family, and I think my folks will be okay with it… with _you_. Like I said… I think they have their suspicions anyway. I've never once brought a girl home. And I'm pretty sure that Rose has an idea about what's going on with us – I might talk to her about it first actually."

"Okay," I'm relieved that we seem to be on the same page. "Well I'm not rushing into anything, so I'll pick my time carefully – maybe, after the holidays are over… but that's cool that you're thinking about it too. Let me know if you talk to Rose."

We chat for a bit longer, about nothing in particular. I just like hearing his voice at the other end of the line, but it's not nearly as good as being in the same room as him. I'm looking forward to tomorrow.

XOXOXOXOX

On Tuesday afternoon we spend a fun couple of hours fooling around in Jasper's room. A minimal amount of studying gets done but we find out more about each other's bodies. Jasper fingers me again, slowly and relentlessly until the edgy burning ache of wanting to be filled nearly consumes me. When he finally fills me up with three fingers and swallows my dick to the root I nearly black out when I cum. He jacks himself off as I spill down his throat and I lick his fingers clean when he's done.

We flop together, sweaty and satisfied. I take his hand and trace the lines and calluses on his palm with my fingertips.

"Jas…I want you to fuck me," I say the words quickly, before I can chicken out. "Not right now," I clarify awkwardly, "I mean – Rose is probably downstairs and your parents will be home any minute, but… y'know, soon."

"You're sure?" he turns his head, his lips brushing my temple, breath soft. "I thought you'd want to top the first time."

"Nope, I'm sure. I'd be worried about doing it wrong and not making it good, or hurting you… and anyway, I really want to feel you inside me," I can't help blushing at the admission.

"Well I think I can live with that," he teases and tightens his arms around me, rubbing his nose along my cheekbone.

"So anyway… my parents are going away this weekend and I can probably talk Alice into going for a sleepover somewhere, so I'd have the house to myself…" I trail off suggestively.

"And you want _me_ to come and have a sleepover with _you_?" he chuckles and his voice is low and dirty.

"Yeah," I roll over and lean in towards him, stopping just before our lips touch. "And make sure you pack lube and condoms," I whisper as I lower my mouth to his.

I slide my tongue into his parted mouth and we kiss until we're flushed and our breathing is sketchy. Our cocks rub together and I grind into him as I think about how much I want him, how much I want him to fuck me. The weekend had better come quickly.

As the week passes I start to relax into this new life of secrecy. It gets easier, and whenever I feel my façade start to slip I remind myself of Alice's warning and keep my emotions locked up tight. At school I gradually learn to be around Jasper and treat him as a friend and nothing more. We laugh together and hang out with the rest of our group as usual and I start to realize that we can do this. We can keep this to ourselves if we want to. Of course I still obsess about Jasper and get horny around him on a regular basis, but I'm getting better at accepting that and keeping it hidden. It's no longer the impossible task that it was a week or so ago.

We meet up at Jasper's again on Thursday afternoon and Emmett and Rose are in the kitchen when we arrive.

"Hey dudes," Emmett greets us, his mouth half full. He has an enormous triple-decker sandwich in front of him.

"Eating all our food again, Em?" Jasper complains jokingly. "Mom should start charging you housekeeping!"

"Yeah, whatever. She loves me, doesn't she Rosie?"

Rose just sniffs and quirks a perfect eyebrow. "Only because you charm the pants off her, you shameless flirt."

"I can't help it if women of all ages find me irresistible," he shrugs and winks as he catches my eye.

"You wish!" Rose rolls her eyes at him.

"Anyway, so are you guys like BFFs now or what?" Emmett gestures between me and Jasper. "You're joined at the hip since that Bio project; it's like a total bromance."

Adrenaline courses through me at the unintended accuracy of his words, but as usual Jasper smoothly deflects the question with a lighthearted chuckle.

"You're just jealous, dude. You're so pussy-whipped by my sister that you never get to hang out with the guys anymore."

This earns him a death-ray glare from Rose but seems to do the trick. Emmett just laughs and carries on eating.

The conversation turns to inconsequential stuff as Jasper and I fix some snacks and hang out with them for a while. But I'm painfully conscious of Rose's eyes on me, assessing and wondering. I don't think she's as easily fooled as Emmett.

When we get up to Jasper's room I turn to him.

"I think you need to talk to Rose, man. I'm sure she knows something's going on and it's freaking me out."

He nods. "Yeah, okay. I think you're right. I'll do it soon."

The knowledge that Rose and Emmett are in the house cramps our style a bit, so we don't risk getting naked today. We make out for a bit and then suck each other off quickly and efficiently. This leaves us with more time to work than usual, which is probably a good thing with exams coming up after the holidays.

"So is everything fixed for Saturday?" he asks when it's nearly time for me to leave.

"Yeah," I nod. "Alice is spending the day with Leah and sleeping over at her house on Saturday night. Mom and Dad are going to Seattle to do Christmas shopping and staying overnight in a hotel - we all know it's a dirty weekend but no one talks about it."

"Well they're not the only ones who'll be having a dirty weekend," he wiggles his eyebrows suggestively and I grab him by the hips and pull him into me.

"I'm hoping so," I grin and lick along his jaw, teasingly, then whisper in his ear. "Now remember – lube, condoms and don't bother with pajamas."

Jasper dips his head and murmurs into my neck. "Wasn't planning on it," and I hum as he swipes his hot tongue over my adam's apple. The weekend is going to be awesome.

* * *


	12. Chapter 12

On Friday evening Jasper texts me just as I'm getting ready for bed.

 _So, I spoke to Rose._

 _And?_ I reply.

 _Prob easier if I call, can u talk now?_

 _Yes_ , I type back quickly, feeling nervous.

I sit on the edge of the bed and wait for my phone to ring.

"Okay, so she was mostly fine with it," he's quick to reassure me when I answer.

"Mostly..?"

"Yeah, I mean she's annoyed that I didn't trust her enough to tell her sooner, but she's cool with the gay thing."

"Well that's good," I sigh, relieved.

"The only catch is that she's not happy about keeping it from Emmett."

I'm silent for a moment. I suppose I can see it from Rose's point of view. I wouldn't want to have a big secret to keep from Jasper, but the thought of having to tell Emmett that I'm gay still freaks me the fuck out. I've been friends with him since grade school. We grew up together. I can't bear the thought of this affecting our friendship, or of him treating me differently when he finds out.

"Uh huh," I finally say, not knowing how to put my concerns into words.

"I've persuaded her to give us some time," Jasper continues. "I want to tell Mom and Dad before I tell anyone else and you need to tell your parents too. She doesn't like it, but she does get why we want to wait until after the holidays."

"Okay, well I guess that's cool then. Is she going to be weird with me?"

"You know Rose," Jasper chuckles. "She'll give us a hard time I'm sure, but she'll keep the secret and I know she'll support me if we get any shit for this in the future."

XOXOXOXOX

On Saturday, Jasper turns up at my place after lunch. My parents left early in the morning but Alice is still packing for her sleepover. She seems to be taking a ridiculous amount of belongings for one night away.

"Seriously, Alice – how many pairs of shoes do you need?" I roll my eyes at her. "It's only twenty-four hours."

"What do _you_ know?" She sniffs, as she hauls her bags down the stairs. "Anyway, I thought gay men were supposed to be more appreciative of fashion."

Jasper doubles over laughing and I glare at them both. It feels weird being stereotyped by my little sister and I think Jasper should be more supportive. "Well not this one!" I huff as I take the largest bag from her. "Seriously, Alice, what have you got in this bag, rocks?"

Jasper and I help her carry her bags to my car. I give her a lift to Leah's house and Jasper comes along for the ride. On the way back I can feel him watching me and flush under his gaze.

"Stop it," I scold. "You're distracting me."

"I'm not even touching you," he protests.

"I know," I reply. "But your thoughts are so loud I can practically _hear_ them."

He snorts with laughter. "So what am I thinking about?"

I glance sideways for a second and catch his wicked grin. "The same thing as me I hope."

"I'm just thinking about what we're gonna do when we get back to your place," he drawls casually. "You know – hang out, watch some TV, play some Halo… maybe do a little fucking."

"Not really helping my concentration there, Jas," I snort as my hands tighten reflexively on the steering wheel and he lets out a dirty chuckle that redirects all my blood to my dick.

"It's a good thing we're nearly back then," he says as he leans back in the passenger seat and stretches his legs out.

A few minutes later I pull up in the driveway and we head into the silent house. We pause in the hallway and look at each other expectantly.

"So… you said something about TV?" I begin, innocently.

"Yeah, actually that part of the plan was shit." He smirks and bites his lip. "Can we just skip straight to the last part?"

I feel a thrill of nerves and anticipation rush through me, a heady combination that leaves me rock hard and impatient. My throat is dry so I just nod as he steps in and kisses me hard and deep.

The kiss doesn't last long. Jasper pulls back and grabs my hand, pulling me toward the stairs. I follow willingly. He laces our fingers together and squeezes as we hurry to my room. I can feel his excitement bubbling under the surface. Part of me can't believe we're really going to do this, but I'm completely sure of how much I want him.

We leave my bedroom door open. When I move towards my iPod dock to pick some music he stops me with a hand on my arm.

"Don't. I only want to hear you."

We strip quickly between kisses and hungry touches, the tension between us spurring us on. I'm nervous but I want this so much. I've been thinking about it ever since I watched that first porn video and now that it's about to happen I'm burning with the need to feel Jasper inside me.

Once we're naked Jasper pushes me down onto the bed. He already has lube and a condom in his hand and sets them aside as he explores my torso with hands and lips and tongue until I'm writhing and desperate. He slides up my body and I moan as I feel the hot nudge of his cock against mine. I reach my hand down to hold them both and he licks into my mouth and pushes his dick into the curl of my fist, rubbing it against mine until I break away gasping.

"Shit… I'm gonna cum before we even get started if you don't stop that."

He laughs breathlessly and looks into my eyes. "Well now, we can't have that, can we?"

He pushes my legs apart with his knees and moves down to lie between my thighs, lube in hand. I prop myself up on my elbows to look at him. His hair is mussed from my fingers and his lips are wet and flushed from kissing. My cock twitches and he grins up at me and leans forward to lick it, sucking the head into the wet heat of his mouth and teasing me with his wicked tongue. My breath catches.

"Jas… seriously, I don't want to embarrass myself here."

He pops off reluctantly. "I just needed a taste… more of that later." My cock thinks that's a great idea but right now I want him inside me.

He sits back and uncaps the lube, smearing it on his fingers as I spread my legs wider. I feel my ass twitch, ready for his touch. He reaches down, I feel a careful finger sliding back to circle my entrance and I bite my lip. I watch his face, beautiful in concentration as he devotes himself to making me feel good. His finger slides into me and it's amazing but not enough, I want to be filled, stretched, joined with Jasper in a new way.

I push down on his finger, moaning encouragement as he works it inside me, opening me up and making me ready for him. He adds a second finger and it burns for a moment, but the discomfort is fleeting and leaves behind an achy need for more _– deeper, harder… please, Jas_.

"Can I add another?" He asks me.

I just nod, dragging in a shuddering breath, and as a third finger stretches me there is pain again. I hiss and he stops moving his fingers and his eyes meet mine.

"It's okay," I gasp. "Just give me a moment."

I try and focus on breathing deeply and Jasper brings his other hand to my dick, which has wilted slightly. He strokes it until it's back to full hardness and by then I'm ready for him to move inside me again. "Go on," I nod.

He moves his fingers, gently but insistently, fucking me open and jacking my dick until I'm a sweaty mess of want, teetering on the edge of orgasm. I'm beyond speech now but he knows when I can't wait anymore. My ass clenches helplessly as his fingers slip out, leaving me empty and aching.

Jasper rips open the condom and rolls it down his cock, then takes the lube again and squeezes it directly on to me. I jerk and curse as I feel the cold gel slide down the skin behind my balls.

"Sorry," he chuckles and uses his fingers again to smear the lube around my hole and onto his cock. "Just tell me if you need me to stop, okay?"

He leans forward and pushes my knees back as he lines himself up and I feel the blunt head of his dick pushing at my entrance. I feel my body give around the intrusion and enjoy the stretch of being filled again. I hum to show him that it feels good and grab his hips with my hands, pulling him closer. He's stretched me so much that once the head of his cock is inside me, the rest slides in easily.

"Fuck… you feel amazing," he murmurs as his hips press against my ass.

I gasp and take a ragged breath and pull at him with urgent hands, encouraging him to move. He slides back and then pushes forwards again, it feels incredible, tight and intense and it stings but I'm greedy for more.

"Harder, Jas… please," I murmur and he picks up the pace. My cock bounces against my abdomen as he thrusts.

"God… I'm not gonna last long," he hisses and brings a hand down to grip my dick. I'm wet and leaking and he smears the pre-cum over the head as he strokes me hard and fast. I'm overwhelmed by the sensations coursing through me and feel the coil and curl of heat building at the base of my spine. He shifts his position slightly, tilting me back further and his cock presses against all the right places inside me. I curse and dig my fingers into the cheeks of his ass, urging him on.

I meet his eyes and the sight of him moving over me, sweaty and flushed and too fucking gorgeous for words is the trigger. The heat finally ignites inside me and my dick pulses in his hand as I spill between us slick and sticky. He keeps moving as I ride out my orgasm, stroking my cock and pushing into me in firm, smooth movements. He's telling me how fucking beautiful I am and how incredible my ass feels and then he's coming too, tensing and stilling as I feel his dick twitching deep inside me. He stares down at me with an intensity on his face that I've never seen before. Our eyes stay locked as we gasp for breath and it's almost too much, but then his face breaks into an exhausted smile and the tension is broken.

I slide my hand up his sweat-slick back and pull him down so I can kiss him. It's clumsy and our teeth knock but I need to do something with my mouth before I start saying stuff I'm not ready to say to him. He leans his weight on me and when he finally breaks away from the kiss he stays there and buries his face into my neck. I don't need to tell him that it was amazing. I think it was probably pretty fucking obvious.

We lie for a while in silence, wrapped around each other. Eventually he moves and peels himself off my belly and disposes of the condom quickly. Then he flops back down beside me, pulling me into his arms. At some point we must doze off but I'm woken when his stomach growls.

"Hungry?" I say, poking him in the stomach.

"Yeah," he yawns and stretches. "But I'm also sticky. How about a shower first?"

We shower together and get predictably distracted as we soap each other's bodies. He presses me up against the tiled wall and grinds against me from behind. I feel his dick sliding between my cheeks as he jacks me off, teasing my nipples with his other hand. After I've come, I drop to my knees and suck him off as the water streams over us both.

We only bother to pull on t-shirts and boxers before heading to the kitchen in search of food. We spend the rest of the afternoon playing video games and chilling.

I fix us some pasta for dinner. My culinary skills are limited but I can manage tomato sauce. Jasper's easily impressed, admitting that he only knows how to open jars and has never cooked from scratch. We eat in the kitchen and tease each other for getting spaghetti sauce on our chins.

We stretch out on the sofa after we've eaten and watch some old episodes of Buffy. We sit at opposite ends but our legs tangle together under the blanket. Jasper admits to harboring a crush on Angel for years and says that he thinks I look a bit like him. I can't really see it myself. Jasper says it's something about the jaw line and the brooding expression. I tell him that he looks a bit like Buffy and he pelts me with sofa cushions then crawls over and tickles me until I'm helpless with laughter. Then our groins rub together and we realize that we're both getting hard and we're not laughing anymore but are kissing instead. Buffy and Angel get forgotten as Jasper settles between my thighs and pulls my dick out to suck on it. When I feel myself getting close I pull on his hair to stop him.

"Can we go upstairs?" I ask. He looks at me questioningly, pupils dilated as he licks his lips. "I want you to fuck me again." I whisper.

"Aren't you sore from earlier?" He asks and I shake my head in reply.

"A bit extra-sensitive maybe, but definitely not sore. I want you inside me again."

Back in my bedroom we fall onto the bed impatiently, pulling at each other's clothes until we're naked again. The feel of his warm skin against mine is something I could never tire of. I end up on top of him, kissing and licking and sucking at his neck as I grind my ass down on his cock.

Soon we're both impatient for more and break apart, grinning and panting. I crawl up the bed to reach for the lube and a condom from the night stand. I feel his hands on my back and the warmth of his body as he leans over me. He runs his hands over my back and down to my hips, then pulls me back so I can feel his cock poking my balls. He lifts it up and presses his hardness against my crack. I push back against him and wriggle a little.

"Wanna try it this way?" he murmurs, leaning forward. His hot breath tickles my shoulders.

"Okay."

I pass him the lube and condom, then settle myself on all fours, leaning forward on my elbows. I feel very exposed with my ass in the air but it only adds to my excitement. Not being able to see what he's doing is kind of hot too, I trust him but the uncertainty is thrilling.

He sets the supplies aside and carries on touching me gently with his warm hands, caressing my hips and the backs of my thighs as he leans forward and trails his tongue up and down the bumps of my spine. With each pass of his tongue he dips a little lower toward the cleft of my buttocks and I squirm under his firm hands, painfully aroused and impatient for him to get to work with his fingers.

He shifts his position then, pulling back and dropping down to lick my balls and suck them into his mouth. I gasp and my dick bobs against my stomach. His tongue moves higher to the skin behind my balls and flickers around the sensitive skin behind my balls. I close my eyes, curling my fingers into my fists until my fingernails dig in painfully. My ass flutters and I want his fingers inside me _right the fuck now_.

His tongue moves higher and I squeak embarrassingly as I feel his hands spreading me open and he licks delicately around the wrinkled skin at my entrance. I clench involuntarily, shocked. I never expected him to touch me there with his tongue.

"Relax," his breath is hot between my ass cheeks as it whispers over my hole. "This will feel amazing, trust me."

"Okay," I manage to gasp.

His tongue is on me again, licking harder now and it feels wet and dirty and wonderful. He sucks and pushes at my hole with his tongue and the filthy noises that it makes rip away the last shreds of my control. I press my face into the pillow and moan and whimper as I push back shamelessly into the squirmy heat of his tongue. My cock hangs heavy, throbbing and needy and I long to lower my hips and rub myself off against the bed but I don't want him to stop what he's doing. Jasper seems to read my thoughts and his hand reaches between my legs, brushing my balls as he takes my cock in his hand. I'm so tightly wound, he barely needs to touch me. His fingers slip around me and his thumb brushes the head and then I'm crying out and cumming in fierce spurts as his tongue presses into me.

I sag, unable to move, reeling from the force of my orgasm. I'm dimly aware of the tearing sound of a condom wrapper and the squirt of lube. I feel Jasper's fingers slide into me, I'm already open from his tongue but he stretches me a little more and I hiss as he grazes the sensitive spot inside me.

" _Fuck_ , Edward…"his voice is a hoarse whisper. "You look so fucking amazing, all spread out and waiting for me."

I chuckle weakly, beyond speech, but his dirty talk makes my softening dick twitch with a flicker of renewed interest.

I feel his fingers slip out and then the smooth head of his cock is pressing slowly into me. I push myself up onto my hands and press back against him, enjoying how easy it is to move with him in this position. We both groan in pleasure as he slides in and our balls brush together.

"So good, baby… so fucking tight and beautiful," he starts to move in earnest now, his balls slapping against me as he thrusts in hard. "Is this okay? Tell me if you need me to be more gentle."

"It's good, Jas… hard is good," I rock back, encouraging him.

"Edward… _fuck_!" he grips my hips and slams into me, over and over until I feel his hips stutter and he squeezes me so hard that his fingers will leave bruises. His cock jerks inside me as he comes.

He stays inside me and leans forward to kiss my shoulders until he starts to soften and slip out. As he deals with the condom, I wipe as much of my jizz off the comforter as I can. I guess I'll be doing laundry in the morning before my folks get home.

We sleep naked, entwined. I think that I would crawl inside him if I could. At some point I wake in the night and just listen to the sound of his breathing. He sighs in his sleep and rolls over onto his side and I curl myself around him, fitting us together like pieces of a puzzle.

" _I love you_." I whisper into the soft skin behind his ear. I wonder when I'll be brave enough to tell him when he's awake.

* * *


	13. Chapter 13

When I wake the next morning, the first thing I'm aware of is a heavy weight across me and something tickling my nose. I'm flat on my back on the bed. Jasper is sprawled half over me with his head tucked into my neck and an arm thrown over my chest. One of his legs is wrapped over mine and I can feel his morning wood poking me in the hip. The events of the previous day come rushing back to me, bringing a surge of happiness with them. I grin and instinctively bring up my arm and curl it round his shoulders as I dip my head and brush my lips against his hair.

He shows no sign of waking yet and I really need to pee, so I extricate myself from under his warm, sleep-heavy body and go to the bathroom. When I come back he's rolled over onto his side so I sneak back in bed and spoon up behind him. My dick stiffens quickly at the feeling of his warm bare ass, but as he's still fast asleep I resist the urge to grind against him and close my eyes instead, allowing myself to doze for a while.

Eventually Jasper stirs in my arms and I feel him arch back and press against me as he stretches. I hum and slide my arm around him, flattening my hand against his belly and pulling him close. I kiss the warm skin of his shoulders and shift my hips deliberately. My cock is hard again and slides against the cleft of his ass as he chuckles and murmurs.

"G'morning, babe."

"It certainly is," I say, teasingly, running my nose up his neck to nibble on his earlobe.

I hitch my hips again. My dick feels just too damn good, rubbing against his warm skin. He doesn't seem to object to it, because he slides a hand round to grab my hip and pulls me even harder against him. I gasp and he pushes his ass back as I move against him. I slip my hand down over his flat belly and find his cock, hard and leaking on the sheets.

"You're making a mess of my bed there Jas," I tease. We both know the sheets are already a lost cause and we have plenty of time to deal with those later.

"Well if you rub yourself off against my ass and get me all riled up, you only have yourself to blame." His voice is sleep-rough and sexy as hell.

I laugh aloud. "Fair enough," I say as I circle the tip of his dick with my thumb, smearing the sticky wetness around. "God that feels good… I want to taste."

I pull on his shoulder and he rolls over to face me. I wriggle down the bed, shoving the covers aside as I suck his cock into my mouth eagerly. He's hot and heavy against my tongue and I can smell him – all sweat and musk and sex. I inhale deeply and groan, grinding my erection against his leg.

"Get your dick up here," Jasper growls. "I wanna suck you too."

I moan and let him slip out of my mouth for a moment while we change position. I flip so that my feet are at the head of the bed and he scooches down so I have room for my legs. I feel his breath on my balls and his hand guiding my cock into his mouth.

"Fuck!" I gasp and hasten to get my mouth around him again.

The feeling of his hot mouth sucking and licking at me, while my own mouth is full of Jasper's dick is fucking awesome. The position is slightly awkward and I'm careful not to scrape him with my teeth. I take him as deep as I can and suck hard, closing my throat around him. I use my hands to stroke his thighs and balls and he does the same to me.

It's not long before I start to get close, and I want to make sure he's nearly there too so I push his thighs apart with my hands. He works out what I'm trying to do and bends his top leg so that I can get at his ass. I slip one finger into my mouth along with his cock for a moment and then take it back to press at his hole as I keep on sucking. He moans urgently around my dick and I feel his thighs tense. As the tip of my finger slips inside him I feel him cum, his ass twitching around my finger and his hot release flooding my mouth. I suck and swallow as much as I can but my own orgasm distracts me. I feel his cum trickling from the corner of my mouth as I groan around him and thrust helplessly into his mouth.

Jasper does a much better job of swallowing than me and grins smugly as I sit up and wipe his jizz off my mouth and cheek with a tissue. He catches a bit that I missed on my lower lip with his thumb. I lie back down beside him for a kiss but grimace as I realize I'm lying in a wet patch that's already growing cold.

"I really need to get these sheets washed and dried before Mom and Dad get home," I sigh as I pull back from his lips.

"Why don't you go and put them in the wash now, then come and join me in the shower?" Jasper suggests.

He helps me strip the bed, and by the time I've got the bedding in the machine he's already in the shower and the water's running hot. I slip in beside him and we take our time. We've finally reached the point where neither of us can cum again until we've had a bit of recovery time, but we have fun anyway. I could happily spend hours getting Jasper soapy and rinsing it off.

We pull on sweat pants and t-shirts and raid the fridge to find stuff for breakfast. We cook together, making a cheese omelet with bacon and piles of toast. We manage not to burn anything this time, even though Jasper is incapable of keeping his hands to himself again. To be fair, he's not the only one, and I wouldn't have it any other way. Once we've eaten and tidied up the kitchen, the washing machine has finished so I put the sheets in the dryer.

It's around midday now, and I know that Mom and Dad won't be back until late afternoon. Alice is going to text me when she's ready for a ride home.

"So what do you wanna do?" I ask Jasper. "When do you need to get home?"

"Not until dinner time," he replies. "So is it okay if I hang out here for a while longer?"

"What do think?" I grin and pull him into my arms as I lean back against the kitchen surface.

His lips are warm and soft against mine and his body is a hard, comforting weight in my arms. We kiss gently at first, tasting and exploring and I pour all the feelings into the kiss that I don't know how to express using words. He kisses me back hard, his thumbs pressing against my cheekbones as his fingers slide into my hair and I gasp into his mouth at the intensity of the emotion reflected back at me.

When we finally break apart we rest our foreheads together, arms wrapped around each other as we calm down and our breathing settles.

" _God_... Jasper," I exhale shakily and he tightens his arms around me.

We opt for watching more old episodes of Buffy and we snuggle up together in a mound of cushions and blankets. He leans against the arm of the sofa and I sit between his thighs with his legs stretched out on either side of me. He puts his arms around me and I lean my head back on his shoulder. He's warm and I'm so comfortable that at some point I fall asleep. I guess he does too because we both jump in alarm when Alice's voice wakes us.

"How adorable do you two look?"

I blush furiously and move to get up, but Jasper holds on to me and stops me. It's clear that Alice is alone but I can still feel my face burning. Alice just stands there, smiling down at us and gradually I relax. She's seen me like this with Bella before, this shouldn't be any different. It's not like she didn't know that Jasper and I are together.

"Um... hi, Alice," I offer belatedly. "I thought you were going to text me for a ride home?"

"Leah's mom was going out anyway and offered. I thought you might be busy," she smirks and I blush even harder. Jasper chuckles behind me.

"What's the time anyway?" I ask.

"Nearly four," Alice replies and this time I really do leap up in alarm, pulling away from Jasper.

"Shit, Mom and Dad will be home soon. I need to get the sheets back on my bed."

 _Oh shit_. I suddenly realize that this is way more information than my baby sister needs to hear, but she just giggles and raises her eyebrows.

"Well, I'm glad you put all that alone time to good use," she snorts. Jasper wiggles his eyebrows suggestively and grins at her. He could at least have the decency to look slightly embarrassed, the fucker.

I glare at them both before heading to the kitchen.

I've just finished making up the bed when Jasper comes back into my room. He throws himself down on top of the comforter and I move to lie beside him.

"Your sister is cool," he says. "And she thinks we make a beautiful couple."

I snort. "Yeah, well... I guess we're both fairly easy on the eye."

"You're fucking gorgeous, and you know it," he grins, rolling on his side to face me.

I smile back as he reaches over to kiss me. He pushes me onto my back and pins me down as he slides his tongue hungrily into my mouth and makes me gasp. He pulls his lips away from mine and licks along my jaw. Neither of us have shaved today and our stubble rasps together. His lips are on my neck, sucking and nipping and I twist away breathless.

"Don't you fucking dare leave a mark!" I warn him. "I don't want to be explaining that at school tomorrow, or to my parents tonight."

He growls in protest but moves his mouth back to mine and we kiss messily for a while until I can feel his erection hard against mine as we push our hips together.

"Oh God... I wish we had time to fuck again," he mutters between kisses.

"I think my ass needs a break," I chuckle as he moves his mouth back to my neck, licking this time rather than using his teeth. But I really want him to fuck me again soon. I tell him so in a filthy whisper as he grinds against me, his breath hot and ragged against my neck.

Finally we pull apart and let ourselves calm down a bit, knowing that my folks will be home soon. We make plans for the last week of the semester, agreeing to meet to combine some fooling around with some half-assed studying at his place on Wednesday. It seems a long way off, but we both have assignments to finish first that we can't help each other with. Neither of us wants to fuck up our GPA and we have to reluctantly admit that our study sessions together are usually less than productive.

Jasper leaves before my parents get home. Although I would have liked him to stay longer, I'm kind of relieved. It's going to be weird enough facing them with aching muscles, a burning ass and the secret knowledge that I was having my own kind of dirty weekend while they were away having theirs. I think if Jasper was still here, I would be incapable of maintaining the pretence that he's just a friend and nothing more.

My folks arrive back just in time for dinner, bearing a million bags of Christmas shopping from Seattle and takeout food for dinner. Alice and I greet them with hugs and help them carry everything in from the car, under strict instructions not to peek in any of the bags. Mom looks tired, but glowing and Dad seems to have quite a spring in his step. I know exactly how they feel.

XOXOXOXOX

By Wednesday morning I'm buzzing with anticipation. The last two days have been tough. I hate having to hide our relationship when we're in public together but I'm finally getting better at it. Jasper catches me by my locker in the morning before class.

"Can you stay for dinner at my place tonight?" he asks.

I cast a quick glance around but no one's close enough to listen to us. I risk a smile, trying to keep it neutral rather than giving into the dazed happy grin that always wants to paint its way across my face when I'm around him.

"Yeah, I guess." I reply.

"Cool," he smiles back. His hair is damp and curls on his collar and I can smell toothpaste on his breath. I want to kiss him so badly. "Mom suggested it when I said that you were coming over, I thought it would be good for you to meet my folks properly, before... you know."

My heart flutters. I know that we have to go through with it, but I'm still horribly nervous at the thought of coming out to both sets of parents. However, I can see that making a good impression on Jasper's parents in advance will only help to make things easier when we reach that point.

"Will Rose be there?" I ask.

Rose has avoided my eyes when I've been around her in school this week. It's kind of a relief not feeling like I'm under her constant scrutiny, but I'm worried that she's pissed with me.

"Yeah," Jasper replies. "And Emmett too, is that okay?"

I nod and exhale sharply, "I guess." I hope that Emmett really is as oblivious as he seems. I don't relish the thought of having to put up with any knowing looks or inappropriate jokes from him in front of Jasper's parents. "You're sure Rose hasn't said anything to him?"

"As sure as I can be," Jasper shrugs.

XOXOXOXOX

When we get to Jasper's place after school, Rose and Emmett's cars are already there, but there is no sign of them downstairs. We head straight up to Jasper's room and hear loud music coming from Rose's room down the hallway. The door is firmly closed.

"Nine Inch Nails?" I snort in amusement. "That's such a cliché!"

"It's probably Emmett's choice," Jasper grins. "He's not exactly the subtle type is he?"

"They might as well just hang a 'Do Not Disturb' sign on the door," I say as we lock Jasper's door behind us. Jasper goes to put some music on. "So what are your parents' rules?" I ask. "Is Emmett allowed in Rose's room when your folks are home?"

"Yeah, he is," Jasper replies over his shoulder. "But they are supposed to keep the door ajar. Mom and Dad don't always bother to enforce it, but Rose is pretty careful about not fooling around when they're in the house. What are your family rules? Was Bella allowed in your room?"

"Yeah she was," I nod. "My parents are pretty cool like that. Their logic is that if they don't let teenagers have privacy at home then we're just going to find someplace else to do stuff."

"Awesome," Jasper grins, moving back across the room to push me backwards onto his bed. "Do you think the same rules will apply when they know you have a boyfriend instead of a girlfriend?" He leans over me and I slide my hands up under his clothing, over the warm, smooth skin of his back. He shivers under my touch.

"I hope so," my lips quirk at his casual use of the word boyfriend but I don't comment on it. "I guess we'll find out soon enough. At least I can't get you pregnant. That will probably work in our favor."

He laughs as he closes the gap between our lips and then we don't do anymore talking for a while. Jasper isn't sure exactly what time his Mom will get home so we don't risk getting naked. We kiss and rub against each other through too many layers of clothing until we're both achingly hard and panting for breath.

"Blow job?" Jasper suggests, licking his lips as his fingers reach for my fly. "Less mess that way."

"I love how practical you are," I chuckle as he wriggles down between my legs and eases my dick out of my underwear.

He sets to work quickly; we both know that we don't have long so I don't try to hold back. He's so fucking good with his mouth and he uses all his favorite tricks on me. He concentrates his attentions on the head of my cock while he uses his hand at the base. He sucks and licks and teases my slit with his tongue. As he sucks, he looks up at me through his lashes and hollows his cheeks like a porn star. In an embarrassingly short time I'm biting on my fist to stifle my cries, as every muscle in my body tenses and I arch and cum into his wicked mouth.

He pulls off, licking his lips and I drag him back up the bed and kiss him hard and deep, chasing the taste of myself in his mouth. "Your turn now," I whisper against his lips and he moans and grinds his denim clad erection against my now-sensitive dick, making me hiss.

I flip him over so that he's lying on his back. He grins up at me expectantly and I crawl down the bed to return the favor, but before I manage to get his pants open we hear Mrs Hale's voice calling up the stairs.

"Hi, kids, I'm home. Please can I have some help getting the groceries in from the car?"

"Fuck!" Jasper groans as I leap off him and frantically tuck my junk away and pull my clothing straight.

He sits up, wincing slightly as he limps to the door. He opens it a crack and yells, "coming Mom!" He turns to look at me ruefully. "I fucking wish!" He heaves a heavy sigh.

* * *


	14. Chapter 14

Making a good impression on Jasper's mom when I know that my jizz is still coating the back of her son's throat is a challenge, but I rise to it. I smile as Mrs Hale greets me and force myself to meet her eyes unflinchingly. I help Jasper bring in the shopping from the car and am glad of the cold air outside to cool my flushed cheeks. Emmett thunders down the stairs, looking suspiciously rumpled, just as we're carrying in the last few bags.

"What kept you, dude?" Jasper asks with an evil grin. Emmett flips him off subtly before turning to greet Mrs Hale with a hug and a peck on the cheek. She blushes and beams at him. Emmett seems to have this impressing-the-parents thing figured out. It's a shame I can't ask him for tips – or not yet anyway. Emmett and I help unpack the shopping while Jasper and his mom put it away.

Rose joins us after a few minutes, looking as cool as a cucumber and completely unruffled. She greets her mother calmly with a kiss on the cheek and asks about her day. I admire her aplomb. I wonder exactly what they were up to when Mrs Hale shouted up the stairs and whether she managed to cock block three out of the four of us. Maybe Jasper was the only unfortunate one who didn't have time to finish. My lips twitch in amused sympathy at the thought of my poor frustrated boyfriend. _Boyfriend_. I try the word out in my head and decide I like it.

We offer to help Mrs Hale cook dinner, but she shoos us away saying that we'll just get underfoot. So the four of us go through to the living room and switch on the TV. Rose and Emmett curl up together on one sofa, while Jasper and I sit at opposite ends of the other. The space between us feels huge and wrong. Rose glances over and catches Jasper's eye and I think I see a flash of sympathy there before she moves her eyes back to the television.

"So, that was a close one," Jasper grins at them. "I think you should be more obvious with your sex music though, because that wasn't a give away _at all_."

"Fuck you, man," Emmett replies good-naturedly. "You're just jealous because you aren't getting any. Isn't that right Rosie?" He nuzzles her neck and she swats him away but she's smiling as she does it. "You boys really need to go and get yourselves laid. You spend way too much time studying."

Rose makes a sound that's suspiciously like a snort but she covers it with a fake cough. Fortunately at that point we're interrupted by the sound of the front door, and Mr Hale pokes his head in to greet us.

"Hi, guys," he greets us all with an easy smile. "Hey, Emmett, good to see you." His eyes move to me. "And you must be Edward?"

Jasper's quick to introduce me since I haven't met his dad properly before. "Yes, Dad, this is Edward Cullen. He's on the football team with Emmett and me, and we have some classes together."

I stand to greet him and he smiles warmly as he takes my hand in a firm grip. "It's good to meet you, Edward." He looks like an older version of Jasper, except his hair is cropped close to his head and gray rather than blond. But he has the same bright blue eyes and the same dimples when he smiles.

"You too, Sir," I meet his eyes and smile back at him.

"I'm gonna head up and get changed, I'll see you kids later - you all staying for dinner tonight?" We nod the affirmative and he grins, waving a casual hand as he leaves the room.

Jasper smirks at Emmett. "He wouldn't be so pleased to see you if he knew what you'd been up to with his little girl a half an hour ago."

"Shut it, Jasper." Rose snaps.

She looks at her brother with a dangerous glint in her eye. She moves her eyes pointedly to me and back to Jasper again with a challenging raise of her eyebrows. Luckily Emmett is watching the TV and doesn't notice her expression. Jasper shuts up and I breathe a sigh of relief. I'm really going to need to have words with him about taking the piss out of Rose and Emmett.

The moment passes and we resume our TV watching and general banter. I slowly relax again, wondering if things will be easier once we've told our families. I really hope so.

Dinner is delicious. Jasper's mom has rustled up some amazing pasta dish in record time and we all help ourselves and dig in appreciatively. She's obviously used to cooking for Emmett because she's made sure that there's plenty left for second helpings, despite the size of Emmett's first portion. Jasper is sitting next to me, a reassuring presence, and I feel his elbow brush mine occasionally as we eat.

Dinner table talk turns to colleges again. I tell Jasper's parents about my plans to major in Biology. When it comes up that Jasper and I may end up at colleges that are close to each other, Rose's eyes flick up with interest and she flashes us both a quick, genuine smile across the table. I smile back and she holds my gaze for a moment.

Jasper's knee presses against mine under the table and I feel the constant warm glow that has taken residence in my chest flare up a little brighter as I return the pressure. I'm so relieved that neither of us has applied to colleges that are thousands of miles away.

We talk about Emmett's college applications too. He's also hoping to stay close to home, with Seattle being his first choice. But Rose's face still falls noticeably when he talks about going away, although she doesn't say anything. She has another year of High School and is obviously not looking forward to the prospect of a long distance relationship.

After dinner we all help to clean up and the atmosphere in the kitchen is warm and cheerful. It's been good spending more time with Jasper's family. I'm relieved that his parents seem pretty laid back. I feel better about the prospect of Jasper telling them about us, now that I've had a chance to get to know them a little. I wonder whether he's right that his parents already have their suspicions about his sexuality. They certainly haven't given any sign of it this evening.

After dinner we sit around in the living room and chat a little longer. Eventually I think I should probably head home, so I start to make my excuses.

Jasper catches my eye and says casually, "I'll come up with you to sort out our notes. I was just in the middle of something when Mom got home."

My heart rate goes through the roof as I remember exactly what he was in the middle of. Luckily I'm already heading towards the door so no one can see the instantaneous blush that floods my cheeks at the thought.

When we get to his room he closes the door quietly but doesn't lock it. He leans against it and looks at me.

"Please tell me that you don't want me to suck you off now, not with all your family and Emmett downstairs," I plead. "We're only supposed to be up here getting my books and I just can't… I'm sorry." I feel bad. I know he must have blue balls after being interrupted earlier.

"Ed, it's okay." His face breaks into a smile and he pulls me towards him, slipping his hand round to the nape of my neck and brushing his lips over mine. "I mean, obviously I _want_ you to suck me off now, but I know it would be a bad idea, so it's cool. You can owe me one." He wiggles his eyebrows.

I nearly collapse with relief. "Okay," I sigh. "I mean, I really do want to, just not here and now."

He kisses me again, gently but it's still enough to make my toes curl with wanting him. He pulls away and puts his lips close to my ear and whispers, "I'll just have to take care of this later." He takes my hand and presses it against the bulge in his pants and I whimper at the thought of him jerking off after I've gone home.

We pull apart and smile at each other ruefully. I move to grab my bag. Given that the studying was a non-starter today, I don't actually have any books to pack. So we linger a moment longer and enjoy a few more goodbye kisses before we head back downstairs.

XOXOXOXOX

The next day we have Biology together and go through our usual routine of casual greeting and chat. The tension between us is ever-present under the surface, humming like an invisible connection. I can feel it so strongly; it always amazes me that no one seems to notice it.

We're watching a film in class today. The lights are off and the blinds are closed to keep the sunlight from shining on the screen. Mr Banner is sitting at the front with his back to the class and I notice Jasper pulling out his phone and typing discreetly. A few seconds later my phone buzzes. I pull it out under my desk, careful to check that Mr Banner still has his eyes facing forward.

 _I want ur mouth on my dick_

My pants start to feel uncomfortably tight as I type back: _not sure Mr B would approve_

 _R u free next period?_

 _Yes._ I reply, wondering what he's planning.

 _Meet me by my locker_

Once again I shift uncomfortably in my seat and totally fail to concentrate for the rest of the lesson because of Jasper. Every time he catches me squirming he shoots me a dirty grin that only makes matters worse.

I find Jasper by his locker and hang back nervously, pretending to fiddle around with stuff in mine while we wait. The hallway gradually clears as students head to their next classes. Finally we're alone and Jasper looks at me with a familiar hungry expression that immediately makes my blood rush south despite our surroundings.

"Let's go then," he puts his hands in his pockets and turns away.

I fall into step beside him. "Go where?" I hiss, anxiously.

"You'll see," he grins.

He leads me through the school corridors until we reach the autoshop right at the back of school. He peeks through the glass panel in the door. It's not being used this period and there is no sign of any teachers. With a quick, furtive glance to make sure no one has seen us, he slips the door open and pulls me inside, his grip firm on my wrist.

My heart is pounding already, "Jas… we can't! What if someone catches us?"

"They won't," he says confidently, as he pulls me through the deserted room. "The workshop is always empty this period and Mr Jenkins is busy covering another lesson. I know, because I asked him if I could get the key to the lock-up, because I need to fix my car."

"But the doors have fucking windows in them," my voice rises in agitation. "Anyone could just look in and see us."

"The door to the tool lock-up doesn't." He stops at a door in the corner of the workshop, unlocks it and pulls it open with a triumphant grin. "Now get your ass in there, my dick isn't gonna suck itself you know."

Okay, I have to give him credit for ingenuity and he looks so fucking sexy when he smirks like that I find it impossible to say no to him. So I slip through the door into the gloom of the large tool closet.

My eyes take a moment to adjust to the sudden darkness, as Jasper follows me in and locks the door behind us. The only light comes from a tiny window, high in the wall, that's so covered in grime that only a faint grayish light filters through. It smells musty and metallic with a faint whiff of engine oil. The small space has floor to ceiling metal racking on both sides, covered with storage containers, a variety of tools, random car parts and cans of oil.

Jasper's leaning against the door. I can't make out his expression in the dim light, but I can see the gleam of his teeth and hear the sound of him swallowing as he looks at me.

"Get over here," his voice is rough and makes my knees feel shaky.

I step towards him and he grabs me and pulls me in close and his hands are all over me, sliding under clothing and clutching at me as he kisses me urgently. His teeth scrape over my jaw as he trails his mouth down towards my neck in a biting line of fierce kisses. He grabs at the collar of my shirt and fumbles with the buttons, cursing as he tries and fails to gain access to more of my skin. I hear the rip and pop of a button flying off.

" _Fuck_ …" I gasp, bringing my hands up to help him. I'm not wearing a t-shirt under my shirt today, so I _really_ need to make sure that the rest of the buttons stay attached.

He sucks on my collarbone impatiently and grinds his hips into me as I frantically undo the remaining buttons with trembling fingers. His thumbs skate over my nipples and I bring a hand between us to grasp his cock through his jeans. He grunts and pushes into my hand and I move my hand to slide it down inside his pants. I feel him, hot and slick against my fingers.

"Your mouth," he growls. "On me, now!"

His commanding tone makes my own dick throb. I drop to my knees on the floor. It's hard concrete and probably stained with oil but I couldn't give a shit. Jasper's tearing at his fly and he frees his erection. I push his hands away and suck him in to the root as he curls his hands into my hair. He tastes of salt and sweat and I feel him bump against the back of my throat and nearly gag in my eagerness to take him all in. I pull back a bit and focus my attention on the sensitive head of his dick. I feel his fingers tighten their grip and his head thuds back against the door as he groans and his hips jerk forward helplessly. I suck harder and feel another burst of saltiness spread on my tongue. I know he'll cum soon but I can't wait to be touched, so I unfasten my own pants and pull my cock out, grasping and pulling it urgently as he bucks into my mouth.

"Nearly there…" he hisses. "Fuck… I love it when you touch yourself."

I look up at him as I suck, and he's looking down at me, watching the movement of my arm as I jack myself off. I can tell from the hitch of his breathing and the erratic, needy movements of his hips that he's nearly there. I pull on his hips, encouraging him to fuck my mouth. I relax my throat and let him slide in and out, faster and harder until his fingers clench tight in my hair. He gives a strangled moan and I feel the hot spurt of his cum flood my mouth. I swallow around him and carry on sucking until his fingers finally relax.

He gently pulls my head away and his cock slips from my mouth. I'm still moving my hand furiously. He pulls me to my feet, turning me round to push me up against the door in his place, and drops to his knees in front of me. I direct my cock between his waiting lips and he only has to suck a few times before I'm cumming too, cursing and moaning and gasping his name as my hips buck and my legs wobble. He holds me up with firm hands on my hips as he swallows. Once he's released my dick I let my legs give out and slide down the door to sprawl against it.

"Fuck, that was hot," I murmur, pulling him over to straddle my lap. I kiss him breathlessly, holding him close and he kisses me back, humming his approval.

We brush the dust and sawdust off our clothes as best we can, but I have an oil stain on my ass that isn't going anywhere. Luckily my jeans are dark so it's not very noticeable – so Jasper assures me when he inspects my butt once we're back out in the brightly lit corridor.

We head up to the library and get a little studying done before lunch. I keep pausing over my History essay and thinking about what we just did. I can't believe I just had sex in school – okay not _actual_ sex but close enough. It was risky but incredibly fucking hot and every time the thought of it pops back into my head I find myself flushing and suppressing a self-satisfied smirk.

Jasper sits next to me at lunch again. This is my preferred seating arrangement. I find it easier to act cool when I don't have to look at him across the table. Also this way, I get to touch him accidentally-on-purpose every now and again.

"So are you going to Tyler's tomorrow night, Edward?" Rose asks me.

"Yeah, I guess." I know I sound less than enthusiastic but that's because I am.

"Course you are, man," Emmett booms in his usual outdoor voice. "You can't miss an end of term party, everyone's gonna be there. You're coming aren't you Jas?"

"Sure thing," Jasper replies easily. "Wouldn't miss it."

"Maybe you two will manage to score – it's been a while but I reckon you're in with Jessica, Edward. She was all over you at my party," Emmett grins at me and raises his eyebrows encouragingly.

"Yeah, she's not really my type," I reply through gritted teeth. "Way too pushy."

"She's pretty though." Damn Emmett and his persistence. "And I think Lauren wants another round with you, Jas." I clench my fists reflexively and school my face into calm neutrality.

"Been there, done that," Jasper drawls.

"Jesus, what is wrong with you two," Emmett rolls his eyes.

XOXOXOXOX

I talk to Jasper on the phone later that night.

"I'm fucking dreading this stupid party, the last one was a nightmare," I complain, lying on my back on my bed, phone in hand.

"It wasn't _all_ bad if I remember correctly," Jasper's voice is teasing.

"Well, no… okay some parts were pretty cool," I grin at the memory. "I just don't want to be fending off chicks all night and worrying about what Emmett and the other guys are thinking."

"Ed, they'll all be too drunk and too busy trying to score themselves to notice. Stick to the plan and we'll be cool."

The plan is that neither of us will drink enough to make any stupid mistakes. I've already decided that I'm going to drive and will give Jasper a ride home. That way we get to have some time alone together too. Our parents won't be expecting us home any time before the small hours of the morning. So we can leave the party late enough not to make our friends suspicious, but can then take our time getting home and will park up somewhere for a while.

"Okay, I hope you're right," I sigh. "I'm just looking forward to the drive home so much more than the actual party."

"Me too." I can tell from his voice that he's smiling.

* * *


	15. Chapter 15

As designated driver for the night I've offered to give Mike and Erik a ride to Tyler's as well. They're both planning to crash at Tyler's place after the party, so they won't need a ride home. I pick up Jasper first. His mom opens the door and asks me in to wait while she shouts upstairs for him.

Rose has already left. She's driving too and Emmett's going with her. Jasper comes hurrying down the stairs and my heart flutters at the sight of him.

"Hey, Ed," he greets me with a warm smile and I stare at him, a little dazzled by his presence as usual.

"You look nice, dear," his mother says approvingly. She's not wrong.

Jasper mostly dresses very casually. Jeans, t-shirts and hoodies are his usual attire. But tonight he's paired a nicer-than-usual pair of indigo jeans with a pale silvery-gray sweater that clings to his lean torso in a way that makes the breath catch in my throat. He's got heavy boots on his feet instead of his usual sneakers. As he reaches past me for his black leather jacket that's hanging on a hook in the hallway I catch a hint of cologne. It's fresh and citrusy and pleasant, but makes me want to bury my nose in his neck and see if I can still smell Jasper underneath.

As we walk out to the car together in the dark, he deliberately brushes his fingers against mine. Once we're safely in the privacy of the car he puts his hand on my thigh and squeezes gently as I pull out of the driveway. The residential streets in his neighborhood are dark and tree-lined. I pull up a few blocks away in a patch of darkness between the pools of light cast by the street lamps. I cut the engine and turn to face him. I feel anxious and jittery and the words spill out of me unchecked.

"I need to kiss you before we get there. I need to remind myself…" I pause, searching for the right words to express how I feel. "I just… I need to remind myself that you're _mine_."

His eyes are intense, almost glowing in the dim light. He reaches slowly across to slide his hand along my jaw and closes the gap between us.

"And you're mine," he whispers. The words brush my lips in a quiet rush of air before the warmth of his mouth is on mine. Tender and hot and achingly sweet all at once.

"I'm scared," I murmur when he pulls back a little. "I'm scared of people finding out about this before we're ready, and that it will fuck things up for us."

"I know," he says, his thumbs tracing gentle, reassuring circles at my temples. "But, Edward, whatever happens… nothing can fuck this up unless we let it. Nobody can stop us from loving each other."

My eyes widen at his words and I forget to breathe. He freezes with his fingers in my hair, his eyes shocked as he realizes what he's just said. The sudden vulnerability in his expression makes my heart swell in my chest.

"I do love you," I choke out. "I really fucking love you, Jas." The relief of saying the words I've been keeping in for the last week or so makes my voice rough and my eyelids prickle.

"Well that's a fucking relief," he says shakily, and then both of us are laughing and kissing and hugging and whispering the words into each other's skin.

Eventually we stop reluctantly, grinning like idiots as we straighten our hair and wipe each other's spit off our lips. I drive to Mike's house next and Jasper keeps his hand on my thigh until we get there and he has to break the contact. I miss the warmth and connection immediately, but feel as though I'm cocooned in a bubble of happiness that nothing can penetrate. _Jasper loves me_.

XOXOXOXOX

The party is already in full swing when we get there. Tyler's parents have escaped to a hotel for the night, with the warning that there will be no more parties ever if the house gets messed up, or if there are complaints from the neighbors. There is music audible from the street outside but given that it's still relatively early it's not anti-socially loud.

We head inside and Mike and Erik predictably go straight to the kitchen to find the keg. Jasper gets a beer too but I'm avoiding alcohol altogether so get myself a soda from the fridge.

Tyler's house isn't as big as Emmett's and mercifully they don't have a hot tub, so at least I won't have to deal with trying to control myself around a half-naked, wet Jasper at this party. We head for the living room, pushing our way through the throng of people. There are an awful lot of bodies crowded into a small space. The lights are dim and the music pounds. It's hot and claustrophobic and I'm glad that I'm wearing a button down rather than a sweater. Jasper is looking flushed and there's a light sheen of sweat on his forehead already. People are standing around in groups, talking, drinking and laughing and in the middle of the room a group of girls are dancing to the music booming from the speakers.

We separate and slowly work our way around the room, chatting to different people. I end up talking to Ben and Angela for a while and Bella and Jake come over and join us. Jake has his huge arm curved around Bella's slender shoulders and they look happy together. I'm glad for them and am pleased that Bella and I are still good friends after our short-lived relationship.

I try not to look across at Jasper too often but can't help it. Every time I catch his eye I have to stop myself from grinning at him, like the lovesick idiot that I am. Knowing that he feels the same makes me feel safe. Nothing can touch us.

As the evening progresses the noise level in the room increases exponentially. More people start dancing and I find myself being dragged into the mass of moving bodies by a determined Jessica. _Play the game, Edward_ , I tell myself and allow her to take my hand and pull me along. I notice with amusement that Jasper is in a similar situation with Lauren. She's squeezed up against him by the people around them and is running her nails over his torso as she grinds against him. The expected flare of jealousy doesn't materialize this time. I know that he has no interest in her so I don't feel threatened in the slightest.

I hate dancing. It doesn't come naturally to me, so I sway and do my best not to step on people's feet while Jessica twists her body enthusiastically in moves obviously designed to impress me. The crowd ebbs and flows around us and when I catch a whiff of Jasper's cologne I realize that we're back to back. I deliberately shift backwards just enough, so that I can feel his ass against mine as he moves in time to the beat. He pushes back against me, a subtle, but unmistakable pressure and I grin. Jessica beams back, assuming that the smile is for her.

The warm press of Jasper's body at my back soon has my dick responding predictably. I keep a careful distance from Jessica, not wanting her to feel my erection and get the wrong idea. I don't mind dancing with her but don't want to lead her on. She's not really a bad person and she doesn't deserve to be hurt.

The music changes to something slower and more sensual and she steps closer, trying to wrap her arms around my neck. She feels small and fragile against me and all wrong somehow. I wriggle away, excusing myself, saying that I need the bathroom. I can see the disappointment on her face and smile apologetically before I turn and push my way through to the stairs.

The family bathroom is occupied so I try a few doors and eventually find what is presumably Tyler's parent's room. Their bathroom is unoccupied and I lock myself in, glad of the peace and quiet. Once I'm done in there I'm not in a hurry to rejoin the party. There's a door that leads out onto a balcony on the back of the house and I step out into the darkness.

It's cold outside, but the chill is refreshing after the heat of the party and I breathe deeply, enjoying the rush of icy air as it fills my lungs. I lean out, looking down on the darkness of the garden and let my thoughts wander aimlessly as I listen to the now-muffled sounds of music and revelry from the floor below. I look at my watch, it's eleven already. We'll be able to leave in an hour or so. I feel a rush of blood to my dick in anticipation. I'm not sure how practical it is for two guys over six feet tall to fuck in a Volvo, but I'm determined that we're going to have fun trying. I've even brought my own lube and condoms this time.

I turn when I hear the door of the bedroom open and smile as Jasper puts his head round it. I tap on the glass door to alert him to my presence. The lights in the bedroom are off, so I'm almost invisible out here in the dark. He slips outside to join me, pulling me straight into his arms and kissing my neck. I can feel the heat pouring off him and smell the musky warmth of his skin through the citrus cologne.

"You escaped too," I murmur.

"Yeah," he runs the tip of his nose around the shell of my ear and I shiver.

"I want to go," I sigh.

"Soon," he kisses me softly on the lips. "We need to hang around and be convincing for a little longer."

I huff in frustration, but I know he's right. Then his tongue slides between my lips and I forget to grumble anymore. The kiss is fleeting. We know that someone might walk in at any minute.

"I love you," I whisper as he pulls back, unable to resist telling him again.

"I love you too," his smile is pure unadulterated happiness.

XOXOXOXOX

When we make our way back downstairs the noise and heat is shocking. Most people are already drunk, or well on their way, apart from a few others who are driving. Jasper goes back in ahead of me and I hang back for a few minutes so that we don't enter together.

He does some more dancing but I hang out with the guys at the edge of the room. Mike is drunk and talking shit as usual, enjoying the sound of his own voice. Jessica appears to have given up on me and is making a move on Mike now. She's sitting too close to him and hanging on his every word, giggling loudly at his not-funny jokes. He's lapping it up and it's amusing to watch. People-watching at a party when you're sober is always fun.

I look over at Bella, curled up on Jake's lap in an armchair and spot Emmett and Rose wrapped around each other, making out on the dance floor. I scan the room for Jasper and he's with Lauren again. That girl is persistent. She's draping her arms around his neck and pressing her boobs all over him. Just for a moment I wonder what would actually happen if I marched across the room, pulled him away from her and kissed him in front of the roomful of people. This is exactly why I decided not to drink tonight. If I were drunk I might not be able to stop myself from outing us both.

Finally the first few people start to drift away from the party, so Jasper and I can make our excuses without arousing suspicion. To be honest most of the guys won't notice we're gone anyway, they're too busy partying. Jasper's warned Rose that we aren't going straight home – just so she won't worry that we've had an accident or something. She gives us a knowing smile as we leave.

The car is cold, so I turn the heating on full as we drive and it warms up quickly. I take the road that heads out to the forest. Lots of kids use the nearer rest stops for parking and making out so we drive further up, to where some of the mountain trails begin. We find an empty, wide shoulder off the road and I tuck the car in as close to the trees as possible so it will be almost invisible from the road.

I kill the engine and switch off the headlamps. Silence and darkness rush in and surround us. The only sound is our quiet breathing and I can just make out the shape of him in the faint silvery light of the moon that filters down through the gap in the trees.

"Let's get in the back," I say. "We'll have more space there."

We get out and he helps me fold the seats down in the back. I've packed several blankets in the trunk and we spread them out.

"You're very organized," he teases as we climb in and pull the doors shut, stretching ourselves out as much as we can in the cramped space. The internal lights switch off and we're plunged into darkness again.

"You're one to talk, Mr I-have-lube-in-my-schoolbag," I snort and I hear him laugh. "Anyway, I figured we'll have more fun if we're not freezing our asses off."

"That's true," I feel him sidle closer and a hand creeps around to squeeze my butt. "I'd hate your ass to get frostbite."

We reach out, finding each other's lips by touch. It's weird kissing in the almost total darkness of the car. My other senses feel heightened and I'm aware of every brush of his lips and slide of his tongue and the feeling of his slight stubble scraping mine. His hands are roaming over my ass and his questing fingers slide into my back pocket. I feel him find what's there and his lips stretch into a grin against mine.

"Condoms huh?" he murmurs approvingly, and nips teasingly at my lower lip. He rummages a bit more in my pocket and chuckles. "How many did you bring exactly?"

"Two of them are actually lube," I explain, feeling a flush warm my cheeks. "Pocket packs." I kiss him again.

"You are such a boy scout," he laughs again. His breath is hot on my neck and he rolls me over onto my back and pins me down covering my face and neck with fierce kisses.

"So, do you want me to fuck you?" he whispers breathlessly. "Or do you want to fuck me this time?"

"I want you in me," I reply as I suck on his neck and grind up into him. "I want to be able to see what I'm doing the first time I top."

He groans and grinds back. "I hope we can do that soon, I can't wait to feel your cock in me."

"Me too," I murmur against his salty skin and my cock twitches at the thought.

We stop talking for a while, concentrating on helping each other wriggle out of our clothes. The blankets have warmed up now and we seem to be generating enough heat in the small space of the car for it to be comfortable. It's awkward and we keep bumping our knees and elbows on the sides of the car. I yelp as I bang my head painfully when I sit up to take my shirt off, but finally we're naked, lying on our sides facing each other.

Our legs are tangled together and we're pressed up against each other as we kiss messily and hungrily. Jasper has both of our dicks in his hand and is jacking us both off slowly. We're already slick with pre-cum and moaning into each other's mouths.

"Jas," I pull back, afraid of coming too soon. "Stop… I don't wanna cum yet. I want you inside me."

"Fuck, yeah… me too," he gasps, releasing our cocks after one last long pull of his hand.

"How are we gonna do this?" I ask as I roll away from him, feeling around for my pants to get the supplies out of my pocket. I haven't really thought through the logistics of this.

He moves up behind me and I feel the hot, wet press of his cock against my ass. "This should work," he murmurs, licking my shoulders and sliding a hand around my hips. "Give me the lube."

I pass it back to him and wait, every sense on alert. I hear the rip of the packet and the wet sounds of lube. The sudden cool press of his fingers makes me gasp. I bend my upper leg and move it forward to give him more access.

"Fuck, Ed, you're so _hot_ inside," he moans as his finger worms its way into me. I hiss at the now-familiar stretch and burn, but push back, welcoming him in. He slides his finger in and out slowly and I gasp and reach back to clutch his hip as he adds another. He pumps them in and out of me as he kisses my shoulder-blades soothingly. I hitch my hips back and whimper, biting down on my lip. It's amazing but it's not enough.

"I want you so much," my voice is high-pitched and needy. The comforting shield of the darkness makes me vocal, strips away my inhibitions. "I want your cock in me… _please, Jas_ ," I beg, pushing my ass shamelessly back against his fingers.

"Condom," he mutters urgently, his teeth grazing my shoulder. I press the packet into his hand. His fingers slide out of me and I clench, wanting to be filled. I hear the wrapper tear and he curses as he fumbles around behind me. Finally I feel him pulling my cheeks apart, smearing more lube around my hole and trying to line himself up. He's frantic in his haste to get inside me and I'm unable to help in this position. He tries unsuccessfully a couple of times and we both groan and chuckle in frustrated amusement as he slips away and pokes me in the balls with his dick. At last he manages it, and I sigh in relief as he pushes inside me, hot and hard. The stretch burns and stings but it's _so fucking good_.

"God, Edward," he gasps, clutching my hips in a desperate grip as he thrusts slowly in and out of me.

I turn my head awkwardly, wanting to kiss him and bend my arm round to pull on his hair. Our lips meet and the angle's weird and uncomfortable but I don't care. I need the connection.

"Harder," I hiss through gritted teeth and he speeds up his movements. I brace my free arm against the side of the car so I can push back and meet him as he bucks his hips into me. He's panting and groaning and I feel the car rocking with the force of his thrusts. Each hot slide of his cock drags over the sensitive spot inside me. I'm moaning incoherently and begging him to touch my dick, needing to cum right the fuck now. Just when I wonder if I could orgasm without my cock being touched at all, he reaches over my hip and curls his fingers around me. He thrusts even deeper inside as he grips me tight, forcing my cock through the curl of his fist. I shatter, crying out and throwing my head back. I feel his teeth biting down on the skin where my neck meets my shoulder as we both cum, shuddering and twitching against each other.

Afterwards I pull away quickly. Although I love the feel of him inside me, I need to be able to kiss him properly. I turn in his arms and we hold each other close, whispering more I-love-yous between kisses. The sweat cools on our bodies and we pull the blankets up around us. The rest of the world has ceased to exist. All that matters is Jasper.

Eventually the chill of the night forces us to get dressed and head home. The interior of the car is so cold that our breath is visible as we huff with the effort of wriggling awkwardly back into our cold, damp clothes. The windows are completely steamed up which makes us giggle. I'm so high on love and Jasper that everything makes me grin like an idiot. It takes us forever to get dressed as we keep getting distracted and having to stop to make out some more, but finally we manage it.

I pull up on the street outside Jasper's driveway.

"So, I'll see you again before Christmas?" He says hopefully.

"Yeah, definitely," I pause. "Actually I was wondering… do you wanna go to Port Angeles with me on Monday? I need to do some Christmas shopping, and I thought maybe we could go to a movie or something too."

"Are you asking me out on a date?" His teeth catch the light as he grins.

"Um… yeah, I guess," I reply with a chuckle. "So, what do you think?"

"I think it's a great idea," he leans forward and captures my lips with his own.

"See you on Monday then," I sigh when he pulls back.

"I'll call you tomorrow," he promises as he gets out of the car. I watch him walk away until he disappears into the darkness of his driveway. I smile all the way home.

* * *


	16. Chapter 16

I sleep late on Saturday and don't leave the house all day. Jasper and I keep in regular contact through texts and g-chat and phone calls. It's not the same as being with him but it's pretty cool all the same. I just love talking to him, his easy humor makes me laugh and we never run out of things to say to each other.

Now that I know that he feels the same way about me as I do about him, I feel optimistic about our relationship. I'm still daunted at the prospect of having to tell people that I'm gay, but with Jasper by my side I know I'll find the courage. I'm almost looking forward to telling my parents now, but still want to wait until after the holidays, just in case it causes any tension.

On Sunday my dad has a rare day off, so we've agreed to spend the day together as a family. It's a dry, clear day so the four of us head out for a hike in the woods. We used to do a lot of this when Alice and I were younger, but it's been a while since we've all hiked together. We take a picnic and make a day of it and it's good spending time together. I leave my phone at home, knowing that I won't have a signal most of the time anyway. Jasper lurks constantly at the edge of my thoughts. I have to keep biting my tongue to stop myself from mentioning him in conversation.

We're all exhausted and ravenous when we get home. Dad orders pizzas and we collapse on the sofas after dinner for a while. Eventually I make my excuses and head up to my room so I can call Jasper. We talk for ages about nothing in particular. I just like hearing the sound of his voice.

Later on I find some porn to watch and fantasize about fucking Jasper while I jack myself off with long, slow strokes. I'm still nervous about the thought of fucking him, about getting it wrong or not making it good enough for him. I want to try it though, I want to know how it feels to be buried inside him and feel him cum around me. I feel the tension build and I grip myself tightly and climax with a gasp, imagining his ass clenching around my cock as I spill into my hand.

I know Jasper wants to do it soon. Maybe we can try it next time we manage to have some time alone. Mom and Alice were talking about going to see a chick flick in Port Angeles one night this week. I'm hoping that they'll go on a night when my dad is working.

XOXOXOXOX

On Monday we take my car to Port Angeles for the afternoon. It's cold and wet, the raindrops small but copious. The rhythmic swish of the wipers is hypnotic and I'm glad of Jasper's company to stop me from zoning out on the drive.

"When we get there, I'll uh... need to sneak off on my own for half an hour at some point," I confess.

"Oh, okay," he says, surprised.

"It's just that there's something I want to get for you for Christmas," I explain, feeling a little awkward. "I mean, that's okay right? I was assuming we'd get each other something... it's no big deal."

He chuckles and puts a reassuring hand on my leg and squeezes. "It's fine. Of course I'm getting something for you too. I'm just super-organized and did my shopping online already. But no problem, I can hang out and browse for a while."

"Actually I was hoping you might help me find something for Alice," I reply. "I've already got gifts for my parents but I haven't managed to find anything good for her yet."

"Yeah, I think you need to get her something extra-cool this year," he says thoughtfully. "I'll see what I can find."

We decide to do our separate shopping first and head in opposite directions along the wet streets. I pull my hat down low and put the collar of my coat up to try and stop the rain from getting down my neck. I should have worn a scarf.

I've already bought Jasper a couple of music CDs that I think he'll like but want to try and find something a little more personal. I don't really like shopping for other people; I always find it hard to think about what they'll like. But I saw some cool leather bracelets in a surf shop here a while back and I can imagine Jasper wearing one.

I take a while choosing because the shop has quite a selection. I end up picking one that has three strands of leather. Two are thicker and stamped with a tribal looking design. The thinner one is threaded with a mixture of metal and wooden beads. It's beautiful but definitely masculine looking. I can totally imagine it wrapped around Jasper's wrist. I decide to go for it and hope that he'll like it.

It's small enough that I can put the bag in my pocket, so I tuck it away and then dig out my phone to text Jasper and find out where he is. He replies with a shop name and tells me he's looking at something that might do for Alice.

I find him in a small, alternative looking shop that's overflowing with candles, crystals and ethnic looking carved ornaments. The cloying, sweet smell of incense is overpowering as I enter the shop. It's small and poky and there are fairy lights and mobiles hanging from the ceiling beams. I have to duck my head to avoid them. Jasper's looking at some cabinets with jewelry in them.

"I think this would look good on Alice," he says, pointing at a delicate silver necklace with amber beads. "Do you think she'd like it?"

I move up next to him to get a better view and our shoulders brush. "Yeah," I nod. "I think she would, it's really pretty and definitely her kind of thing."

He turns his head and smiles at me and I gaze back, distracted by his beauty. His face is wet from the rain and his cheeks are flushed. I want to kiss him but I take his hand instead, just for a moment and curl my fingers into the palm of his hand. He squeezes back before we break the contact.

We attract the attention of the girl behind the counter and she wraps the necklace carefully while I pull out some cash to pay for it.

"This is gorgeous," the girl says, smiling at me. "Is it for your girlfriend?"

"Uh... no," I reply, flushing slightly as Jasper's elbow brushes against mine. "It's for my sister actually."

"Oh, well it's lovely," she ties a bow around the gift-wrapped package. "I hope she'll like it."

I thank her as she hands me my change, and we head back out into the rain.

We visit a few more shops, each of us buying a couple more last-minute gifts. Then we decide to go and see a movie. It's too wet and cold to hang around outside and we're bored of shopping.

"What do you want to see?" I ask Jasper.

"I don't mind," he says with a shrug. "You choose."

"I don't know," I say. "There isn't really anything in particular I want to watch."

"Edward," he murmurs quietly, standing close now so that no one around us can hear. "I just wanna make out with you in the dark, so it would be better if we choose something you don't give a shit about watching."

I laugh. "Well in that case, which of these movies do you think will have the least other people watching it?"

We end up picking some low budget action movie that neither of us has even heard of. It turns out to be a good choice, since apart from a few younger teenagers who sit right up the front there is no one else there at all. We get popcorn and soda and sit right at the back with our feet up on the seats in front of us.

At first we do watch the movie – at least we watch it enough to laugh at how shit it is while we eat our way through the popcorn. Jasper holds it on his lap and sometimes we both reach for it at the same time and our fingers brush. When the tub is empty Jasper shoves it under the seat and takes my hand, lacing our fingers together on the armrest. He draws circles on my palm with his thumb until I'm shifting in my seat. I'm impatient, but nervous about making out in a public place even though I know that the darkness of the movie theater gives us almost total privacy.

I glance sideways at Jasper and see that he's turned to face me. The flickering light from the moving images on the screen play over his features. I take in his full lips, the curve of his cheekbone and the intent in his eyes. My body is turning in my seat before I'm consciously aware of it, drawn in by the desire etched on his features.

Keeping his grip on my hand he reaches his other arm around and slides it into my hair, pulling my face towards his. We kiss urgently, needing more contact than we can manage in these stupid seats. We lean into each other and then both of his hands are in my hair and mine slide around his shoulders to pull him closer. It's awkward and a little frustrating, but it's better than nothing so we manage for a while.

Eventually he pulls away from my lips and murmurs in my ear. "If we carry on like this I'm gonna need a change of underwear, I'm so fucking sticky just from making out."

"Bathroom?" I gasp.

I can't quite believe what I'm suggesting, but with Jasper's breath hot in my ear and his tongue dragging along the sensitive skin just below the angle of my jaw, the need for more contact is all I can think about.

He stiffens and pulls back to look in my eyes. "Are you sure?" he mutters huskily and I just nod, my heart racing. I need him like a drug.

He grabs my hand and pulls me up. I adjust my erection hastily and smirk as he does the same. We slip out of the theater and head for the nearest bathroom. Thankfully it's unoccupied and no one sees us enter. We head for the stall furthest from the door and lock it behind us.

Jasper wastes no time. He pushes me up against the wall and kisses my neck as he slides his hands under my t-shirt. He pushes it up and brings his mouth lower and I gasp and bang my head on the wall as his hot tongue flickers over a nipple. He chuckles and his breath tickles making me gasp again. I bring my hands to his hair and pull his lips back up to mine because I want to feel his tongue in my mouth again. He tastes of salty popcorn and the sweetness of the soda still lingers.

His hands are on my fly, pulling and tugging impatiently and once he's freed my cock he hurries to unfasten his own pants. I groan as I feel the heat of his dick against mine and pull away to look down at where they touch. We're both rock hard and leaking. Jasper takes his cock in his hand and rubs the head against mine, smearing our wetness together. It's the hottest fucking thing I've ever seen. He wraps his hand around both of us and we lean our foreheads together and watch as he slides his hand up and back. The hot press of his shaft against mine and the sweep of his thumb over the head are almost too much.

" _Fuck_ ," I whisper. "That feels amazing."

"Good," he murmurs back and shoves our jeans and underwear down around our hips with his free hand.

I push his t-shirt up, feeling the hardness of his ribs and muscles as I slide my hands over him. We settle back down to watch his hand, our cheeks pressed together, foreheads resting on each other's shoulders. He grips my hip with his free hand and I grab his ass with both of mine as he moves his hand faster over our cocks. I hear his breathing quicken and his face is hot against mine. I thrust slightly into the tightness of his fist and he does the same. We find a rhythm, our cocks sliding together, the heads brushing, slick and wet.

"Can you cum like this?" he murmurs, lips grazing my cheek as the insistent tug of his hand continues.

"Hell, yeah," I gasp in reply. "I'm nearly fucking there."

He grunts and speeds up the movement of his hand, gripping tighter, pulling harder and just as my legs begin to shake with the onset of orgasm we hear the sound of the bathroom door opening. We pull back to stare at each other but I can't hold back and I throw my head forward, sinking my teeth into the shoulder of his leather jacket as I cum, my whole body shuddering with the effort of keeping silent.

Jasper strokes me through my climax while some oblivious person is taking a piss in one of the urinals just a few yards away. And then Jasper's coming too, spurting hot and wet over his hand and my cock as he buries his face in my neck and pants soundlessly. I wrap my arms around him and hold him tight, trying to breathe silently and contain the sudden wild desire to laugh. We stay, locked together, frozen. Finally we hear the welcome sounds of water running in a sink, retreating footsteps and the sound of the door, and then silence.

"Fuck!" I finally let out the breath I've been holding, and we both laugh from relief and shared elation and kiss each other again, just because we can.

Luckily for us there's toilet paper in the stall. Neither of us had thought to check when we stumbled in, we were way too horny to notice useful details like that. Most of the cum has ended up on Jasper's hand so it's not too hard to clean up and make ourselves look respectable.

We slink back into our seats and hold hands for the rest of the movie. Occasionally one or the other of us leans over to steal a kiss. Even though I know no one is looking at us, the novelty of being able to touch him in a public place is thrilling.

XOXOXOXOX

After the movie has ended we wander around for a while, trying to decide where to go and eat. The rain has eased off but there's still fine drizzle in the air, the sort that gets you wetter than you realize. By the time we settle on a little cozy-looking Italian restaurant I can feel the water trickling down my collar from the dripping ends of my hair.

The waitress approaches us with a smile and asks us where we want to sit. Jasper nods towards a booth in the corner; it's tucked away and out of sight of the window. We sit opposite each other and she hands us menus and takes our order for drinks right away.

When she returns with our sodas she smiles again, looking at both of us with unmistakable interest. My lips twitch, knowing she's doomed to disappointment.

"Are you ready to order?" She bites her lip as she looks up from her pad through her lashes.

"Yeah, I think so," Jasper replies meeting her eyes and grinning charmingly. I suppress a smile as she blushes. Poor girl, she doesn't stand a chance – I should know.

We order our food. Pizza for him, pasta for me but we've already agreed we're going to share. When she goes away again I fix him with a mock-glare.

"Quit flirting with the waitress!"

HHhhhasdkH"I'm not," he laughs. "I'm just being friendly. I can't help it if I'm irresistible."

"You're so modest," I snort. Attempting to deny that I find him irresistible seems fairly futile given the evidence.

When our food arrives, we each dig into our own at first. But once we've made some space on our plates we share, passing food across the table awkwardly and trying to avoid knocking over the water jug. I feel Jasper's knee press against mine under the table, I press back as I take the pizza he's passing to me.

It feels weirdly like a first date, because it's the two of us out, alone in a restaurant together and we haven't done this before. But given that we've moved so far past the first date stage of our relationship in other ways, there's none of the nervousness. We can just relax and enjoy each other's company.

"So, it's cool that we've applied to some of the same colleges," he says, sitting back and looking at me once we've cleared our plates.

"Yeah, it is," I smile tentatively. We haven't talked about this yet and I'm glad he's brought it up.

"I know it's early for us, but I really hope we'll still be together by then," he looks at me seriously.

"Me too." I can't imagine this not lasting. What we have between us is something special, I'm sure of it, but it's hard to put into words. "So which college is your first choice?"

"Well I'd love to get into Berkeley but I don't think that's likely," he frowns. "But UCSF is my second choice and I think I have a good shot at getting in there. Do you think you'll end up at Berkeley?"

"Honestly, I think so," I say. "My SAT scores were good and I know my recommendations are too."

"If I end up at UCSF that would be cool," he grins. "We could easily see each other every weekend."

His hand is lying on the table next to his plate and I reach for it without even thinking, laying mine on top of it. He flips his hand over, palm up and takes mine, running his thumb over my knuckles. Our eyes lock for a moment and we smile at each other, excited at the possibility of a shared future.

We're interrupted by the waitress clearing her throat politely. Neither of us has noticed her approach. Her eyes drop to our joined hands and she grins ruefully.

"I should have guessed," she says. "The best-looking ones are almost always gay."

Jasper laughs while I blush, but I leave my hand in his. We ask for the bill, both too full for dessert and she goes off to fetch it. When she returns we split the bill between us and pay in cash. Jasper excuses himself and goes to the bathroom and is still gone when the waitress comes back.

"He's gorgeous," she says to me with a sigh. "I love blonds."

"Me too," I smile at her.

We leave her a generous tip when we leave, and she grins and waves goodbye as we head out the door.

Out in the street it's dark and wet as we walk back to my car. The rain has returned and is falling in earnest now. We walk through the rain-wet streets, splashing through puddles. There's hardly anyone around and in a sudden rush of boldness I take Jasper's hand and turn to look at him. The raindrops that cling to his eyelashes shine like tiny crystals in the dim light from the streetlamps. His breath is making clouds in the cold air and he stares back at me.

We both move at the same time, reaching for each other. His lips are cold but his breath is warm and so is his tongue when it touches mine. We wind our arms around each other's waists and press our bodies close as we kiss. A passing car toots its horn at us and we pull apart for a moment to grin at each other before pressing our lips together again.

* * *


	17. Chapter 17

Tuesday passes quietly at home. I spent most of the day studying for the exams I've got coming up after Christmas. Jasper's doing the same at his house. We motivate ourselves to get some work done by rewarding ourselves with regular g-chat breaks.

Later in the afternoon I help Mom and Alice decorate the house. Our tree went up last week but today we're bringing in greenery from the garden to drape over the picture frames. We also have a set of Christmas lights to hang around the mirror that sits over the mantelpiece in the living room. By the time we've finished it's dark outside and we put the new lights on along with the tree lights. Mom makes hot chocolate and we sit and drink it while we admire our handiwork.

"So, Edward," Mom says. "Alice and I are going to see a movie in Port Angeles tomorrow night, are you sure you don't want to come too? Your father's working so it would only be the three of us."

"No thanks," I reply. "You're going to some chick flick aren't you? I've got studying to do anyway."

The only thing I intend to be studying is Jasper's ass. From the sly look that Alice shoots me I have a sneaking suspicion that she has a fairly good idea of what I'll be doing tomorrow night. Well, hopefully not _exactly_ what I'll be doing.

"I don't think Edward's really into romantic comedy, Mom," Alice grins. "Anyway it'll be fun having a girl's night."

I call Jasper later and tell him to get his ass over here tomorrow evening, because I'll have the house to myself.

"Awesome," he replies, sounding pleased. "Is this gonna be the last time we see each other before Christmas?"

"Yeah, I guess it probably will be," I say.

Thursday is Christmas Eve and we'll both be busy for several days after that. Jasper has grandparents coming to visit and will be expected to be around. We don't have any house guests this year, but Christmas Eve and Christmas Day are sacred family time in the Cullen household. Then on the day after Christmas we're driving over to Port Townsend to spend the day with my mom's cousin and her family.

"On the Monday after Christmas my parents are going away overnight to visit friends," he says. "So if I can get rid of Rose for a while, we can hang out here then."

"Won't Emmett be there, making the most of the opportunity?" I ask, grinning to myself.

"Huh. Yeah, I guess," he replies, sounding disappointed. "He'll probably stay overnight, but I'll see if I can sweet talk Rose into getting him to take her out on a date so we can have some time to ourselves."

"That would be cool," I say. "Do you want to exchange gifts then? Or do it tomorrow?"

"Let's save them 'till after Christmas," he says. "I don't like opening my presents early."

"Okay," I reply. "Sounds good to me."

XOXOXOXOX

I call Jasper as soon as Mom and Alice leave.

He laughs when he hears my voice. "This is a total booty call isn't it?"

"Absolutely," I say decisively. "You got a problem with that?"

"Nope," he replies. "I'll be there in a few."

Once he's hung up, I pace anxiously, waiting for the sound of his car. I hear the scrunch of his tires on the gravel of the driveway and go to the door to greet him. He looks gorgeous, as always, and I feel a rush of love twisted up with desire. I still find it hard to compute that this beautiful boy is mine.

This is one of those times when we can't wait to touch each other. We know we only have a few hours alone so every second is precious. We don't even stop to talk; I just take his hand and lead him up the stairs to my room.

I pull him down onto my bed and we kiss, stripping off clothes and kicking off shoes. We only separate briefly to pull our t-shirts over our heads and to free our feet from tangled underwear and pants. Once we're naked we revel in the feeling of skin on skin, kissing every inch that we can reach as our hands reacquaint themselves with the form and texture of each other's bodies.

I crawl down the bed to take Jasper's dick in my mouth and suck him until he pulls me away and switches places, pumping the base of my cock while he focuses on the head with his lips and tongue. Then he moves back up and we kiss some more while he grinds into me, sliding our slippery cocks together against our bellies. I pull away from his lips and lower my mouth to his neck, feeling the softness of his skin and smelling the warm heat of him.

"I want to fuck you," I murmur. "I want to be inside you."

"Fuck, Edward..." his voice is low and desperate. "Yeah, fuck me. I wanna feel your cock in me."

I roll him over so he's on his back and rummage in my bedside cabinet for lube and a condom. I position myself between his legs and prepare him with my fingers. He's so hot and tight around me, I'm worried that I won't last even a second.

"God, Jas. You feel amazing… I'm worried I'll cum right away," I bite my lip and flush.

He looks back at me, his eyes glazing as my fingers work him open. "It doesn't matter, we can just do it again later. I don't care, I want you."

"Jas, I... I've never done this before..." I pause, flustered. "I mean, you already know that I've never done _this_ before. But I never had sex with Bella. We fooled around, blow jobs and hand jobs but never more than that."

My fingers are still inside him and I feel his muscles clench around me as he reaches up and pulls me down to kiss him again.

"I'm glad," his voice is gruff as he pulls back and looks at me. "I'm glad I get to be your first." Then he grins at me. "And don't worry about coming too soon, if this is your first time it's practically expected. I think I managed about sixty seconds, seriously."

His words make me chuckle and my nervousness dissipates like smoke in the wind. "I love you," I say. He doesn't need to say it back for me to know he feels the same, it's written all over his face.

I drop a soft kiss on his lips before sitting back. I pump my fingers in and out of him a few more times. The slick sounds make my cock ache and Jasper moans and pushes against me, palming his erection impatiently. I slide my fingers out slowly and reach for the condom, but Jasper beats me to it. He rips it open and sits up to roll it expertly down my length. Then he lies back, pliant and expectant, holding his knees up and back to make it easier for me. I slick my cock with lube and move forward, biting my lip in concentration as I guide myself to his entrance. It looks impossible, way too small for me to fit inside. I press against him gently and curse as I miss and slide back and away from where I need to be.

"Shit, sorry," my face flames.

"It's okay," his voice is reassuring as he reaches down to help me. "Here, now push."

I do as he says, feeling resistance at first but then groan in amazed pleasure as I feel him open up for me. I pause, panting, just the head of my cock inside him. It's so fucking hot and tight and sort of like I imagined it would be, only even better. I look down at where we're joined and can see him stretched around me.

"Oh my God," I gasp, breathless.

"I know, right?" he grins back, his face flushed and breath coming fast like mine. "Feels fucking good doesn't it?"

"Fuck, yes," I breathe. "Is that okay? Does it hurt?"

"It's fine, c'mon, just go slowly at first." He grabs my hips and pulls me deeper.

I feel him engulf me until my whole cock is surrounded by him. I pause again, because I need to kiss him. Our lips collide messily and hungrily and then our bodies start to move against each other. He pushes up against me and pulls at my hips, encouraging me to move, so I do. I lift my head so I can see his face as I start to move in and out of him. I'm already dangerously close to orgasm.

"I'm not gonna last," I warn him.

"It's okay, just go for it," he encourages me. "I'm close too."

He takes his cock in his hand and starts to pump it hard and fast. The sight of him doing that as I fuck him makes me moan. I feel the heat, coiling in my groin and my balls tighten. I thrust harder, gasping and crying out. _Fuck, Jas… fuck, ohhh fuck!_ Heat rips through me, making my whole body arch as my hips stutter and I jerk and twitch inside him.

"Fuck… you're so fucking beautiful when you cum," Jasper hisses, his hand moving faster. My dick is still hard so I start moving again. His neck and chest are flushed with heat and he's slick with sweat. His hand is a blur now and then he's pulsing around me. Spunk splatters his belly and chest as an incoherent slew of curses and moans fall from his lips. I keep moving while he rides out his orgasm and then he grabs my shoulders and pulls me down, sliding one hand up to tangle in my hair as we kiss and kiss until we separate to take gasping breaths and chuckle with elation and wonder.

I pull away and bury my face in his neck and his hands move gently over my shoulders, stroking and soothing as my breathing gradually slows.

"Thank you," I mutter, tasting the salt of his sweat on my lips.

"My pleasure," he chuckles, turning his head to kiss my cheekbone. "So which do you prefer now that you've tried both? Top or bottom?"

"I don't know," I say. "Both are awesome for totally different reasons. Do you have a preference?"

"Nope – I like both too, so that's cool."

My dick is soft now and I can feel myself starting to slip out of him. I pull away and deal with the condom while he wipes himself clean and passes me tissues to do the same. We put our clothes back on and stay in my room; listening to music, talking and kissing until it's getting near the time that Mom and Alice will be arriving back.

He's lying on his back on my bed and I lean up on one elbow to look down at him. "I know Monday's only a few days away," I say. "But it feels like ages."

"We can talk every day," he offers. "And I know it's not the same, but maybe we can get each other off over the phone again, that was fun." His grin turns dirty.

"I don't only want you for sex you know!" I poke him in the ribs and he retaliates by tickling me ruthlessly in all the places he knows I can't stand, until I beg for mercy. Then he kisses me some more instead until he really has to leave.

I walk him out to his car and we kiss each other thoroughly before he gets in and drives away. I'm shocked at how miserable I feel at the prospect of not seeing him for five days. _It's only five fucking days_. I roll my eyes at myself but it doesn't help. When you're in love, apparently five days feels like fifty if you have to be apart.

XOXOXOXOX

I do enjoy Christmas despite missing Jasper. I hang out at home and we enjoy our usual family traditions of silly games, favorite movies and far too much food. Dad is working a late shift on Christmas Day so we open our gifts in the morning and eat at lunchtime. Mom, Alice and I collapse on the sofas in the afternoon. We complain about how full we feel, while we watch movies and eat more chocolate.

Jasper and I exchange a few texts in the morning but he's busy being sociable with his grandparents for most of the day so we don't get a chance to talk to each other until late that night. I'm already in bed, looking at my Biology notes in a half-assed way, when my phone finally rings.

"Merry Christmas," I say when I pick up.

"Merry Christmas to you too," just the sound of his voice makes me grin. "Have you had a good day?"

"Death by food overdose – can't go wrong," I chuckle. "How about you?"

"We had to sit through boring, long-assed dinner conversations with the grandparents about finance and politics," he groans. "But other than that, it was okay. Rose kept catching my eye and trying to make me laugh, the bitch." I snort; I can totally imagine Rose doing that. "Then they started asking me about girlfriends. Mom's told them all about Rose and Emmett so they wanted to know when I was going to find a _nice girl_ ," I can practically hear the eye roll down the phone.

"So what did you say?" I prompt.

"Just that I was keeping my options open. Really I wanted to tell them that I've already found a nice boy, but given Grandpa's old fashioned attitudes I think I might have given him a heart attack if I'd dropped the G-bomb over Christmas Dinner."

"Yeah," I laugh. "Killing your grandfather with the announcement might not help our cause."

"So when do you wanna tell our parents?" he asks me, suddenly serious. "I don't want to wait too much longer, I'm fed up with the secrecy."

"Me too," I agree. "I was thinking we should do it as soon the holidays are over and we're back in our normal routine. Then if either of them freak out about it, at least we'll be seeing each other every day at school while the dust settles."

"Yeah, that makes sense," Jasper replies. "I think it'll be okay though. And then we need to decide when to tell Emmett."

"I know," I sigh. I know we have to tell Emmett, it's not fair on Rose to ask her to keep it from him. "Let's just worry about our parents first though, yeah? One step at a time."

He chuckles. "You do realize that Emmett is mostly just going to tease us, don't you? I honestly think he'll be more amused than anything. I've never picked up on any homophobic vibes from him."

"You're probably right," I say. "But it still freaks me out. Can we change the subject now?"

"Okay," he agrees. "So… what color underwear have you got on today?"

I laugh outright at that. But my dick responds despite my amusement, because I know immediately where this is leading. "Screw my underwear, let's just put our phones down and get naked."

I'm only wearing boxers so it doesn't take me long. I lie back with my phone in one hand, stroking my already-hard cock with the other while I listen to the sounds of him rustling around at his end.

He's slightly breathless when he picks back up. "Okay, clothes gone. Are you hard yet?"

"Oh yeah," I say feeling my cock stiffening further in my hand. "I'm always hard when I'm thinking about you."

"So what exactly are you thinking about?"

"I'm remembering how you felt the other day when my cock was inside you." I stroke harder, thinking about how tight and hot he felt.

"Mmm," he replies, his breath huffing down the phone. I can imagine him lying there, on his bed with his hand moving over his dick. "Fuck yeah, you felt amazing inside me," he mutters. "I wish you were here now, so you could fuck me again."

We're both silent for a moment, concentrating on sensation. I can hear him breathing hard and I moan quietly as I squeeze my cock in a tight grip. I reach down to tease my balls with my fingertips, slowing down, waiting for him.

"Fuck, Edward," he moans. "I'm remembering how you looked when you came inside me. So fucking hot. All flushed and sweaty and fucking desperate… all for me. I love that I can make you feel like that."

"Oh shit," I gasp, pulling on my cock again. "Yeah, only you can make me feel like that. I want you so much, all the fucking time."

"Are you gonna cum soon?" he asks, his voice strung out with need.

"Yeah," I reply, sliding my hand faster, bucking my hips up with each stroke.

"Ohh…" he cries hoarsely and I hear him moaning and panting as he gasps out his release.

The sound of him coming is enough to bring me to the edge and I cum with a grunt, curling up to watch my cock spurt on my belly, gasping his name. I flop back, exhausted and listen to the sound of his breathing as I come back down.

"Wow," Jasper finally chuckles. "That was awesome."

"Yeah," I agree. "Not as good as the real thing but pretty cool."

"Oh yeah, I nearly forgot," he says. "I spoke to Rose and she's getting Emmett to take her to see a band in Port Angeles on Monday night. So they'll be out all evening."

"Excellent," I say, thrilled at the prospect of another bit of time alone. "So I'll come over then?"

"And don't forget my Christmas present," he says.

"You're so demanding," I chuckle.

"I'm really not, I'm easily pleased. Just put a red ribbon around your cock and I'll be happy."

"Don't joke about it," I warn. "Maybe that's all you're getting."

"Like I said, happy with that." His voice is amused.

The conversation continues aimlessly for a while until we finally agree that we both need to get cleaned up before our jizz turns into glue.

XOXOXOXOX

The family visit on the day after Christmas is surprisingly fun. Mom's cousin and her husband are pretty cool. They have two kids, both much younger than Alice and me. They kind of idolize Alice and me. It's cute. I play a lot of Mario Kart with the ten year old boy, Paul, and Alice spends hours painting eight year old Rebecca's nails and doing elaborate things to her long curly hair. I think their parents are just glad to have someone else to entertain them for a bit.

As I'm chasing Paul's Yoshi around Bowser's Castle with Funky Kong in a Piranha Prowler, it suddenly occurs to me that having a family of my own one day is no longer the foregone conclusion that I'd always assumed it was. Not that I've ever given it a lot of thought – what eighteen year old boy has, really? I guess I'd just always thought that I would get married and have kids eventually. I know that there are ways that I can still be a father, but it makes me feel a bit sad to think that it won't be as easy as it would be if I were straight.

"Damn it!" I curse, as Funky Kong plunges into the lava. Distracted by my musings I've lost concentration and driven right off the track.

"Aw, bad luck, dude," Paul says. But he doesn't sound sorry at all.

Yoshi zooms over the finish line and Paul indulges in a fist pumping victory dance until I pick him up and throw him over my shoulder and toss him on the sofa in a pile of cushions, making him giggle.

I straighten up to see my mom watching us from the doorway. I catch a strange, almost wistful expression on her face but it's fleeting. When she sees me looking she smiles brightly and I think that maybe I only imagined it.

* * *


	18. Chapter 18

By Monday I'm almost embarrassingly excited about seeing Jasper again. It feels like ages since I've seen him. I'm craving his touch and the smell and taste of him. Talking on the phone and stalking his Facebook page to find photos of him only satisfies two of my five senses and it's nowhere near enough.

He calls me just as I'm helping clear up after lunch. I answer on the first ring.

"Hey, man," I say. "Hold on a sec." Then I turn to Alice, who's washing the dishes. "Just leave them on the rack. I'll dry them and put them away later." She grins and nods in response.

I hurry up the stairs to my room so we can talk. Jasper tells me that Rose and Emmett are planning to go out late afternoon. They're eating out somewhere first, before going on to the concert and won't be back until after midnight.

"So do you wanna come over and eat here? We can just order pizza or something."

"Yeah, sounds good. I'll see you later."

I go back down and finish my chores. Mom's still in the kitchen, sitting at the table drinking coffee and flipping through a magazine.

"That was Jasper," I say casually. "I'm going over to his place later to hang out for a while, so I won't be here for dinner if that's okay?"

"That's fine, Honey," she smiles at me.

Her eyes linger on mine just a fraction longer than I'm comfortable with. It's as if she's waiting for me to say more. My heart thuds and I suddenly get the feeling that she knows more than she's letting on. I almost cave and tell her everything. But then I decide to stick to the plan, it's only going to be another week or so and I'd rather tell both my parents together.

Later Alice comes and sits in the living room while I'm playing with the remote, channel surfing aimlessly and waiting for the time to pass.

"So things are going well with Jasper then?" she enquires. "Mom mentioned you were going to his place later. I think she was fishing for information."

"You're probably right," I roll my eyes. "Damn women's intuition. The way she looked at me earlier I'm almost positive she's guessed... but I think she's waiting for me to tell her."

"Sounds like Mom," Alice nods. "She won't push you."

"I'm going to tell them after the holidays. Jasper's telling his folks then too."

"Oh, Edward. That's exciting," she claps her hands. "You guys are so sweet together. It's really serious isn't it?" I blush, but nod and she beams at me. "I'm so happy for you."

XOXOXOXOX

I drive over to Jasper's house once I know Rose and Emmett have gone out. It's not that I mind bumping into Emmett, it's just easier not to have to deal with him or worry about him noticing anything.

Jasper greets me at the door, his face split in two by a huge smile.

"Fuck, I missed you!" he murmurs as he pulls me into his arms and kisses me soundly.

The feeling of his arms around me and the scent of his skin and his hair are overwhelming. I kiss him back hard, sliding my tongue into his mouth to taste him and hum with pleasure as our tongues meet.

"I missed you too," I admit as he detaches himself to close the front door. Luckily his house isn't overlooked from the front or we'd have given his neighbors quite a show.

I still have a bag clutched in one hand and he eyes it with a grin on his face. "So, d'you wanna do the Christmas present thing now?"

"Uh, okay," I shuffle nervously. "But I didn't get you anything very exciting, I'm crap at present-buying."

"Don't worry, Ed," he bumps my shoulder with his, laughing gently. "I'm not expecting anything deep and meaningful. Presents are just fun, I only got you little things too. Come on."

Jasper grabs my hand and drags me through to the living room. He retrieves a bag from under the Christmas tree. We sit on the rug, facing each other, grinning like excited kids. He holds his bag out towards me and I take it, passing mine over to him.

We both empty the contents onto the rug. There are three presents in mine, one bigger, squishy one and two smaller ones.

"I like wrapping stuff separately, there's more to open that way," he explains.

"Me too," I smile. "My family always does it that way."

"Come on then," he says, impatiently. "Let's open them."

We tear into the wrapping paper at the same time. I'm glad that he's distracted by my gifts. I always feel weirdly self-conscious opening presents in front of the person that they're from. I open the biggest one first and pull out a silky-soft woolen scarf in a muted shade of green.

"I thought that color would look nice on you," Jasper says with a shy smile.

"It's awesome, thanks," I wrap it round my neck. "I could have used this in Port Angeles the other day."

"I know," he chuckles. "I was thinking that at the time."

Jasper pulls out a couple of music CDs. I'm pretty familiar with his musical taste and the contents of his iPod, so felt fairly confident choosing something that he'd like. I'd noticed he had a few White Stripes albums, so I picked one he didn't have along with a Raconteurs album that I think is pretty good.

"Thanks, man," he waves them at me. "I've been meaning to get around to getting this White Stripes one for a while, and this looks good too."

We both get back to unwrapping. I watch as Jasper opens the package with the leather bracelet in it. I'm a bit nervous about this one; it's a more personal gift than the CDs.

"This is great," he grins at me, pushing his hair out of his eyes as it falls over his forehead. "I love it. Can you help me tie it on?"

He holds his wrist out to me. It's the sort of bracelet that fastens with a thong so is awkward to tie on yourself. I move closer and sit cross legged beside him so I can reach to fasten it for him. His skin is warm under my fingers and the hairs on his wrist shine golden where they catch the lights from the Christmas tree. When I'm done he holds his arm out to examine it. He looks really pleased.

"What d'you think?"

"I think it suits you," I say truthfully. It looks good wrapped around his strong wrist. "I like seeing you wearing something that I've given you, it's kinda sexy."

I lean in, putting a hand on his thigh for balance and capture his lips with mine. He brings his hands up and pulls me closer by the green scarf that I'm still wearing.

"I know what you mean," he murmurs when he pulls back. "I thought it'd be cool to see you wearing this scarf around school. Then it's like I'm touching you even when I can't." He laughs. "Does that sound really fucking cheesy?"

"Yeah, a little," I tease. "But I like it." And I lean in to kiss him again, sliding my hand up towards his groin.

He hums under my touch but takes my face in both hands, pushing me back gently. "Hey, don't forget to open your other presents."

"Oh yeah, sorry," I chuckle. "You're too distracting."

I lean over to snag the present and tear the paper off one. When I see the contents I smirk and raise my eyebrows at him.

"A bumper pack of condoms. What a practical gift."

"Yeah, well," he looks at me suggestively. "I wouldn't want us to run out now that I've initiated you into the joys of butt-sex would I?"

I snort in amusement at his comment, but have to admit the boy's got a point. He pushes the last present into my hand.

"This one's kind of related," he grins innocently.

"What the fuck?" I giggle as I pull the paper off a small tube. "Glitter lube? Seriously, Jasper."

He laughs aloud. "I don't know. I just found it when I was shopping online and thought it would be kind of festive to have sparkly dicks."

"You're crazy," I roll my eyes as I grab him and kiss him. "So, d'you wanna go up to your room and try it out then?" I murmur as I lick my way down to his ear. He shivers against me and groans.

"Fuck, yeah."

We kiss a little longer, reluctant to break apart. I grope his crotch and feel him, hard and ready for me. I want him, and don't want to wait anymore.

"Come on," I finally say, standing and pulling him up. "Unless you want to risk getting glitter lube on your Mom's rug we'd better take this upstairs."

He pauses to grab the lube and condoms and I lead the way out of the room.

We undress quickly and fall onto his bed in a naked tangle of arms and legs. We lie on our sides kissing for a while, the heat building quickly between us until we're both hard and rubbing against each other. He pushes me onto my back and kneels beside me as he takes my dick in his mouth. I reach for his hips and pull him around, making him straddle me so his cock and balls hang down over my face. I rub my lips back and forth over the slippery-wet head, teasing him. He moans and scrapes his teeth on my cock, just lightly. I take it as a warning and obediently open my mouth, letting him gently push inside. He hums his approval and sucks me in deeper.

My mouth waters and I lick and suck sloppily, feeling the saliva building up in my mouth. I swallow awkwardly around him and he groans at the pressure. I feel his fingers reach back to explore my ass. I do the same, reaching behind his balls to tease the sensitive seam and back further to find his hole, but my finger's too dry to push inside him. I can feel him pushing back against me and I know he wants the stimulation so without thinking about it I pull away from his cock and wriggle back to lick at his balls. I pause there for a while, sucking each of them into my mouth in turn and enjoy the weight of them on my tongue. He's still sucking my dick and the wet heat of his mouth is intense. I keep my focus on what I'm doing to him. I don't want to cum yet and concentrating on making Jasper feel good helps me to keep my orgasm at bay.

I move further back, grabbing his ass and pulling him lower so I can reach the triangle of skin behind his balls with my tongue. I lick and suck at the skin there and he whimpers in a way that makes me smile. My nose is filled with his warm, musky scent. I lick back further and feel the texture of his skin change under my tongue. I know I'm in the right place because he whines and pulls off my cock to gasp and curse.

"Oh my God, Edward… Fuck... that feels so good."

Feeling bold, I slide my tongue over the tightly-furled skin and push at it with my tongue. I lick and suck and it tastes odd. Not unpleasant – just unfamiliar. But Jasper's reactions make it totally worth it, because he squirms and pants and I feel his thighs tremble. He has my dick in one hand and strokes it as he buries his face into my pubic hair and moans. His cock is leaking pre-cum and I feel it drip onto my chest. I reach for him with one hand and grip and slide as I keep up the insistent movement of my tongue.

"Fuck," he groans again. "I'm so close, but I don't wanna cum yet."

I pull back. "Tell me what you want," I say, as I tug on his cock.

"I want you inside me," his voice is low and hungry.

He pulls away and moves around to face me, leaning over and reaching for the new bottle of lube and a condom. He slicks his fingers with the lube and grins, holding them up for me to admire. The light catches the glittery substance.

He sniffs his fingers. "It's flavored too," he reaches down behind his balls and smears the lube around. "My ass is gonna smell like Pina Colada."

I snort with laughter at that, but turn serious again pretty quickly as he starts to prepare himself with his fingers. His cock twitches as he slides his middle finger into his ass. I reach for my dick and stroke it slowly as I watch him pump it in and out a few times before adding another finger.

"Get a condom on," he says breathlessly, as he works his fingers inside himself. "I'm nearly ready."

He doesn't need to ask twice. I grab a condom and tear the wrapper eagerly, rolling it down efficiently. He pulls his fingers out and reaches for the lube, dribbling some over my erection and smearing it with his hand. My cock gleams as the light catches the gold glitter.

"Very pretty," he grins approvingly. "You look good with a sparkly dick."

"Hurry the fuck up and sit on my sparkly dick," I growl at him impatiently and he chuckles as he shifts into position.

I hold my dick firm at the base as he lowers himself onto me. He controls the pace and I lie still and let him surround me, my breath catching in my throat as he slowly takes all of me inside. He throws his head back and bites his lip as he starts to move. At first I let him take charge, watching him ride me. I feel the tightness of his muscles clenching around me with every stroke. His cock is still hard although it's untouched and as he speeds up his movements it bounces around in a way that's kind of amusing but also fucking hot. I grab it and stroke, smearing the wetness at the head.

Jasper grunts with every downwards thrust, his face is pink with exertion and concentration. I start to buck upwards to meet him.

"Is this okay?" I ask.

"Yeah," he gasps. "Feels good, do it harder."

I find a rhythm, using the bounce of the mattress to help me. The bedsprings squeak noisily as his ass slaps down repeatedly on my hips, our breathing is loud and harsh. Jasper's cock is hard and thick in my hand and I can tell that he's close as he starts to groan with each thrust. I speed up the movement of my hips, slamming up into him and grip his dick harder. He climaxes with a loud groan and paints my chest with cum on the first spurt. He carries on pulsing in my hand and I fuck him through it, milking his cock until there's nothing left.

"Fuck, Edward," he sighs. "That was awesome, did you cum yet?"

"No… close though," I grip his hips and encourage him. "Don't stop moving!"

He grins and starts fucking me harder, squeezing me with his internal muscles. He reaches one hand behind to stroke my balls and I cry out as my orgasm crashes through me, sudden and shocking in its intensity. I thrust up into him as I feel myself spill into the condom and collapse back, panting and spent. Jasper leans over and kisses my face and neck, whispering that he loves me between kisses. I hug him and pull him in close.

"I love you too," I murmur, gently scraping my stubble against his cheekbone.

He puts his hands up to my face and I feel his bracelet press into my skin. I reach and slide my fingers over it and feel the texture of the leather, warm from his body heat. I turn my head and kiss the fine skin on the inside of his wrist.

He pulls back as I start to soften and eases himself off me. "Looks like I'll be doing laundry tomorrow before my parents get home," he wrinkles his nose. "We've got glitter mostly everywhere."

I chuckle. "Well don't blame me; you were the one who wanted us to decorate our dicks for Christmas. I take no responsibility for your bed looking like Santa's workshop."

Once we're cleaned up and have de-glittered ourselves as much as we can manage without a shower, we get dressed and go downstairs to order pizza. It doesn't take long to arrive which I'm glad about because I'm starving. All the sex really helps to work up an appetite.

We curl up on the sofa and eat in front of the TV, mostly talking over it and not really paying attention. Once we've finished eating we tidy up a bit and settle back down again and make ourselves comfortable. Jasper sits back with his feet up on the coffee table and I lie with my head in his lap while he runs his fingers through my hair. I love having my hair stroked. If I were a cat I'd be purring.

"Don't stop," I protest when he stills for a minute.

"Hold on," he frowns and picks at something. "I keep finding bits of glitter."

I grab his hand and examine it. "Jasper, have you seen how much glitter you still have under your fingernails? I think you're adding more than you're picking out."

"Oops," he snickers. "Yeah, you're probably right. I'm sure it'll come out when you wash it though."

A little later, after more hair-stroking and some making out, we're both lying full length on the sofa in a warm relaxed tangle. His hands are still in my hair and the gentle brush of his fingers is making me heavy and sleepy. I don't want to risk dozing off with Rose and Emmett due back at some point, so I broach a subject that's been on my mind for a while.

"So, Lauren's party…" I prop my head up on an elbow so I can look down at him. "I really don't want to go." He looks at me enquiringly so I plow on, deciding to be totally honest. "I can't face another night of pretending to be single when all I want is to be with you - especially on New Year's Eve. I want to be able to kiss you at midnight and _only_ you."

His eyes soften and he cups my jaw, pulls me down and kisses me. "I feel like that too," he murmurs. "But don't you think it will be too obvious if we both beg off?"

"I've been thinking about it and figure that one of us could pretend to be ill, and the other could go to the party but sneak away early. How about that?"

"I guess that would be less noticeable," he muses. "And we could hang out here because Mom and Dad are going to a party in Seattle so are away overnight again. So I could fake an illness and you could come here when you get away from the party."

I nod enthusiastically. "Yeah, that would be awesome. But are Rose and Em going to Lauren's?"

"Yeah, I'm sure they will be, so they won't be back until well after midnight."

"Okay then," I smile. "Let's do it. We'll have more fun here together than we would at a party trying not to out ourselves accidentally after a few drinks."

"Yeah," he grins. "And we can have naked fun here too, which is my favorite kind."

"You're insatiable," I tease as I lower my lips towards his again.

He licks his way into my mouth and then sucks on my lower lip before pulling back to look at me with a filthy expression on his face. "Yeah, I am. But you love it." He's totally right of course.

XOXOXOXOX

I head home at eleven. It's easier to be gone by the time Rose and Emmett get back.

The house is dark when I get in. I shower before bed, scrubbing off residual spunk and glitter but no matter how many times I rinse, I can still find the odd bit sticking to me somewhere when the light catches it. I'm not sure the glitter lube was really the best idea that Jasper's ever had.

The next morning I'm standing by the window waiting for the coffee machine to do its thing when my mom breezes in, glowing from a morning session at the gym.

"Morning, Edward," she comes over to give me a hug, then pulls back and her lips quirk. She lifts a finger to touch my cheekbone and picks at something with a careful fingernail. I flinch a little. "Sorry, honey," she apologizes. "You just had a bit of glitter stuck to you."

I turn away quickly to hide my flaming – and apparently glittery – cheeks. I'm going to fucking kill Jasper next time I get my hands on him.

* * *


	19. Chapter 19

By the time New Year's Eve comes around, I've just about stopped sparkling in the sunlight. Seriously, the glitter lube was amusing at the time but never again. I'm still picking it out of my pubes and it's been three days. I'm just grateful that I don't have a foreskin for it to get stuck under.

Jasper and I have been in regular communication since Monday night and we've laid our plans carefully for the evening. Rose knows what we're up to and is going to pass on the message to Lauren that Jasper's ill. I'm going to arrive at the party fairly early, stay for an hour or so and make sure that I'm visible and chat to plenty of people. As soon as it starts to get loud and crowded I'm going to sneak off and head over to Jasper's place. We'll spend the rest of the evening together and I'm going to risk staying the night too. We're banking on Emmett rolling in drunk since Rose is driving, and it should be easy enough for me to sneak out in the morning long before he surfaces. I've already warned my parents that I'll probably sleep over at a friend's place after the party. This isn't unusual and they would always rather I did that than drive back if I've been drinking.

The dress code for Lauren's party is formal, so I make the effort even though I won't be there for long. I put on charcoal dress pants, dress shoes, a white shirt and a black jacket. I even wear a tie, sage green silk with a diamond patterned weave. I do my best to tame my wild hair but it sticks out in all directions as usual. I study myself in the mirror in the bathroom objectively. I'm not vain. In fact, I rarely spend much time at all in front of a mirror. But I have to admit that I scrub up pretty well. The green tie emphasizes the color of my eyes and my dark reddish hair is striking against the stark colors of my shirt and jacket. It's ironic that I'm making all this effort for a party that I'm hoping to escape from as soon as humanly possible. The only person I'm trying to impress won't even be there, but I'm kind of glad that Jasper will get to see me all dressed up. I hope he'll approve.

When I go downstairs to say goodbye, Alice whistles approvingly. She and Mom are staying in tonight and Dad's on a night shift.

"Wow, Edward!" she exclaims. "You look awesome."

"Thanks," I blush.

"You really do, sweetie," Mom agrees. "So handsome." She gets up and comes to straighten my tie for me. "Now, drive carefully and have a great night. See you next year!"

I grin, that joke never gets old. "Yeah, you girls have fun too. Alice – don't let Mom have too much champagne. You know how grouchy she gets with a hangover."

Mom laughs and slaps my arm. "Oh stop it. That was three years ago and it was only because your father had laced it with brandy. I underestimated the power of those cocktails."

XOXOXOXOX

Lauren's parents are well off and their house is huge. The sheer number of cars in the driveway when I arrive make me glad about this, otherwise it would be hellish. Rumor has it that Lauren has invited all the seniors and some of the juniors from our high school, as well as various older kids who are back from college for the holidays.

The front door is unlocked so I let myself in and venture inside, looking for people to hang out with. I haven't been to Lauren's before and head in the direction of the music, across the hall and down a corridor to the right. A door opens into a huge open plan den with sofas and chairs at one end and a pool table and bar at the other.

I catch sight of Lauren chatting animatedly with a gaggle of girls. They're all wearing brightly colored dresses in different shades and screeching excitedly. They give the impression of a group of exotic birds, the sort that look pretty but make an awful racket. I brace myself and approach them, thinking that it's not a bad thing to get this part of the meeting and greeting out of the way. Then I can find some of my friends to hang out with for a while.

Lauren sees me approach and turns to face me, pulling me in and kissing me on both cheeks rather affectedly. "Edward! It's so lovely to see you. Did you have a good Christmas?"

I detach myself as quickly as I can without appearing rude and nod and smile as we exchange stilted small talk. Luckily she hasn't drunk much yet or she'd probably be groping me already. Thankfully she's soon distracted by Emmett and Rose arriving, and as she pulls Emmett in for a hug I make my escape. I grin at Rose who's glaring at Lauren as she squeezes Emmett's biceps and flutters her eyelashes at him.

I head over to the bar to grab a beer, just one, since I'll be driving but I need something to get me through the next hour or so. Tyler and Erik are playing pool so I hang out with them for a bit. Mike joins us with Jessica in tow. The way she's hanging onto his arm and the glances they keep exchanging imply that the hook-up at Tyler's wasn't just a one-night thing. Jessica looks happy and Mike seems to be enjoying her attention. He can be a bit of an asshole in the way he talks about girls, but actually he's never really had much luck with them before. Maybe he and Jessica will be good for each other; I think they're both insecure. Jessica catches my eye and I smile at her. She grins back and Mike tightens his arm around her shoulders when he notices me looking.

I move on, deciding to explore a bit. People seem to be drifting out through the hallway and down the stairs so I head in that direction. I find a basement room with loud dance music and flashing lights set up, but not many people are dancing yet. Further back there's a living room that opens out onto the garden. It's cold but dry out tonight and there are people outside smoking. The bitter scent of cigarette smoke is blown back into the room by the breeze. I wrinkle my nose. I'm not a fan.

The room is dimly lit and as I peer through the semi-darkness I see people waving at me.

"Hey, Edward!" Jake's loud voice cuts through the background chatter and music that's seeping through from the next room.

I raise my hand in greeting and go over to join them for a while. Ben and Angela are cuddled up on an armchair and Bella is next to Jake on the sofa, sitting close with his large arm around her shoulder. They all look happy and loved-up and it makes me long for Jasper. I resist the urge to check my watch, it's definitely too early to leave yet.

I hang out with them for a while until a respectable amount of time has passed. Using the excuse of getting another drink I make my way back upstairs. I check my watch on the way. It's nearly ten o'clock and the house is packed now. Groups of people are sitting talking on the stairs and standing around in the hallways as well as in the rooms that are designated party areas. I decide I can get away with one more quick circuit of the main room upstairs and then make my getaway.

I go and get a soda from the kitchen and drink it as I wander around, greeting as many people as I can on my way round the room. I manage to avoid getting embroiled in any lengthy conversations and head back out again once my glass is empty.

I pass Rose and Emmett just inside the doorway and stop for a minute to say hey. Rose looks stunning. She has heels on that make her nearly as tall as me. She meets my eye as I head out the door and her lips quirk knowingly. There are a few people standing around talking in the hallway but no one that I know well. I ignore them and head for the door, one or two of them glance at me as I pass but no one says anything.

I deliberately parked my car out on the street so that it wouldn't get blocked in, so I disappear gratefully into the cover of the darkness and leave the noise of the party behind. My face breaks into a grin as I jog down the driveway and I prickle with anticipation at the thought of seeing Jasper.

XOXOXOXOX

He greets me at the door to his house with a smile to match my own as he looks me up and down. He lets me in and closes the door behind us. We stand in the hall for a moment studying each other. He's dressed in nothing but a scruffy threadbare t-shirt and boxers, which do nothing to hide the fact that his cock is at half-mast already. My eyes drop to it and stay there.

"Wow," he says approvingly. "You look sexy all dressed up like that. Come here."

He grabs me by my tie and pulls me close so he can kiss me. He looks pretty fucking sexy too. He has his back to the mirror in the hallway and I watch our reflection as I slide my hands down to grope his ass and pull his hips flush with mine. I can't resist sliding my hands under the waistband of his boxers to squeeze his ass and he jumps and yelps.

"Fucking hell - your hands are cold!"

"Sorry," I chuckle. "I'm sure you can help me warm them up."

He leads me through to the living room where the TV is turned up loud and the fire is lit. It's warm and cozy and there's a nest of blankets on the sofa that Jasper's obviously just climbed out of. Some band is playing on the TV.

"Dick Clark?" I raise an eyebrow.

"Of course," he grins wickedly. "We can't stay in on New Year's Eve without a bit of Dick."

I snort as I kick my shoes off and shrug off my jacket. "Well I think I can help you out there."

"I was hoping you'd say that."

He sits on the edge of the sofa and grabs my hips, pulling me close, his fingers already opening my pants and pushing them down just enough so that he can pull my dick out of my underwear. I'm not quite hard yet but as soon as he sucks me into his mouth I feel myself stiffen and swell. He pulls back and licks delicately around the head while he looks up at me. His pupils are huge, almost eclipsing the blue of his eyes.

"You look like a wet dream come true, all dressed up with your cock hanging out," he observes.

"I could say that same about you with your mouth around me," I grasp my dick at the base and tease his lips with it. "Now get on with it and stop teasing."

"So demanding," he sighs and opens up for me again.

He alternates deep sucks with teasing licks and brings a hand up to knead my balls. He's so good at this, I know it won't take long. I can see the shape of his erection tenting his boxers. He brings one hand down to grip it and I see a wet patch spread as his dick leaks. The sight of it brings me closer and I start to moan and move my hips in little helpless movements. I'm trying not to thrust into his mouth, but he pulls on my hips and hums encouragement so I give into it and fuck his mouth.

I push between his lips, which are wet with his spit, and he strokes me with his tongue. His teeth scrape me slightly when I push a little too deep, making me hiss, so I rein it in a little. It feels fucking amazing and Jasper is a vision with his cheeks hollowed from sucking and his lips shiny and wet. I gasp out a warning as I feel my impending orgasm build. My legs quiver as my hips buck and my cock pulses. He holds my cum in his mouth and I feel it add to the slickness as I continue to move gently in his mouth.

Eventually he pulls off and swallows and tilts his head up to grin at me, flushed and beautiful. He holds my hips and kisses my softening cock as I run my fingers through his hair.

"Is that glitter in your pubes?" He frowns and leans closer to look.

"Yeah," I huff in amused irritation. "Thanks to you I've been finding glitter all over me ever since Monday. Mom picked some off my cheek the morning after and I nearly died of embarrassment."

He laughs as he moves to stretch out on the sofa and pull me down on top of him. I straddle him, my dick still hanging out and pants open. He didn't cum while he was sucking me and I can feel him hard under my ass. I grind down on him as he pulls my tie loose and slowly opens the buttons of my shirt until it hangs open. He sweeps his warm hands over my torso, rubbing my nipples with his fingertips and making me shiver. He moves his dick against my ass and I take the hint, leaning forwards to kiss him before pushing his t-shirt up and working my way down his body with my lips and tongue.

The Black Eyed Peas have just started playing on the televised concert. The music is loud and the bass vibrates through me as I nose at his erection through the thin, damp cotton of his boxers. I can smell the musk and heat coming off Jasper's body and he whimpers and hitches his hips as I close my lips over him and breathe, hot through the fabric.

"Goddamn tease," he grumbles and I chuckle as he tugs my hair impatiently.

I slowly peel his boxers down, sliding them down his thighs enough to give me access to his balls too. I dip my head and lick and nuzzle them, the soft hairs tickling my nose as he groans and tries to move me higher.

"Quit pulling my hair," I growl at him.

"Quit torturing me and get your mouth on my dick!" he retorts. My boy gets seriously pissy when he's horny.

Finally I relent and lick my way up his shaft. I take him in my mouth with one hand around the base and the other cupping his balls. He's leaking pre-cum and I taste him, sharp and salty as his thighs tense and he groans loudly. I know he won't take long, he was ridiculously hard before I even started. I set to work, sucking and licking, enjoying the sounds he's making. I'm so absorbed in my task that I don't hear the sound of the door opening. The first thing I'm aware of is Emmett's booming voice coming from behind me.

"Dude, what the fuck?"

I nearly bite Jasper's dick off as I jump out of my skin and pull away, my heart pounding. I whip Jasper's boxer shorts up to cover him, then sit up to tuck my own renewed, but now fast-wilting erection back into my pants. I look at Jasper and his face is flaming as he stares over my shoulder. He looks mortified but also strangely defiant. He wriggles out from underneath me as I shift to sit beside him on the sofa with my head in my hands. Jasper grabs a cushion to cover his lap and snags the remote, turning the volume on the TV down low.

"Edward?" Emmett sounds even more stunned when he realizes who it was with his head in Jasper's lap.

I feel physically sick with the embarrassment and horror of the situation. "Um, yeah. Hi Emmett." I lift my head and drag my eyes up to meet his shocked face. I wonder fleetingly whether vomiting would cause a welcome distraction, it certainly feels like a distinct possibility.

He's frozen in the doorway, his mouth hanging open. Rose is in his arms. She has an ice pack strapped to her ankle and an expression of amused exasperation on her face.

"You fucking idiot, Jas." She rolls her eyes at him. "You have a perfectly good room, why the hell aren't you using it?"

"We wanted to watch the ball drop," he shrugs unrepentantly, but his cheeks are still flushed and his fingers are white as he grips the cushion in his lap. "You weren't supposed to be back for hours."

"You _knew_ about this, Rosie?" Emmett sounds bewildered.

"Yes," she sighs. "Any chance you can put me down before we carry on this conversation?"

Emmett visibly pulls himself together and puts Rose carefully down in one of the armchairs, then stands back up, facing us.

"I tripped on the stairs in those stupid heels," she gestures at her ankle. "Which is why we're home early, in case you were wondering."

"Well?" Emmett demands.

He looks from me to Jasper and back again with an angry, almost disappointed expression on his face. He reminds me strangely of my Dad on one of the rare occasions that he's genuinely mad at me or Alice. I feel a surge of inappropriate amusement bordering on hysteria and fight it down before I start giggling or something equally unhelpful. I half expect the next words out of Emmett's mouth to be _'what do you have to say for yourselves?'_ but he just waits, staring at me now, his eyebrows raised challengingly.

I swallow audibly, my mouth is dry and my palms are sweating. Jasper takes my hand and deliberately threads our fingers together and holds tight, grounding me.

"So, um… yeah," I mumble. "We're gay." My heart jumps in my chest as the words fall from my lips. Jasper grips my fingers harder and I squeeze back.

"Since when? What about Bella?" Emmett sounds confused. I almost feel sorry for him, this must be fucking weird for him if he truly had no idea, and I really don't think that he did.

"For me? Not long," I answer honestly. "I only realized for sure when stuff happened with Jasper and then I figured out why I was never as into Bella as I should have been."

Jasper cuts in then. "I've known for ages, man. I just didn't want to have to tell people about it at school, you know?"

Emmett moves across the room and collapses back in the other armchair, running a hand through his short dark curls.

"But what about Lauren? And the other girls you've been with?"

"I only kissed them," Jasper shrugs. "Lauren likes to make shit up and I didn't bother to correct her. I'm not into girls but I let them grope me sometimes, so no one would suspect anything."

"Well, shit." Emmett looks kind of lost. As though he's just found out that Santa Claus isn't real, or that babies don't really get delivered by storks. "And you two, how long have you been…" he gestures helplessly with his hands.

"Fucking?" Jasper offers. Emmett winces visibly. "Not long, we've been together for about a month."

"They're not just fucking," Rose chips in, her eyes on Jasper. "It's serious, isn't it Jas?"

He nods and squeezes my hand again. Emmett looks at me for confirmation and I nod too. He looks down at our joined hands and back up to our faces. I watch him carefully but his face is expressionless.

"I'm going to bed," he says after a long pause. He looks pale. "I can't deal with this now." Then there's a flash of hurt in his eyes as he adds. "I can't fucking believe that you kept this from me, Edward."

"I'm sorry," I say quietly. I feel broken, shattered. The adrenaline is starting to drain from my system, leaving exhaustion in its wake. I don't have the energy to try and explain all of this tonight. "Can we talk in the morning?"

"Yeah," Emmett replies. "You're staying over then?"

"I guess?" I look at Jasper and he nods.

"Please," he runs his thumb over mine.

"Just keep it down boys," Rose smirks. "I think you've traumatized Em enough for one night."

Jasper snorts and flips her the finger but Emmett doesn't laugh, and nor do I. We watch as Emmett picks Rose up carefully and carries her out of the room.

"See you in the morning," I say as Emmett's broad back recedes. He doesn't reply.

* * *


	20. Chapter 20

"Fuck!" I collapse back on Jasper's bed and cover my face with my hands. "Fucking _hell!_ That was so _not_ how I wanted Emmett to find out about this."

I feel the bed shift as Jasper lies down next to me. He pulls me into his arms and I bury my face in his shoulder.

"He just needs time to get his head around it," Jasper says. "Emmett's a good guy and he's your friend, Edward. I think he'll be okay with this."

"I hope you're right," I sigh. "I just wanted to be able to tell him in my own time. I feel bad about him walking in on us like that."

"Yeah, I know." Jasper voice rumbles in his chest and his arms are warm around me. "But at least it's over with now. Like ripping off a band-aid."

"I guess," I mutter into his t-shirt.

He tightens his arms around me. "It really will be okay. I'm sure of it."

We lie still for a while, my head is whirling with too many things to process. I let my thoughts gradually settle as Jasper holds me and offers silent comfort. I'm not sure how much time passes before I finally speak again.

"I'm going to tell my parents tomorrow."

"Okay," he replies calmly.

"I know it's sooner than we'd agreed, but I don't want to risk anyone else that I care about finding out the wrong way," I explain, rolling off him and propping myself up so I can see his face. "I'm done with sneaking around behind the backs of the people that matter to me."

He nods. "Okay, that makes sense. Let's do it." He smiles at me. "I'll tell mine tomorrow too then. After all, I can't imagine Emmett being very good at being subtle around my folks – and I definitely don't want them to hear it from him!"

I wince, imagining Emmett putting his foot in it over the dinner table with a suggestive comment or a knowing look. Yeah, that would _not_ be cool.

"Fuck!" I say, feeling a new surge of adrenaline rush through me bringing something that almost feels thrilling with it. "We're really going to do this aren't we?"

"Yeah," he nods and his mouth slowly curves into a wide smile. "We are. And I'm glad," he says decisively. "It's been eating away at me for too long. I want my parents to know who I really am."

We grin at each other, excited and a little bit terrified. He pulls me down and kisses me. His lips soft and warm against mine.

"Hey, we nearly forgot!" Jasper pulls back and I frown, confused.

He reaches for his phone from the nightstand, selecting the clock from the menu and I suddenly remember what day it is. There's just a couple more minutes to go until midnight so we lie back side-by-side and watch the seconds tick away until it gets to 00:00.

"Happy New Year!" He rolls over to face me and we grin at each other like idiots.

"Happy New Year, Jas," I reply as I slide my hand around the nape of his neck and pull him down.

We kiss and kiss until we're breathless, then separate reluctantly, laughing and elated.

"I hope the rest of the year is as good as the first two minutes," he grins. "Now we'd better try and get some sleep so we'll be ready to face the music tomorrow."

I brush my teeth while he takes a leak and then we swap places, getting ready for bed in companionable silence. We curl up together, naked, my back to his chest with him spooned around me so that our warm bodies are flush against each other from neck to toe. I feel his dick, half hard against my ass but by some unspoken agreement we keep things chaste tonight. We're both beat and our need for comfort and sleep is greater than the need for sex right now.

He drapes one arm over me. I hold his hand and play idly with his fingers until I feel his breathing slow and settle and know that he's asleep. I lie awake for a while, but eventually my exhaustion catches up with me and I finally drift off.

XOXOXOXOX

When the light filtering through the curtains wakes me the next morning, our positions have reversed. My nose is buried in the warm skin at the nape of Jasper's neck and his hair is soft under my nose. It's warm under the covers and our bodies are hot and sweaty where they're in contact. My morning wood is pressed up against his ass and it feels fucking good. I can't resist pushing against him and sliding my upper hand down to grip his hip and pull him back as I grind in little slow circles. I hear him mumble and then chuckle as he curves his spine, pushing his ass back against my cock.

"Good morning," his voice is croaky from sleep.

"Mm, it feels pretty damn good from here," I murmur as I lick and nip at the hot, slightly salty skin of his shoulder.

I reach my hand around and find his cock, hard and curved tight against his stomach. He grunts as I curl my fingers and thumb around him and start to slide them up and down gently.

"Fuck," he moans, wrapping his own hand over mine and making me hold him tighter. "My dick hasn't forgotten where we left off last night."

"Don't remind me," I growl. "I don't want to be thinking about Emmett right at this particular moment in time."

I let him grip my hand and fist his cock as he guides my movements. I hitch my hips rhythmically and slide my own leaking erection up the cleft of his ass with each stroke of our hands. I continue kissing his shoulders and he turns his head, trying to reach my lips but the angle is awkward. He shifts onto his back and pulls me on top of him, spreading his legs and pulling on my hips so that our cocks rub together. Then he twists his hand into my hair and tugs me down.

"That's better," he murmurs against my mouth as his tongue slips out to touch my lips delicately.

We kiss, sweetly, softly. Licking and sucking at each other's lips, we rock our hips together and our cocks slide, trapped between our warm bodies. The kiss deepens and becomes more intense as we move faster. I feel the slick slipperiness as we leak pre-cum and sweat builds up between us. Jasper's breathing is rapid and his fingers dig into my ass with a bruising grip. He pulls my cheeks apart and teases my hole with a finger, making me buck against him and moan into his mouth. I pull back to look at him as he starts to groan and move faster and watch as his face contorts and he gasps, spilling hot and wet between us. I roll my hips into him and follow with a final thrust, stilling as I pulse and twitch against him with a curse, adding to the mess on his belly. I crush our lips together and kiss him again, fiercely at first but gradually the kiss turns gentle as our breathing steadies.

"Well at least we won't need to change the sheets today," I grin as I finally pull away.

He laughs and grimaces. "Yeah, why exactly do people call it _dry_ humping anyway?"

I chuckle as I roll off to lie beside him and drag my finger through our cum, tracing aimless patterns in it as it cools until he bats my hand away and reaches for some tissues.

XOXOXOXOX

There's no sign of Rose or Emmett when we venture downstairs, so we make coffee and help ourselves to cereal. I'm not particularly hungry. Anxiety is gnawing at my belly, but I force a few mouthfuls down, hoping it will make me feel a little better.

My senses are on alert and when I hear the sound of footsteps on the stairs I stiffen. Jasper puts a soothing hand on my arm.

"Chill, it'll be fine."

I feel my cheeks burn as Emmett enters the kitchen, supporting Rose with one arm as she limps and grimaces.

"Morning," Jasper says cheerily, as if nothing has changed.

Emmett grunts a greeting without meeting our eyes as he helps Rose sit down in one of the kitchen chairs. Her ankle is visibly swollen.

"That looks nasty," I say sympathetically.

"Yeah, it hurts," she frowns. "But I'm pretty sure it's nothing serious."

"If the swelling doesn't go down soon you should probably get it looked at," I say. "My dad will be home later, you could always get him to check it out for you."

"Maybe," she says.

Emmett is crashing around with his back to the rest of us, making coffee and pulling out bowls for himself and Rose. I catch Rose's eye and raise my eyebrows questioningly, but then Emmett turns back and moves towards the table. Rose looks away as Emmett hands her a coffee.

"Thanks, babe," she smiles at him.

Emmett sits and eats his food like he's on a mission. Rose and Jasper start chatting about the party last night while I sit in silence and watch Emmett, the food I've eaten sitting like lead in my belly. He's my oldest friend and he won't look me in the fucking eye. Everyone's trying to act as if nothing's happened but the atmosphere is horrible and I can't handle it. There's a fucking gigantic elephant in the room and it needs to be addressed.

"Emmett, can we talk?" My voice rings out, a little louder than I'd intended. He pauses mid-mouthful and looks at me expectantly. "Not here," I say. "In the living room?"

"Okay," he gets to his feet and I follow him out of the door.

We stand in the middle of the room, facing each other awkwardly. Emmett just looks at me and waits. I take a deep breath and meet his eyes.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner." He doesn't say anything, so I continue. "I haven't known for long myself. You were going to be the first person we told after our parents if that makes it any better."

His lips flicker. "I guess that's good to know." His brows pull down in a frown. "It just felt shitty finding out like that, especially when Rose already knew."

"I know, I'm sorry, man." I chuckle despite myself and feel my cheeks flush. "Believe me, I really didn't want you to find out _that_ way either!"

He laughs too and scrubs a hand through his hair as he grimaces. "Yeah, that's not an image I'm going to manage to erase from my brain in a hurry."

I look at him carefully. He seems amused rather than disgusted or shocked. "I really need you to be okay with this, Em." I clench my fists nervously by my sides, digging my nails into my palms. "Are we cool now? Or is it too weird for you that I'm…" I pause and man up. "Gay."

"Fuck, Edward," he exclaims. "I don't have a problem with you being gay, really. I mean – it's a surprise and all. I really didn't see this coming, but I don't care." He pauses, bites his lip for a moment and then continues. "You're still _you_ , and you're my friend and Jasper's a cool guy. Honestly, it's not a problem. It's just gonna take me a while to wrap my head around it."

The tension drops away from me and I feel like I could almost collapse with relief. "Really?" I look at him, searching his face and finding only honesty there. "Thank fuck for that, man. I was shitting myself about telling you."

"You idiot," he says roughly. "C'mere." He steps across the room towards me, pulling me awkwardly into his arms for a brisk man-hug with accompanying back slapping. I hug him back and feel tears pricking behind my eyelids. I blink them away, embarrassed by my emotional response.

When we walk back into the kitchen Jasper eyes seek mine immediately, and my face splits into a huge grin as I try and nod discreetly at him.

"See?" he smiles. "I told you." He gets to his feet and puts his hands on my shoulders, leaning in to drop a fleeting kiss on my lips.

I blush again, self-conscious but also thrilled by the easy gesture of affection. Rose is smirking at us, but Emmett looks a little uncomfortable.

"Um… yeah," he says wryly. "I'm totally on board with the gay pride and all, but that's definitely going to take a bit of getting used to."

Jasper just grins at him and keeps his hands on my shoulders, holding tight. "The more you see of it, the faster you'll get used to it. Isn't that called flooding therapy or some shit like that?" He kisses me again, just a brief brush of his lips, then releases me.

We all sit back down and carry on eating. My cereal is soggy but my appetite has returned. We chat and laugh. Jasper's knee is pressed up against mine under the table and each time I meet his eyes a flash of warmth passes between us. Everything feels beautifully normal; it might be a new, different kind of normal but it feels good.

XOXOXOXOX

Rose's ankle is still puffy and painful at lunchtime, so I persuade her that she should let my dad take a look at it. We drive over to my house in convoy, Jasper in my car and Rose in Emmett's.

Jasper keeps his hand in its usual place on my thigh as I drive.

"How are you doing?" he says.

"I don't know," I answer honestly. "I'm relieved about Emmett's reaction, but I feel weirdly numb about having to tell my parents. It's not that I'm expecting them to freak out… I just can't believe that I'm actually going to do it. It doesn't feel real."

"Yeah, I get that," he says thoughtfully. "I've been planning in my head how I'm going to come out to my parents for the last two years. Now today I'm finally gonna do it and I have no fucking idea what I'm actually going to say. I can't quite believe it either."

We drive the rest of the way in silence, each lost in our own thoughts.

Jasper helps Emmett to support Rose as we get her into the house. I've called ahead to check that Dad was home, so they're expecting us. We get Rose on to the sofa with her feet up. The rest of us leave Rose and Em with Dad, and head through to the kitchen.

I help Mom make coffee and tea for everyone while Alice sits with Jasper at the kitchen table, asking him how his Christmas was and what presents he got. I see her looking at the bracelet that's tied around his wrist and she flashes me a quick grin. She'd pestered me into telling her what I'd given him for Christmas and what he'd got for me. I had shown her the scarf but chose not to mention the other things that Jasper had bought me.

I take the drinks through to the living room on a tray.

"It's just a nasty sprain," Dad's saying to Rose. "There's no need for you to get it x-rayed. I can wrap it up for you now, then you need to keep it bandaged for a few days until the swelling goes down. It was good that you managed to get ice on it straight away, that will have helped a lot."

Emmett looks relieved and Rose thanks my Dad. The others drift back through to the living room and we all sit around and make small talk for a while. I'm uncomfortably conscious of Emmett's eyes when they land on me and it feels odd to realize that my parents are the only two people in the room who don't know about me and Jasper and what we are to each other. I feel the tension start to mount, crawling under my skin and making my chest tight. I just want to get this over with now.

It's a relief when Jasper catches Rose's eye and speaks. "I guess we'd better get back, we need to get the house straight before Mom and Dad get home and you're not gonna be any help with that today, Rose."

"True," she grins. "You're on your own with that, but I'm sure Em will help." She puts a hand on Emmet's large thigh, where he's perched on the arm of the sofa next to her, and squeezes. The casual display of public affection reminds me why I don't want to hide my relationship with Jasper from my parents any longer.

I help Jasper and Emmett get Rose to the car, opening the door for them as they support her. My parents and Alice are watching from the top step. I long to be able to touch Jasper but instead I settle for leaning in through the open car window and speak softly.

"I'll text you when I've spoken to them. Call me later – when you can."

"Good luck." He looks at me intently, his face serious. His blue eyes are almost luminous in the dim interior of the car.

"You too," I reply. I glance quickly at Rose and Emmett sitting in the front of the car. They're studiously pretending to ignore our exchange but I know they can hear every word. _Oh fuck it_ , I think to myself. "I love you," I say the words quietly, but crystal clear.

His face blooms with a smile that makes my heart swell in my chest. "I love you too."

"Good luck, man," Emmett turns and our eyes meet for a moment. Then he starts the car and pulls away.

I walk back towards the house, my heart pounding and palms slick with sweat. I have never been more terrified in my life. I feel almost dizzy with panic and force myself to take slow deep breaths to calm down. I can't wait another second. My parents and Alice watch as I approach.

"Mom, Dad, I need to talk to you." I'm surprised at how normal my voice sounds given my mental state.

I look at Alice meaningfully and she smiles and nods imperceptibly and slips away, heading for the stairs.

I move through to the living room and my parents follow. I turn to face them as they look at me expectantly. There's confusion and concern on my dad's face but my mom looks almost hopeful. She smiles at me encouragingly and I take a deep breath that cuts through the silence that hangs oppressively in the room.

"I'm gay."

And just like that, it's out there. Those two little words that I've been so afraid of saying.

My eyes flicker back and forth between my parents. My dad is calm, unreadable as he looks back at me. My mom is smiling but there are tears in her eyes. Suddenly, unexpectedly she launches herself at me. She almost knocks me over, but the force of the hug that she folds me into keeps me upright. Her hair is warm under my nose and smells sweet – comforting and familiar, with a thousand associated childhood memories. My cheeks are wet and I realize that I'm crying.

She pulls back and holds my cheeks, smoothing the tears away with her fingers and thumbs and looks at me with fierce love in her eyes.

"Thank you for telling us." She's still smiling although her face is streaked with tears too. "I was almost sure, but I'm glad you came to us."

I glance over her shoulder at my dad and he's smiling too. "I was still skeptical," he says. "I thought that maybe your mom's women's intuition was on the blink, but she'd almost convinced me."

He moves forwards now and puts his arms around both of us and squeezes us in an uncomfortable, wonderful three-way hug and I'm half-crying, half-laughing as we cling to each other. Eventually I extract myself, brushing my tears away and we separate, moving to sit down. I sit on an armchair and they take the sofa across from me.

"There's more," I say, feeling calm now, ready to tell them everything. My mom is grinning at me and I know that she's expecting what's coming next. Her expression gives me the courage to continue. "I'm in a relationship… with Jasper." I feel my cheeks flush as I look at my Dad. This part is harder than I thought it would be, but he just smiles gently.

"Your mom warned me to expect this part of the announcement too," he grins. "Remind me to always listen to your mother."

She laughs and looks smug, then says. "Honestly, Edward. None of this is a problem for us… you knew it wouldn't be, right?"

"I hoped," I admit. "But it was still hard saying it."

"We love you, we just want you to be happy," she says and my dad nods in agreement. "And we like Jasper, he's a lovely boy." My lips quirk at her choice of words as I drift off for a moment, thinking about exactly how lovely he is. "I assume it's serious, given that you've decided to tell us about him?"

I nod. "Yeah, it's pretty serious. I really care about him."

"Do his parents know?" Dad asks.

I look at my watch and grin, knowing that his parents are due home soon. "Probably not yet, but they will very soon."

"And who else knows?"

"For now, just you, his parents, Alice, Rose and Emmett." I reply. "Alice guessed and Rose worked it out too. We were going to tell the rest of you after the holidays but then Emmett… erm," I falter and feel a blush stain my cheeks. "Emmett found out unexpectedly last night."

My parents are looking at me with amusement now.

"I see," Dad says. "And I know you're going to hate me asking this, but are you boys being safe?"

"Oh my God, Dad," my cheeks burn hot with mortification. "Please. I'm an adult, and there's plenty of information on safe sex on the internet. We really don't need to have this conversation, honestly."

"If you're old enough to be doing it, then you're old enough to be able to talk about it," he replies mildly. "But I'll take your word for it then. I just felt I had to ask." I sigh with relief as he lets the subject drop.

"Okay, so are we done here?" I ask. "Only I really want to go and text Jasper now, I know he'll be waiting to hear from me."

"That's fine, sweetie," Mom smiles indulgently. "And ask him if he'd like to come to dinner tomorrow night, if you'd like?"

I smile gratefully at their easy acceptance of everything I've just shared. "Yeah, that'd be great, thanks Mom."

* * *


	21. Chapter 21

I run up to my room and fall down on my bed, exhausted and relieved and hoping that Jasper's coming out goes as well as mine did. I grab my phone and send him a text:

 _I did it, everything's fine. ur folks home yet?_

I wait anxiously for a reply, it comes through quickly.

 _Glad it was OK. They just arrived, am helping dad unpack the car. will talk to them soon. call u later._

 _Good luck_ , I reply.

I pull out some books and try to study for a while, but I can't concentrate. I keep at it though, it's better than lying around worrying about Jasper and how things are going with his parents. Eventually I'm interrupted by a knock on my bedroom door.

"Come in," I say, looking up. I smile when I see Alice peeking round the door. She comes in and sits on the edge of my bed as I spin around in my chair to face her.

"So," she beams at me. "You told them?"

"Yeah," I nod. "And it's cool. They were totally fine with everything."

"I knew they would be, but I'm so glad you've done it. It must have been tough."

"It was," I nod. "Even though I thought they'd be okay, it was the hardest thing I've ever had to do."

"And Mom says that Emmett knows too?" Alice's face is carefully neutral but I can see that she's digging.

I groan. "Yeah, he and Rose... erm... kinda caught us in a compromising position last night." She giggles and raises her eyebrows questioningly. "Believe me, Al," I assure her. "You really don't want to know."

"That bad, huh?" she looks amused. "But are things okay with Emmett?"

"Yeah, we worked it out. He was pissed that I hadn't told him before, and that we'd made Rose keep it from him. But he's cool with me being gay." I notice that each time I say the word, it slips out a little more naturally.

"That's great," she smiles again.

"And Alice?" I say, biting my lip awkwardly as she looks at me. "I wanted to say thanks... for everything. You've been awesome over the last few weeks, keeping my secret and just being cool about things. I really appreciate it."

"It's nothing," she says breezily, but her lips tug up at the corners and there is a tell-tale blush on her cheeks. "I know you'd do the same for me. It's what families should be about."

"But they aren't all like that," I shrug. "I feel very lucky."

"Well duh! Of course you are," she grins mischievously now. "Because clearly I'm the most amazing sister in the world."

"And so modest too," I grin back and chuck a piece of balled up paper at her. She sticks her tongue out at me and we both laugh.

"So, is Jasper telling his parents today too?" she asks.

"Yeah," I sigh anxiously. "He's probably doing it right now."

"They'll be okay too, won't they?" she frowns sympathetically. "He must have an idea what to expect?"

I nod. "He thinks they'll be alright about it. They aren't homophobic or anything, so hopefully they won't freak out." I look over at my phone and frown. "He's gonna phone me when he's done."

"Do you want me to distract you till then?" Alice offers. "You look stressed out. How about I whip your ass at Wii bowling for a while?"

"Yeah," I laugh gratefully. "That sounds good."

I know she's not joking about the ass whipping either. My sister totally owns me every time we play that game.

I slip my phone in my pocket, making sure the ringer is at full volume and that the vibrate function is on just to be safe.

XOXOXOXOX

"Fuck, Alice!" I exclaim in frustration as her first ball sweeps away all the pins for the third time in a row. "I can't believe you got _another_ turkey. It's like you have super powers or something."

She does a little victory dance and grins impishly at me. "Girls rule, boys drool." She sits back on the sofa, twirling the Wii-remote dangerously in her hand. "Go on then, big brother. Do your worst!"

I step up, shaking my head in disbelief. Seriously, I should never play this game with her. It's just embarrassing. I line up to take my shot, but just as I'm about to release the virtual ball my phone buzzes in my pocket and I mess it up, sending the ball backwards into the virtual audience making all the miis leap in the air.

I pull out my phone and fumble to answer it with nervous fingers while Alice slips out and closes the door behind her to give me some privacy.

"Hi," I say as I move to sit on the floor, leaning back against the sofa.

"It was okay," he blurts out in a gasp and I let out the breath I'd been holding as he continues. "Dad was pretty shocked but he's supportive. Mom wasn't so surprised though. She'd been wondering for a while but had kept it to herself apparently."

"And are you okay?" I ask him. I remember vividly how terrified I'd felt earlier when I spoke to my parents.

"I am now," he laughs. "I thought I was gonna crap myself when I told them I needed to talk to them though."

"Yeah, I know that feeling," I smile to myself. "And did you tell them about us? What did they say?"

"Luckily you've made a good impression," he replies. "They both like you. I think they're glad that I'm in a steady relationship with someone that they approve of, even if you're not a girl." I snort at that. "Dad asked me if I was completely sure about it, which kinda made me mad. I asked him whether he thought I'd really put all of us through this if I wasn't, and he shut up about it then. Apart from that it went as well as I could have hoped really." He pauses. "So, tell me how it went for you?"

I fill him on my parents' reaction and he's relieved that they've accepted the situation so calmly. He laughed when I told him about Dad checking that we're having safe sex.

"Shit," I can hear the horrified amusement in his tone. "I'm so glad my parents didn't ask me about _that_. Jesus!"

"Oh," I suddenly remember. "My mom wants you to come for dinner tomorrow, is that okay?"

I hear him chuckle down the phone. "Great minds, my mom told me to ask you the same. Hold on a minute, I'll see whether you can come here for lunch instead, is that okay?"

"Yeah, that should be fine." I know I'll be horribly nervous facing Jasper's parents now that they know. But I figure it will be good to get that awkward first meeting over with. I wait for a few minutes and then Jasper's back on the line, slightly breathless.

"Okay, lunch it is then. Rose is over at Emmett's tomorrow, so it will just be you and me with my folks."

That's a relief; I could do without Emmett there to witness my discomfort. "What time should I come over?"

"About twelve, and then later in the afternoon we can head over to yours and have dinner there."

"Great, I'll tell Mom," I reply. "She'll be happy."

We chat for a little longer. Both of us badly need to get some studying done during the rest of the day today. We're back at school on Monday and our exams start the following week. We make a deal that we'll motivate each other and have regular g-talk breaks to make it more bearable.

The plan works and I manage to get an impressive amount of work done in the evening and fall into bed exhausted. I'm a little nervous about tomorrow, but apart from that I feel as though a huge weight has been lifted now that our families know about Jasper and me. I hadn't realized how stressful the secret-keeping was. I know that we're still going to be keeping it from people at school, but that will be easier. Sneaking around at school is infinitely easier to manage than trying to hide our relationship inside our own homes.

XOXOXOXOX

The next morning a thought occurs to me. I manage to get my Mom alone in the kitchen and take a deep breath.

"Um, Mom?" I feel my cheeks flame.

"Yes, honey?" her brow wrinkles as she waits for me to continue.

"Well... now that you know that Jasper's my... uh... boyfriend, not just a friend..." I try not to wince; this shouldn't be so hard to ask. "I just wanted to check... is it still okay for us to be in my room together?" I blurt out, looking at the toes of my shoes, unable to meet her eyes.

"Of course it is, Edward," her voice is gentle and I drag my eyes up to meet her soft gaze and slight smile. "You were allowed to have Bella in your room, why wouldn't we have the same rules for Jasper?"

I smile gratefully. "Okay, thanks Mom. I was hoping you'd say that, but I felt like I needed to be sure."

"You're both eighteen anyway, and you know that your father and I have always felt that it's better for teenagers to have privacy at home instead of having to find other places to go." Her face is serious now. "We trust you and Alice to make your own decisions about what's right for you in your relationships."

"I appreciate that."

She moves forward to hug me as she says, "Jasper makes you happy." It's a statement not a question, but I nod against her hair anyway and hum my agreement. She squeezes me tighter and murmurs, "I'm glad."

XOXOXOXOX

By the time I'm ready to head over to Jasper's my nerves are jangling with tension again. I've changed my clothes three times, which is ridiculous. Logically, I know that wearing the right shirt isn't going to help Jasper's parents be any happier that I'm fooling around with their son. But it's important to me to feel I've done the best I can to make a good impression on them.

"I hope Jasper isn't going to be as nervous as this later on," my Mom chuckles as I check my reflection in the hall mirror and groan in frustration at my disobedient hair. "Make sure you tell him that we don't bite."

"It's not funny," I grumble. "It's always nerve-wracking being introduced as 'the boyfriend,' and given that both of us are boys and that our parents have only just found out we're gay it adds a whole new level of awkwardness. You need to go easy on Jasper tonight."

"Honestly, Edward," Mom straightens the collar on my pale blue button down and tweaks a spike of my hair into place. "Of course we will, what on earth are you expecting?"

"Just warn Dad that if he so much as mentions safe sex he'll be in big trouble."

She giggles and peeps over my shoulder and our eyes meet in the mirror. "Don't worry, honey. I'll make sure he knows. Now off you go, or you'll be late. Good luck!"

I feel as though I'm heading to the executioner's block rather than to meet my boyfriend and his parents for lunch. _It's going to get easier_. I tell myself. It's a useful mantra. I try and imagine a point in the future where I'm completely comfortable and open about my sexuality. I feel optimistic that I'll get there eventually. In the meantime each small hurdle that I cross gets me closer to that goal.

When I reach Jasper's house, he opens the front door before I have time to ring the bell.

"I saw your car," he smiles and pulls me into a hug. I stiffen, uncomfortably aware of the open door to the kitchen behind him and the sound of clattering that signals someone's presence, just out of sight of the doorway. But I force myself to relax and hug him back, reminding myself that we don't have to hide anymore. When he pulls away he kisses my cheek briefly and squeezes my shoulder. "Are you okay?" he asks.

"Nervous," I mutter. "But yeah."

"Come on then," he takes my hand and tugs me towards the kitchen. "They're both in there. Let's get this over with."

He drops my hand as we enter the warm kitchen. Jasper's mom is stirring a pot on the stove that smells amazing and his Dad is putting away some dishes from the drying rack. They both turn as we enter. My heart is pounding and my palms are damp.

"Hi, Edward." His dad steps forwards first and shakes my hand with a tight grip.

"Mr Hale," I meet his eyes and nod and he smiles. It's warm and genuine and I relax a little.

"Good to see you, Edward." His mom puts her wooden spoon aside and wipes her hands on her apron before moving towards me. She pulls me into a hug that's brief and a little awkward, but she's smiling too.

"Can I get you a drink?" Mr Hale offers. "There's juice or soda?"

"Just a soda thanks," I reply.

"I'll get it, Dad," Jasper says and goes to fetch me a glass.

"Is there anything I can do to help?" I offer. I feel uncomfortable standing around without something to do.

"That's kind of you dear," Jasper's mom says. "Perhaps you boys can fix the salad? All the stuff you need is in the refrigerator."

Glad to be given a task to concentrate on, I help Jasper get everything out and we sit at the kitchen table together, peeling and chopping. I gradually start to feel less edgy. We chat about the holidays, school work and the forthcoming exams. But nobody makes any mention of the one thing that I know we're all thinking about. I get that elephant-in-the-room feeling again, but I'm sure as shit not going to be the one to bring the subject up with Jasper's folks, so I nod along and answer their questions. I catch Jasper's eye occasionally and he smiles at me each time. Our fingers brush as we pass things to each other and I have to lean over him to reach the salad bowl as I drop in the vegetables that I've been slicing. I can smell him; all warm, clean boy, and it makes me long to be alone with him.

Lunch is delicious. Mrs Hale has made a spicy chicken dish with rice and there's bread and salad to go with it. Jasper's sitting to my left, not close enough to touch as it's only the four of us here today. We're spaced out, with one person on each side of the table. I wish we were closer so I could press my knee against his under the table. I'm craving the reassurance of his touch.

The conversation stays on safe topics during the main course. But when the apple pie comes out and we're tucking into that, Mr Hale finally brings up the subject we've all been avoiding till now.

"So, boys." He pauses, but the change in his tone instantly makes me sit up and pause in my chewing.

"We want you to know that we appreciate your honesty and support you both." I glance at Jasper as he nods seriously at his father and mutters his thanks. "But we are worried about you, too, specifically that if this gets out you could have a hard time during the rest of your last year at school."

"I understand that, Dad." Jasper replies. "This is why we've decided to keep it quiet at school for now. Apart from Emmett, who we both trust, it's only our families who know and it's likely to stay that way for a while." He looks at me for confirmation and I nod.

I clear my throat. "Yeah, we don't want to rush into telling people," I say. "But I think that if we do... eventually, then we have enough friends who'll support us. And we'll cope with whatever the fall-out is when it happens."

It's Mr Hale's turn to nod now but his face is still serious. "Well you've obviously given it some thought and I respect that. Just be careful that's all. There are still a lot of very prejudiced people in this world."

"I know," Jasper replies. "But we're gay, Dad, and that's not going to change. So if we want to be able to live our lives without having to hide who we really are, we're going to have to face that sooner or later."

Jasper flicks his eyes to mine and reaches to take my hand which is lying on the table. He twists our fingers together and my heart flutters with the shocking thrill of him touching me so intimately in front of his parents. I look up and see Mrs Hale's eyes drop to our hands. She meets my eyes and flashes me a little secret smile that makes me blush.

Jasper looks back at his dad and continues. "But, like I said, we're not in a rush now. We figure it might be best to get through high school without rocking the boat and see where we are then. If we're still together when we go to college, maybe that would be a better time to come out of the closet completely."

Mr Hale nods. "Yes, I guess that might be a little easier."

We hang around for an hour or so after lunch. We help clear up and join Jasper's parents in the living room for coffee. Jasper sits next to me on the sofa, taking the middle of the three seats rather than putting himself at the opposite end. We're close enough that our knees bump occasionally when one of us shifts position. I'm constantly aware of his body next to me, I can't wait to get him alone in the car and kiss him stupid.

Finally, Jasper makes our excuses and we get ourselves together to head over to my place. His mom hugs me as we say goodbye and his dad shakes my hand again and claps me on the shoulder affectionately. We really are incredibly fortunate that both sets of parents are willing to accept us and our relationship so readily. I can't imagine how awful it must be to come out to your parents only to have to face their anger or disgust.

We both ride in my car. It's not far, so I can drive Jasper back later. Without any discussion I make a small detour so we can park up on a quiet road near the cemetery for a while. I'm not planning on getting him naked, I just need to kiss him badly. He chuckles as he realizes that we're not going straight to my place and his hand squeezes my thigh, sliding slightly higher and sending a pulse of heat to my groin. As soon as I park and kill the engine he reaches across and pulls me over so our lips meet. I hum with the relief of finally being able to touch him how I want. His lips are soft and move gently against mine and then down over my cheek to rub against my jaw.

"Fuck, that feels good," I sigh. "I've been wanting to kiss you for hours."

"Me too," he pulls back and grins. "So... how do you feel after that?"

"Good," I say. "Your folks were great and made me feel welcome. I'm so glad they're okay with it."

"Yeah," his hand is still curled around my neck and I feel his fingertips on the nape of my neck as he smiles. "I'm so fucking relieved."

He's beautiful when he grins like that, so I kiss him again. This time the kiss is harder and more determined. He opens up for me and the touch and slide of our tongues and the feeling of his strong hands moving on my back and shoulders soon has me painfully hard. I pull away and lean back in my seat, wincing, and reach down to adjust my dick. Sitting twisted around in the front seat of a car while you make out is a sure-fire recipe for cock constriction. I'm tempted to drag him into the back seat and kiss him some more, but it's daylight and my common sense wins the battle over my libido.

"We'd better get going," I sigh. "Otherwise we'll get carried away and I really don't want Bella's dad having to lock us up for public indecency. I'm hoping we'll get a chance for some alone time at my house later."

"Oh really?" Jasper sounds pleased.

"Yeah, I checked house rules with Mom," I grin as his eyebrows shoot up. "And you're still allowed in my room."

"Nice work," he laughs as I start the car and pull away. "I would have liked to have been a fly on the wall for that conversation; I can only imagine the color of your cheeks."

"Huh, yeah. I was pretty embarrassed, but I wanted to be sure it was okay."

"So I have your parents' permission to molest you on the premises?" His voice has that filthy edge to it that always goes straight to my dick.

"You're impossible," I say severely. "Don't say shit like that to me when I'm trying to drive. I want to get rid of this boner before I get home."

Jasper chuckles at me again but shuts up for a while. His hand is on my leg as usual, but he keeps it safely near my knee. I love the warm pressure, and the knowledge that he wants to touch me as much as I want to touch him.

Eventually he breaks the comfortable silence.

"So are you still sure about not wanting to come out at school?" he asks, carefully casual.

"Um... yeah," I reply. "Pretty sure. I don't think I'm ready for that yet. Why, do you want to tell people?"

"Honestly, yes." His reply surprises me. I'm not sure what to say, but he continues. "It's okay, Edward. I _totally_ get that you're not ready. I didn't think for a minute that you were. I'm only telling you this because you asked me directly. I'm not going to put any pressure on you to come out to anyone else until you're sure you want to."

"It's not that I'm ashamed of who I am, or of being with you," I try to explain, wanting him to understand. "I'm just not sure that I'm ready to deal with any trouble it might cause. I want to keep my head down and get through the last few months of high school; I don't see the point in rocking the boat. Is that really cowardly?"

"Of course not!" He squeezes my knee for emphasis. "You're not a fucking coward, Ed. This is all so new to you and you've been amazing, really. It's fine to wait. I just wanted you to know that if you change your mind, then I'm ready to be all... you know... out and proud or some shit like that."

"So anytime I wanna come and sit in your lap in the cafeteria...?" I side-eye him as I drive and raise an eyebrow.

"Yep, totally cool with me."

"Well I'll bear that in mind," I chuckle.

* * *


	22. Chapter 22

When we get back to my house I can tell that Jasper's nervous. His jaw is tight with tension and he looks a little pale.

"Come on then," I say as we walk up to the front door together. "Let's do this."

I unlock the door and take his hand as I lead him in. There's the sound of clattering coming from the kitchen so we head towards it. He squeezes my hand, but doesn't let go.

We find my mom on hands and knees, trying to get a baking dish out of the back of a cupboard where it's buried under other pots and pans. She hears us come in and turns to look over her shoulder. Just then, the baking dish finally comes free and a pile of pots and pans cascade out of the cupboard onto the floor with a huge crash. She ignores them and jumps to her feet, beaming at us, her face flushed from the warmth of the kitchen.

We're facing her, side by side, our hands still clasped together and she hugs Jasper first, then me. Then she attempts to hug both of us at the same time. It's a challenge, given her size compared to ours but Mom is pretty determined.

When she pulls back there are tears in her eyes. "Jasper, it's lovely to see you dear," she swipes at her eyes and sniffs. "Sorry, I'm hopelessly emotional... it's embarrassing. But I'm just so proud of you boys."

I chuckle and roll my eyes at her, but Jasper replies seriously. "Thank you Mrs Cullen, that means a lot."

"Esme, please," she insists.

"Esme," he grins. "Sorry, I forgot."

We crouch down and assist her in clearing up the mess on the floor but she refuses our offer of more help, assuring us that she's done all the preparation earlier so the hard work is over.

"But you can set the table later on," she says. "Your dad's still at work but he'll be back in about an hour. I think Alice is doing homework in her room. I want to go and have a quick shower. The casserole and jacket potatoes are already in the oven so nothing needs doing for a while."

We fix ourselves a drink. We decide that we don't want to be up in my room together when Dad gets home, so we hang out in the living room watching TV. We sit side by side on the sofa and I put my arm around Jasper and pull him closer, until he's leaning against me.

"Is this okay?" I ask. "It feels really weird being able to do this when there are other people in the house."

"I know," he turns and grins and put a casual hand on my thigh. "But it's good. We'll get used to it soon enough."

He moves closer and kisses me on the lips. Just a quick, sweet brush of his mouth on mine. He pulls back and we smile at each other, happy not to be hiding from our families anymore.

Later, when we hear Mom and Alice's voices on the stairs I feel him shift slightly beside me and turn to meet his eyes. He raises his eyebrows questioningly and I just squeeze tighter with the arm that's around him.

"I'm happy to stay like this if you are," I whisper.

He nods and grins and we turn back to look at the television.

Alice comes through first and grins at us both. "Hey, Jas," she chirps and throws herself into an armchair, curling her feet up beneath her. "Congrats on coming out of the closet." Mom follows her into the room and her lips quirk as she takes in our position on the sofa but she doesn't comment as she takes the other armchair.

"Thanks Alice," Jasper replies with a chuckle. "I'm not all the way out yet, but I'm getting there."

We sit and talk over the TV – which no one's really watching now, until we hear Dad's key in the front door. As we hear him approach Jasper moves to stand and I let my arm drop from his shoulder. He gets up to greet my Dad as he enters the room.

"Jasper, good to see you again." He shakes Jasper's hand and smiles warmly.

"You too, sir." Jasper replies.

"Please, call me Carlisle."

"Okay, I'll try and remember that too," he nods and winks at Mom who grins back. "Esme, Carlisle, thank you for being so understanding about everything." He sounds adorably serious and grown up. I feel so proud of him for being brave enough to cut straight to the chase.

"There's no need to thank us, Jasper," Dad replies, his voice warm. "But I appreciate the sentiment. And we both respect you and Edward for your honesty and for trusting us."

Dad moves to sit on the arm of Mom's chair, leaning in to give her a kiss. Jasper sits back down in his place on the sofa beside me. I don't put my arm around him again but we sit close, touching at the knee and shoulder, closer than two straight boys would be comfortable with.

Mom starts talking to Dad about his day and Alice grins across at me and Jasper.

"What?" I say, feeling uncomfortable.

"You two just look so cute together."

"Shut up!" I hiss at her, hoping that Mom and Dad didn't hear that.

"She's right," Mom smirks and I blush furiously as Jasper chuckles next to me, but his cheeks are pink too.

Dad just looks amused but mercifully changes the subject. I could kiss him.

"So how long till dinner?" he asks Mom.

"About half an hour now," she replies checking her watch and standing up. "Which reminds me, I'd better go and check the casserole and get the veggies on soon."

"Okay, I'll go and change then," Dad stands up too. "See you later kids."

Once they've left the room I glare at Alice. "You need to _not_ say things like that in front of Mom and Dad. It's so embarrassing."

"Oh lighten up, Edward," she smirks at me. "I'm just doing my sisterly duty. It's the law that siblings have to torment you and embarrass you whenever possible about stuff like this."

"Well you just wait till you bring a boyfriend home," I mutter. "I'll be getting out the pictures of you chubby and naked in the wading pool before you can get him through the front door."

"Naked pictures, huh?" Jasper nudges me. "Are there any of you?"

Alice giggles and I shoot her a warning glance. "Don't even think about it."

XOXOXOXOX

Dinner is a relaxed affair, full of chat and laughter. Jasper and I are happily squeezed together on one side of the table opposite Alice and our elbows jostle as we eat. Occasionally he reaches down to squeeze my knee under the table and I return the gesture.

"So, are you ready for school on Monday?" Mom asks.

"I guess," I say. "I need to knuckle down to study for the exams but I'll be glad when they start really. It's the waiting that's the worst."

"And are you boys going to be okay with keeping your relationship quiet at school for now?" Dad asks, a hint of concern flickering on his face as he looks between us.

"Yeah," I nod and feel Jasper's hand on my knee again. "We've talked about it and we're going to wait. Maybe until after we graduate, but definitely for a while."

Jasper chips in. "Being able to be open about our relationship at home will really take the pressure off. I don't think hiding it at school will be a problem."

"Unless Lauren tries to get her claws into you and I lose my cool and bitch slap her," I grin. "That might be a bit of a giveaway."

Everyone chuckles.

"Oh my," Alice says gleefully. "Now _that_ I would like to see."

After dinner Jasper, Alice and I make short work of the dishes. Mom and Dad have drifted through to the living room to watch a documentary. Once we've finished clearing up, Alice takes herself off to her room leaving us alone in the kitchen.

I turn to hang the dish towel that I'm holding on the radiator and jerk, letting out a startled gasp, when I feel a warm hand slide under the back of my t-shirt.

"Someone's jumpy," says a husky voice close to my ear.

I straighten and turn and both of Jasper's hands are at my waist. He's teasing my skin with his fingertips and his blue eyes are dark and hungry.

"Wanna go up to my room for a bit?" I whisper, my heart thudding in my chest already.

"Hell yeah," he smiles that wicked smile and I feel that familiar and welcome jolt of heat in my groin.

We try and walk calmly past the living room door and up the stairs but I want to run and drag Jasper along with me. My dick is hard already and I'm not feeling patient. I take his hand on the landing as we hurry to my room. As soon as we're inside I lock the door and press him up against it, kissing him hard and deep until he groans and grinds against me.

I pull away and wipe my lips with the back of my hand. "I'm gonna put some music on," I say. "You can start getting naked."

He backs towards my bed, his hands already unfastening his belt. "I'm on it," he grins.

"This feels so weird," I say as I grab my iPod and put it on the docking station. "I can't believe my parents are just downstairs."

"Are you sure this okay?" he asks, huskily. "My folks would want us to keep the door open."

"It's fine," I say. "My parents are happy for us to have privacy. We just need to be reasonably discreet.

"Maybe you wanna steer clear of Nine Inch Nails then?" He suggests and I chuckle, remembering Emmett and Rose playing 'Closer'.

I pick some random playlist as Jasper rustles around behind me, I don't have time to scroll through and be selective. I want Jasper to fuck me. It's been way too long since he's been inside me. When I turn back he's stretched out on my bed naked, all long lean limbs and a lazy smile. I drag my eyes down his body and groan when I fix on his hand, tugging deliberately at his already-hard cock.

"Fuck," my voice catches in my throat.

"See something you like?" he drawls. It's a cliché, but he looks fucking hot, so I let it pass.

"Yep," I reply and his smile widens.

I keep my eyes fixed on him as I pull my t-shirt over my head and hurry to unfasten my jeans. I push them off with my underwear, untangling my socks and kicking them all off together. He watches me as I do it, his hand moving insistently over his cock. The bed creaks as I crawl over him and he catches my cock in his hand too, pressing them together in a hot drag of friction.

I lick my way up his neck, nibbling an earlobe before turning my head to find his lips and seek out the taste of him with my tongue. We kiss as I buck my hips into him, sliding our cocks together with each push until we're both panting and sticky.

"Fuck... Jas," I pull away and gasp against his neck, nipping the skin with my teeth. "I want you so bad."

"Me too," he hums as his thumbs trace teasing circles on my nipples. "How do you wanna do this?"

"I want you in me," I murmur, close to his ear. My breath makes him shiver.

"Oh yeah," he sighs and slides his hands round and down, cupping my buttocks and sliding his fingers down my crack. "I want your ass – so that sounds fucking good to me."

I can't wait anymore so I roll off him and lean over to rummage in my bedside drawer for supplies. I press lube and a condom into his hand and lie back beside him.

"Not the glitter lube today?" his mouth turns down in mock-disappointment. "You sure about that? I was looking forward to trying the juicy apple flavor."

"No fucking way," I growl. "Unless you want to explain to my mom why we're both covered in the stuff later?"

"Just kidding, babe," he smirks. "I prefer the taste of your dick to that shit anyway."

He shuts me up by crawling down my body and sucking my cock into his mouth, and proceeds to demonstrate exactly how much he loves the taste of it for a while. He teases me with licks and light strokes of his tongue, only occasionally taking me into his mouth and sucking hard then backing off as soon as my hips start to shift upwards. Eventually he pulls off with a pop and reaches for the lube. I spread my legs eagerly and he grins.

"Such a cock slut," he leans forward to kiss me.

"Such a tease," I hiss into his mouth and dig my fingers into his hips.

He chuckles as he moves back down between my splayed legs and pushes my thighs even wider. He looks down at me, on display and waiting for his touch. My cock twitches and he licks his lips and takes a shaky breath.

"Fuck, you're gorgeous."

He reaches for the lube and slicks his fingers torturously slowly, his eyes roving over my cock and balls and drifting back to my ass. I enjoy his scrutiny, his dick is hard and leaking pre-cum and I can see how much he wants me. I force myself to be patient, although my body is craving, desperate for his touch. I know it will be worth the wait.

Finally, he brings his hand down and circles my hole with one slick finger. My whole body stiffens and I gasp at the contact.

"Oh God... Jas," I whine, needing more.

He presses a little harder but keeps up with the circling movement, teasing the edge of my hole but not trying to push inside. I feel my cock throb and I grip the bedcover with my fingers, twisting the fabric tight. "Please... more," I beg.

He takes pity on me and works his finger inside and I push back, opening up for him. The feeling of it sliding into me nearly makes me cry out but I bite my lip to keep the sound inside.

"Oh yeah," he sighs. "God you feel good inside, Ed. So hot, so tight."

He pumps his finger in and out, slowly at first, then faster. He adds a second, working me open and I feel the stretch and burn but I welcome it, knowing it won't be uncomfortable for long. He reaches for more lube and dribbles some on his fingers as he works them in and out of me. The wet, squelching sounds go straight to my cock and I whimper as he grazes my prostate with a just-right curl of his fingers. He repeats the movement, watching my reactions as I shudder and clutch the bedclothes tighter. I'm longing to wrap my hand around my erection and jack it hard, but I know that if I do, I'll cum almost immediately and I want his cock in me first.

"I'm ready, Jas." There's raw desperation in my voice and he seems to know that I can't wait anymore.

His fingers slip from my clenching hole as my body tries to keep him inside. I'm already grabbing the condom and tearing the wrapper urgently. I pull it free and pass it to him, watching as he rolls it quickly down his length. He squirts some lube on the tip and smears it down his shaft until it gleams shiny-wet, then reaches for my cock and fists it once or twice with his slick hand.

I reach for him and pull him down, needing him inside me right-the-fuck-now. He pushes my knees to my chest and lines himself up. I groan in relief and unbearable pleasure as I finally feel the hot slide and press of his cock stretching me open in one slow, relentless movement.

I gasp as he bottoms out, balls deep in me. He stays there, letting me get used to the feeling. My feet are either side of his head and he turns his face to nuzzle at my toes. He licks the arch of my foot making me giggle and jerk it away.

"Ticklish huh?"

He pulls my foot back and kisses it instead. I like that better. His lips aren't as unbearably squirm-inducing as his tongue was. He keeps his attention on my foot until I wiggle my hips to remind him to get on with business.

"Move now," I urge him.

He sets a slow rhythm, slower than I'd like but when I pull at his hips impatiently to try and make him speed up he shakes his head.

"Your bed'll start banging on the wall if I go any faster," he explains as he drags slowly out of me. He presses back in carefully, making me hiss with mingled pleasure and frustration. "With your parents downstairs and Alice down the hall we need to take it slow."

"Fuck, slow," I grumble but I know he's right really and I'll thank him for it later. Just not now.

True to his word he fucks me slow, but deep. He sinks right to the hilt with every stroke and almost withdraws completely each time, so that the head of his cock teases the ring of muscle at my entrance with every thrust. Painfully slowly, he drives us closer to the edge with each gentle not-quite-hard-enough slide of his cock in my ass, until I'm whimpering and fisting my cock desperately.

He leans forward to kiss me, trapping my hand between our bodies as he speeds up his movements a little. I wrap my legs around his waist, digging my heels into the back of his legs. He's still being careful, staying in control, making sure that we're not too noisy. Right now I couldn't care less who hears us. But Jasper's in charge and he thrusts a little faster now but not so deep. I'm sweating and moaning and _oh-so-fucking-close_ and he kisses me harder to keep me quiet. The sudden surprising slip of his tongue in my mouth is the thing that sends me over the edge. My legs tighten around him as my body convulses and I feel my cock pulse in my fist, shooting hot and wet between us as I moan into his mouth. I feel him tense and his hips buck as he follows me. I cover his jaw and neck with kisses as he pulls his head back and shudders out his orgasm.

"Maybe we shouldn't bother with the bed next time," I suggest. "If you fuck me on the floor it'll probably be quieter."

"Might be worth a try," he grins, flushed. His forehead is damp with sweat as he lets his cock slip gently out of me and pulls off the condom. "Or you could just bend over your desk for me."

My cock twitches with interest at the suggestion. He notices the movement and chuckles. "You're insatiable."

I raise my eyebrows. "And that's a problem because...?"

He passes me some tissues to clean up. "No problem at all," he smirks. "I love how we're on the same page with that."

Once we've cleaned up, we get into the bed and make out for the rest of the evening. We stay naked, just because we can. I know that there's no way anyone will knock on the door when they know that we're in here together, unless the house is on fire. When we get hard again we curl around each other, top to bottom, and suck each other off. We cum together, our groans muffled by each other's cocks.

When tiredness creeps in and we start to yawn, we dress reluctantly. Pulling on our discarded clothes from earlier, untangling our underwear and socks from our pants.

It's late by the time we creep downstairs. No one else is up, but someone's left the light on in the hallway. I let us out quietly and drive Jasper home, feeling tired and satisfied and ridiculously fucking happy.

We pull up by his house and I get out of the car to kiss him goodbye. I lean back against the hood and pull him against me, wrapping my arms tight around him and slipping my hands into his back pockets. His hands slide into my hair at the nape of my neck and his thumbs slot into the hollows below my ears. We kiss, slowly, leisurely, lovingly and pull away reluctantly.

"Thank your parents for dinner," he says. "I didn't get a chance to say goodbye."

"Can I see you tomorrow?" I ask.

"Yeah. D'you wanna hang out at my house in the afternoon for a bit?"

"Sounds good," I say. "Then it's back to school on Monday and back in the closet for us."

He wiggles his eyebrows and smirks. "I quite enjoyed being in the tool closet with you at school. Maybe we can check out some of the other closets on the premises."

I laugh, flushing at the memory. "Maybe," I nod.

"Good night, Ed," he kisses me again and I let him slip from my arms, feeling the chill night air hit me as he moves away.

"See you tomorrow," I shiver and get back into the warmth of my car.

He raises his hand and waves from his doorstep as I pull away.

XOXOXOXOX

Sunday provides blissful respite from all the stress of the last couple of days. We both get some studying done in the morning and hang out at Jasper's house in the afternoon for a while. His parents are both there and Emmett turns up later with Rose. We stay downstairs, playing video games and talking. We don't get any real time alone but it's great just being together and being openly affectionate with each other.

On Monday morning I'm nervous about school. It's only been a couple of weeks, but it feels as if everything has changed now that our families know our secret. I remind myself that we managed to hide our relationship before. We can do it again.

I give Alice a ride to school and she picks up on my anxieties and gives me a pep talk, then distracts me with idle chatter. When we get to school she wishes me luck and skips off to find her friends.

In History class, Jasper and I exchange smiles and casual greetings. It's weird being distant with each other after the intimacy of the holidays. I'm out of practice, but it's okay. I keep the knowledge of what we are to each other tight in my chest, a warm feeling that makes my lips tug up at the corners.

After that, I don't see him again until lunchtime. I slide into the seat beside him with a general 'hey' to everyone at the table. Emmett and Rose are there and I feel a prickle of anxiety when he glances up at me. But he just grins and smiles, managing to be his usual casual self.

"Hey, Ed. How's it going?"

"Good thanks, man," I reply, grateful. _It's okay_ , I reassure myself. _We can do this_.

Tyler, Mike and Jess join us in a cacophony of scraping chairs and noisy greetings.

"Hey, dudes." Mike grins, his arm around Jess who sits down beside him, pulling her chair up close. "Hey, Jas, we missed you at New Year's. So what's up? How were your holidays – anything exciting to tell?"

I feel Jasper's knee nudge mine under the table and I return the pressure as he shrugs nonchalantly and replies.

"Aw... you know, man. Same old, same old. Family stuff, hanging out. No excitement or drama at all – sorry to disappoint. So what about you guys then?" He smirks and looks between Mike and Jess. They both flush and grin, looking a little smug.

I catch Emmett's eye fleetingly as the conversation moves on to Mike and Jess and the nature of their relationship. He grins, a quick flash of white teeth and wide smile before he looks away. Jasper's knee is still pressed tight against mine under the table and I have to dip my head to hide my own smug smile.

* * *


	23. Epilogue

"Oh fuck, Jas... harder." I gasp and push back against him, my arms trembling with the strain of holding myself up as he slams into me from behind.

We're at his house and no one else is home. So we're making the most of being properly alone by taking the opportunity to have noisy sex.

"Jasper... _please!_ " I whine, desperate now.

I'm kneeling on his bed and he's standing behind me gripping my hips. Our skin slaps together with every forceful thrust and he's kept me right on the edge of orgasm for too fucking long. But he's pounding into me so hard that I can't get a hand to my cock without face-planting on the bed, and he fucking knows it.

"Say it," he gasps. "Tell me what you need."

"Touch me," I beg. "Touch my cock. I need to cum."

" _Fuck_ ," he hisses, his fingers digging in as he pumps into me even faster. "Okay."

Jasper releases his grip on my hips, my cock throbs in anticipation and then his hand is on me, curling around me. The force of his thrusts pushes me into the grip of his fist and I cry out at the intensity of sensation that overwhelms me. His cock deep in my ass, his hand tight around my prick and it's almost too much, but exactly what I need and, _oh, fuck... yes!_

I feel my ass pulse, clamping around his dick as my cock jerks in his hand and I cum so fucking hard I think I'm going to black out for a minute. He fucks me through it, not slowing up in the slightest until finally his relentless rhythm falters and I realize that he's cumming too as he moans loudly and twitches inside me.

I fall forward onto my elbows, panting as though I've run a marathon. Jasper releases my cock and his hands are back on my body, gentle now. They roam over my sweaty back in soothing strokes as our breathing slows. He leans forward and I feel hot breath on my back and his tongue traces the bumpy path of my spine as his cock gradually softens and starts to slip out of me.

Eventually he pulls out and deals with the condom while I mop up as best I can before collapsing to lie on my back. Jasper crawls back onto the bed and I pull him down until our lips are nearly touching.

"That was fucking amazing," I whisper, and kiss him hard and deep.

When we're done kissing, we lie in a sweaty tangled heap, idly caressing the parts of each other that we can reach and reveling in our post-orgasmic bliss.

"I'm gonna have to take off soon," I sigh, regretfully. "I wanna have time to shower before dinner, I must stink."

Jasper rolls over and buries his nose in my neck and hums appreciatively. "You smell awesome to me. All hot, sweaty boy and sex. What's not to like?"

"And that's exactly what I don't want to smell like while I'm eating dinner with my parents," I chuckle. He kisses me and teases one of my nipples with his thumb, pressing his half hard dick against my thigh. "Quit trying to distract me," I growl at him.

He huffs, but pulls away to lie beside me, his head on my shoulder.

"So, graduation party tonight. We gonna sneak off for bathroom blowjobs as usual?" He asks, still drawing circles around my nipple with a forefinger, making me shiver.

"Probably," I chuckle.

"Awesome," he turns his head to drop a kiss on my jaw.

Sneaking off to find a handy bathroom at a party has become a bit of a habit for us. We're very good at hiding our relationship in front of people who don't know about us. But something about the secrecy makes us horny. It turns out that I have a bit of a kink for hasty, desperate hand jobs or blow jobs in inappropriate places at parties – or even at school. Jasper is always happy to oblige. As the year has progressed we've taken more risks, feeling that we have less to lose as we get closer to leaving high school for good.

The circle of people who know about us has gradually widened. I told Bella sometime in February. She was great about it, although she was a bit surprised. Jasper and I decided to let Jake in on it too. We often hang out with him and Bella and it made sense to tell him as well. Ben and Angela are the other people that we eventually decided to trust with our secret. All of them have been totally supportive.

"So I'll pick you up later, yeah?" I ask.

We've already decided to turn up at Paul's graduation party together. It'll be busy and crowded, so no one is likely to notice when we arrive as a couple. Plus we're getting to the point where we don't care that much anymore.

I untangle myself from him and slide off the bed, scouting around his room to retrieve my discarded clothes, which appear to have been flung far and wide in the getting-naked-frenzy that happened a little earlier. I laugh as I finally find my underwear hanging from his desk lamp.

I kiss him goodbye and leave him in his bed, still naked and adorably rumpled. I let myself out and head home. As I drive, I think back over the past few months, and reflect on how my life has changed since Jasper came into it.

We've been virtually inseparable since New Years, but seem to have successfully avoided arousing suspicion. It helps a lot that we share classes, so we have an excuse to hang out and pair up on projects. We spend most of our spare time hanging out together and either studying, chilling, making out, or fucking, depending on the level of privacy available at the time.

Our relationship has only gotten stronger over the months we've been together. My love for him has grown and deepened into something that feels solid, like the foundations that my life is resting on. I'm totally secure in the knowledge that Jasper feels the same, and he's come to be my best friend as well as my lover. I can't imagine my life without him in it.

When our college admissions letters arrived in the spring, we were nervous as hell that we'd end up being forced apart by geography. But luck was on our side. I got accepted at Berkeley as I'd been hoping. Jasper, as he'd expected, didn't get into Berkeley but got into UCSF. We've decided that we'll both live on campus in our first year, but have already talked about the possibility of sharing an apartment in our second year, assuming we're still together then. I can't imagine that we won't be.

As I pull up outside my house, I'm smiling. Life is good.

XOXOXOXOX

Paul's one of the guys that we know from the football team. All of the usual crowd will be at the party he's hosting this evening. His parents have bravely checked into a hotel for the night, apparently they've hired a team of cleaners to help sort the house out in the morning.

When I arrive at Jasper's place, his mom lets me in. She greets me warmly with a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

"He's not quite ready yet. You can go on up and hurry him along."

"Thanks," I smile and head up the stairs.

I enter his room without knocking and leave the door slightly ajar. He's standing with his back to me, shirtless, as he fastens his pants. His skin is smooth and golden and I admire the light play of muscles under the skin.

"Hi, Ed," he says, not turning around.

I cross the room and put my hands on his shoulders, leaning down to kiss his neck and breathe in the warm scent of him. He turns, and slips his arms around my waist, sliding them down to squeeze my ass as I run my hands over his chest. The light hairs tickle my palms and I feel his nipples tighten as I graze them deliberately with my fingertips. He pulls my hips closer and I can feel that he's getting hard. He's not the only one.

"I'm supposed to be hurrying you up," I murmur.

"Really?" he grins. His eyes drop to my mouth and stay there. He licks his lips. "That's not working out too well now, is it?"

I bring a hand up and slide it around to the nape of his neck, pulling his lips to mine. He tastes faintly of toothpaste and I lick into his mouth, chasing the flavor. Our tongues slide together, slow and hot and I feel my dick growing harder against his hip. I put a hand down and trace the outline of his erection through the fabric of his pants with my fingers. He grunts and pushes into my hand as my thumb finds the sensitive head. He pulls back and looks at me, lips wet and pupils blown.

I sigh. "Much as I hate to say it – you need to get dressed."

"Yeah," he wrinkles his nose in disappointment. "Fuck! I'd rather get naked."

He reaches for his shirt and pulls it on. We're both in jeans with button downs, my shirt is slate grey and his is white. His golden skin looks warm against the crisp fabric and his blue eyes stand out vividly. I reach to fasten his buttons for him, starting at the bottom and working my way up. When I'm done I meet his amused eyes and brush a quick kiss on his lips.

"It feels weird doing them up," I grin.

"All kinds of wrong," he agrees ruefully.

He sits to pull his shoes on, then jumps back up.

"You ready?" I ask.

"Yep, let's go."

XOXOXOXOX

We deliberately get there a little late. It's less likely that people will notice us arriving together if we're not among the first to get there. I park a little way down the street and we walk back to the house together, keeping a carefully calculated distance between us.

We head into the crowded house and go in search of beer. We hang out in the kitchen for a while then move through to the living room which opens onto the garden. We gravitate toward our usual crowd, chatting with Bella and Jake and then Angela and Paul find us too. Jasper and I sit side by side, playing the part of 'just friends' perfectly. We have it down to a fine art now. Those who are in the know are so used to it that they have no trouble acting normally around us. They never slip up with knowing glances or misplaced comments.

As the room fills, Jasper goes to fetch another beer for himself and a soda for me. I excuse myself from the group and chat with Emmett and Rose on the other side of the room for a while. Mike and Jess drift over to join us, and then Tyler appears with Lauren in tow. Jasper and I were relieved when those two hooked up a few months back. It made our lives much easier once Lauren stopped trying to grope Jas all the time.

Jasper comes to find me and gives me my drink. Our eyes meet briefly as I thank him, and our fingers brush deliberately. He goes back over to the other group. We usually make a point of separating at parties for a while, it's easier that way.

As always, I'm constantly aware of his position in the room. I catch his eye occasionally and the tension between us gradually builds. Soon I can't bear to be apart from him any longer so I drift over to the group he's with and slide in beside him. The room is crowded now so I can stand close to him without it looking odd. Our shoulders touch and I can feel the warmth of his body. My hand grazes his and I itch with the desire to take it and thread our fingers together.

After a few minutes, Jasper excuses himself to go to the bathroom. He squeezes past me with a fleeting touch of his hand on the small of my back. I give him a couple of minutes' head start, then drift away from the group too, muttering that I'm going to get another drink. I slip through the crowd and head to the stairs, knowing that he'll be up there somewhere waiting for me.

The house has three floors. The first floor landing is well lit and there are a few girls hanging around outside what I presume is a bathroom. They are chatting and giggling and don't pay any attention to me as I slip past and continue on up the next flight of stairs.

On the top landing it's darker; the only light comes filtering up from the floor below. I pause at the top of the stairs and look around. I spot a figure waiting in the gloom at the end of the corridor, leaning against the wall. I approach cautiously, wanting to be sure before I pounce.

"Hey, you," the familiar husky voice makes my heart beat faster.

I come face to face with him and move in close. Jasper's legs are spread slightly and I stand between them. He pulls me closer. His tongue parts my lips, hot and insistent and his hands roam over my back, sliding under my shirt, seeking skin. I tangle one hand in his hair and tilt his head to deepen the kiss while my other hand goes straight down in search of his dick through his jeans. I palm him roughly and he hums into my mouth and pushes back against me.

A loud burst of giggling comes from the landing below us and we startle, pulling apart and staring at each other, faces just inches apart. Our breathing echoes harshly around us in the enclosed space.

He makes a small, impatient sound and slips a firm hand round the back of my neck, trying to pull my lips back down to his, but I resist.

"Let's go back downstairs," I murmur. "It's too risky."

He frowns and sighs. "I don't care," his fingers twist into my hair. "I'm fed up with hiding."

"Me too," I say. I lean in and brush my lips chastely over his. "I'm sorry, Jas. But we've taken so many risks already and got away with it."

Something feels different tonight, but I'm not sure what. I just know that I don't want to risk fucking things up. I trace the shape of his cheekbone with my thumb and continue talking, trying to explain my tangled thoughts.

"Now that we've come this far I just know that I don't want us to be outed like this. It was so awful when Emmett walked in on us at New Years. When more people find out about us I want it to be our choice, you know? It's only a matter of time before someone comes up here looking for another bathroom."

"Maybe _we_ could go and look for the other bathroom?" He suggests hopefully, but I shake my head.

"Nope," I grin and squeeze his dick through his jeans. "I'll suck you off in the car later if you're good."

"I'll hold you to that," he flashes me a quick smile, then his face turns serious again. "But now, I just want to be able to kiss you in public, and show the world that you're mine." He sounds almost wistful and it tugs at my heart.

I know that he's been ready to be more open about our relationship for a while; he's never kept that from me. It's always been me who's been reluctant and I feel bad for making him wait. I just can't quite imagine how to actually make the announcement to a wider group of friends and acquaintances. Telling close friends has been relatively easy, but I hate the thought of rumors and gossip spreading like ripples in a pond once word gets out. We've even joked that maybe we should put a notice up on a board at school and be done with it, but then most people probably wouldn't believe it anyway.

I lean forward and kiss him again, soft and brief but with an unspoken promise of _more, later_. I take his hand and lead him to the top of the stairs.

"I'll go down first," I say. "See you in a minute."

I hurry down, past the giggling group of girls on the middle level. I feel their eyes on me as I pass but I don't bother to look at them.

XOXOXOXOX

The party progresses in typical style. It gets noisier and messier as people get drunker and less inhibited. Couples are making out in dark corners and bottles and glasses are accumulating on every available surface.

I'm just starting to think about catching up with Jasper again and seeing whether he's ready to leave, when I hear Tyler yelling loudly.

"So who's in? C'mon guys –Truth or Dare."

There are various whoops and hollers from around the room. Some enthusiastic, others less so, but Tyler isn't deterred. He's obviously been at the Jack Daniels bottle that's hanging loosely from his hand and he's swaying slightly, leaning on Lauren who's grinning and clapping enthusiastically.

The game is chaotic and disorganized at first. Tyler tries to make people sit in a circle and take turns, but too many people are playing and everyone yells out challenges at once and it all goes to shit. So eventually they fall into a pattern of one person challenging another at random. Then the person who's just been challenged picks the next person to challenge, and so on.

The game is pretty predictable as usual. People end up answering questions about sex, and mostly being dared to kiss someone, take off an item of clothing or drink a shot. Truth or Dare never fails to be entertaining though – especially if you're lurking at the edge of the game, avoiding the limelight and are more sober than most. I spot Jasper on the other side of the room, I catch his eye and we grin at each other. I know that we're both remembering that day on the bus, all those months ago.

"Edward! Truth or dare?"

I'm pulled abruptly back to the present. People are shouting my name and I realize that I'm the next victim. Jessica is looking at me expectantly.

"Uh… truth," I blurt out. I figure that I've had enough practice at hiding things. I can always lie if I don't want to answer honestly.

Jess looks thoughtful and glances around the room for inspiration, her eyes pass over Bella and that seems to give her an idea.

"Edward, have you ever been in love?" She asks.

My eyes flicker around the room. They meet Bella's briefly and then I find Jasper. His eyes are fixed intently on me and my lips curl into a smile that I couldn't stop even if I wanted to.

"Yeah," I reply, still looking at Jasper – the only person I've ever loved. He grins back at me as lots of the girls coo over my response, assuming that I was talking about Bella.

"Your turn, Ed," a voice calls. "Who's up next?"

A sudden rush of adrenaline courses through me leaving me breathless and trembling and I keep my eyes on Jasper. The hubbub of conversation starts to die out around me as people notice my hesitation and turn to look at me curiously. Jasper's not smiling anymore, he's staring back at me and it's as if everyone else in the room has ceased to exist. He gives me the tiniest of nods and I know. I know exactly how this is going to go.

"Jas," my voice is strained, scratchy and unfamiliar in my throat. "I dare you to kiss me."

There are a few shocked gasps. One or two people burst into laughter but are hushed quickly by others, who are quicker on the uptake.

Jasper starts to move. I watch as his face breaks into a smile that's so radiant and full of love that I stumble, my legs shaking under me. Unseen hands hold me up and propel me towards him. Then we meet, and it's his arms holding me up as we cling to each other and our mouths find each other's in an awkward crush of lips and teeth.

It feels like a first kiss. I'm suddenly not at all sure what to do with my tongue, and we bump noses and chuckle. But gradually we settle and find a slow push-pull of lips and slide of tongue and I feel his hands on my hips dragging me closer as my hands weave their way up into his hair. I'm aware of whispering, rising and swelling around us like the rustle of leaves in a high wind, but I hold him close and ignore it.

"Okay, dudes," a voice finally booms out. "I think we got the message. Now can you two get a fucking room, so the rest of us can get on with the game?"

We pull apart, laughing and elated, lips wet and cheeks flushed. Emmett's standing beside us with a huge shit-eating grin on his face. He puts his enormous arms around both of us. Then Rose pushes through the crowd to join us.

"About time!" She grins as she pulls us in for a kiss.

Suddenly Bella and Jake are there too, and Ben and Ang. Even Mike and Tyler come over and slap us on the back, looking stunned but accepting. I scan around the room and register a few looks of shock and amusement, but most people are smiling.

"Well shit!" Mike shakes his head in amazement. "I had no fucking idea. How long has this been going on?"

I catch Jasper's eye and raise my eyebrows at him. He grins wickedly and turns to Mike.

"Well… you remember that day when we played Truth or Dare on the bus after football?" he drawls.

"Uh… yeah," Mike frowns, looking confused.

"Well let's just say that Edward saw something he liked."

 **THE END**

* * *

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